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My YA Book Completely Changed My Life — And The Entire Publishing Industry

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At about this time last year, the film adaptation of Jenny Han’s 2014 novel To All The Boys I Loved Before was weeks away from dropping on Netflix. Han could only imagine what the film's reception would be. Her best-selling trilogy about Lara Jean Covey’s relationship with the cocky yet lovable Peter Kavinsky already had a devoted fan following, prone to writing thousands of pages of fan fiction and buying custom Lara Jean-themed Kitchen Aid stand mixers.

Still, you can never predict the future — namely, Han never could have known her brainchild would become a sensation so explosive that Netflix did something completely out of character. The streamer, which is notoriously opaque about numbers, released concrete data: Over 85 million subscribers watched the film in its first month. To All The Boys would claim a place in the high school rom-com pantheon (alongside The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink) and launch its stars, Lana Condor and Noah Centineo, to household name-level fame. It also changed YA publishing — big time.

“Having a movie come out on Netflix is so different than having a book come into the world,” Han told Refinery29. “It’s overwhelming to have my story be known by so many people.”

To All the Boys ’ massive success sparked a search for similarly kind-hearted, emotionally intelligent rom-coms within the book industry, which Publisher’s Weekly aptly named “the Han Effect.” The movie also ushered in a new era for YA literature and its relationship to films: Welcome to the age of crossover appeal. According to a study by Publisher’s Weekly, approximately 55% of YA readers are adults. To All the Boys’ 85 million viewers may reveal that the same appeal YA books hold for older readers translates to film adaptations. Young love melts old hearts. To All the Boys proves that YA novels are the new go-to source for rom-coms – and the success of 2018’s other YA book-to-movie adaptations like Love, Simon and Dumplin back it up.

Meanwhile, Han is adjusting to her new schedule, which straddles the demands of a book author and a screenwriter — and involves far more flights between New York and L.A. Her book and its Netflix adaptation may have completely changed her life, but she’s still the same highly motivated writer who has stories pouring forth from her mind. And it’s not just Condor and Centineo’s lives she’s changed. Fans everywhere were overjoyed to see a woman of colour leading a story, which led to something else Han never could have predicted: a new go-to Halloween costume.

Here, Han talks to Refinery29 about her magical, life-changing year.

Refinery29: Did you have any idea that all this would happen?

Jenny Han: “No. It was a magically warm reception that you can never even begin to dream of. I hoped it would connect with people, but I could never imagine that it would be so widely and so warmly received by so many.”

How has this whirlwind year impacted you personally?

“It’s been such a learning experience. Having a movie come out on Netflix is so different than having a book come into the world. Overnight, millions of people are watching that movie, if you’re lucky. By the end of the first month we had 85 million views. It’s overwhelming to have my story be known by so many people. Versus the book world, which is much more of an intimate space. You know all your readers, in a way, and feel like you have a relationship with them.”

Those kind of numbers don’t exist in the book world! Eighty-five million!

“No way! The average American reads, I believe, three books a year. Book reading is by its nature a more intimate experience. When you read a book, you’re not looking at your phone or going in an out of the room. You’re really focused on it. There’s something about that storytelling experience of being just you and the reader where you feel really close to them. But it’s exciting to have a wider audience as well, because so many people have come to the books.”

You were always very popular within the YA community and the book world, but the wild success of the movie has turned you into a public figure of another variety. What’s that been like? Do you ever miss the old days?

“I like the old days and the new days! I have to travel so much because of movie stuff. I was in L.A. with another writer friend, and he said, ‘Are you homesick yet for New York?’ I said no; ‘Wherever I am is wherever I am. Wherever I am feels like home.’ In that same way, I was happy before, and I’m really happy now.”

Is there a routine that you’ve relied on to keep you grounded as your life has changed?

“My skincare routines. Whenever you hear people talk about the 10-step Korean routines, you think it’ll take so much work. But the routine of it is really soothing. You’re cleaning, toning, moisturising; you’re washing the day away. It feels like you’re taking care of yourself. It’s similar to what I love about baking, which has always been a stress reliever for me. The routine of all these steps and a finished product when that product is over. It’s very different than writing a book, which can feel very infinite and interminable – like, when will I be done? I don’t know. I’ll know when I know. I like to bake because at the end of the process, you have a cake or a cookie, and it looks the way it supposed to look.”

I know you don’t write your books’ scenes in order, which is the opposite of baking.

“It’s interesting that you bring that up. It does make for a more chaotic writing experience, which is the opposite of how I feel when I’m baking. It’s also nice to have a cookie when it’s done.”

Lara Jean loves baking, too.

“[In] the third book, there’s a whole lot of baking. It’s very meta. The more I was stressed out, the more I was baking. It turned into this whole thing where she’s stressed out and baking. It’s a very personal experience.”

Has your writing routine changed this year?

“It’s been harder to find that time. I have a lot more demands on my time in terms of promoting the movie and working on the next movie. It’s its own kind of work. Fun work, but still work. You have to carve out space. I still do my writing retreats, which I've been doing my whole writing career. I rent a house and gather a bunch of writer friends together and go work. It’s to get outside of my own everyday routine and immerse myself in the work.”

Can you still easily get back into the creative headspace?

“Oh my gosh, yeah. I have so many ideas. And so little time.”

Lana has become a full-on celebrity because she got this dream role. How do you feel knowing that your story was part of launching her career?

“I really adore her. I couldn’t be more proud of her when I see her out in the world. She's so smart and so driven. I see her as somebody who has a long career ahead of her. That’s all I want, since the first time we met. I told her that I hoped this could be a launching pad for her to keep working. And not the only time we get to see an Asian American girl be the lead in a movie.”

Did you foresee Peter Kavinsky becoming a fixture in the romantic lead pantheon?

“Of all the boys I’ve written, Peter’s been the biggest hit with the most people. There’s something about that character that people gravitate towards. Noah does a great job of drawing out his softness and sweetness. In some ways it’s an easy role and it’s a tough role. Peter is a sweet guy, but he has an ease about him in life. He’s used to having things easy. He’s handsome; people like to be around him. Yes, he had some cockiness to him, but he was unabashedly himself. People are drawn to that. He’s had struggles, sure — but to balance that and show that vulnerability is something that Noah brought out beautifully.”

From afar, it seems like you, Lana, and Noah are so close.
Lana and I FaceTime every day. I see her all the time. She’s been so generous to me. She’s always inviting me to really fun stuff. The other day, one of my friends was like, ‘Doesn’t she have her own friends to go out with and not like, you.’ And I was like, first of all thanks. But I think she’s genuinely so sweet and generous. And she knows I’d love to go places with her. We always have a fun time together.”

To All the Boys is part of a recent wave of YA books being turned into movies. How do you hope that YA literature and movies can coexist?

“The relationship I hope to see between the books and movies is that you get more great parts for young women. [Movies based on YA books] are going to be about heroines that have fully realised inner lives, are actively choosing their own life paths, and aren’t about them supporting a boy’s story. That’s something really specific about YA.

“I think you’ll notice that as they get older, there aren’t as interesting parts for women. In the 20s, 30s, early 40s...you see the wife, the supporting-a-man role. Then, they cross a threshold and get more meaty parts. But there’s a gap between where there’s not as much. YA does serve that audience.”

Do you foresee pursuing more screenwriting opportunities?

“Definitely. Writing is just writing, and I have an interest in doing all kinds of writing. It’s fun to explore different mediums. It’s a way to challenge myself and examine my own writing process and what makes writing fun and exciting for you.”

Has this year allowed you to stretch those abilities?

“It’s given me more opportunity and so many chances to learn new things. That’s been such a gift. Now I understand what a line producer does; I understand all the work that goes into getting a movie made. The most emotional process for me was to be on set and get to see all the unseen hands that go into making a movie. You realise how important every piece of the puzzle is. You feel humbled and overwhelmed that this thing that you created alone is now being is now being worked on, with such respect, by so many people.”

What’s been your favourite part of the last year?

“I would say Halloween was a huge high point for me. I didn’t expect to feel so emotional about it. But I definitely cried. They started to pour in, picture after picture. To be able to see this character, Lara Jean, take her place in the pantheon of Asian American female characters of which there are so few. Halloween is limited when you're trying to think of a character to be from pop culture. The options are so limited. To think there’s one more option where someone can say, 'There’s someone who looks like me and I can emulate,’ is profoundly moving.”

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Roberto Cavalli Suddenly Closed All Of Its US Stores

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It's the (abrupt) end of an era for the celebrity-driven fashion label Roberto Cavalli. The brand behind Beyoncé's The Mrs. Carter World Tour costumes shuttered its US operations on Friday while looking for a creditor to salvage the business.

On Friday, the Italian fashion house unceremoniously shut its doors to all of its US stores. Business of Fashion reports the label closed seven full-line stores and a few off-price outlets in preparation to liquidate its North American operations. 93 people in total lost their jobs, and security reportedly ushered employees out of the existing stores. BoF is also reporting the US corporate team was notified on March 22 that the North American operation would need to close all doors, resulting in CEO Salavtore Tramuto's resignation. The e-commerce business will be rerouted through the European business operation, but is temporarily shut down in the meantime.

Since Cavalli himself stepped down four years ago, the label has seen quite a high turnover on the exec side. Peter Dundas only stayed 19 months, and last week, his successor Paul Surridge left after less than two years. He posted his decision to leave on his Instagram: “I have given much consideration to this decision and reached the conclusion that the mission I have signed on has changed and enters a new direction with a new perspective,” the statement read. “I now wish to focus on other projects that I put aside in order to achieve our common goals with Roberto Cavalli Group.”

We'll be sure to update this story as we learn more.

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How 'Sick Lit' & Books About Teens With Cancer Shaped My Childhood

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I was 10 the first time my school called my parents. I hadn't done anything wrong per se; I wasn't a problem kid, just a — well, a troubling one, perhaps. My teacher was apparently concerned about my reading habits: Namely, that they were kind of fucked up.

This was that special stage in elementary school life before classmates split off into designated cliques and instead are defined by what they read. Popular factions in my school included the Baby-Sitters Club girls, the kids who stuck to R.L. Stine, and the precocious Tolkien readers who rolled their eyes at Narnia fans. And then there were the other kids: those gloomy pre-adolescent types who sit on the grass at recess, nose deep in a book about the Holocaust or bulimia or teenagers dying — slowly — of cancer. You know, the "sick lit " fans, like yours truly.

In recent years, sick lit has gone mainstream. Thanks to John Green’s blockbuster book The Fault in Our Stars (and the blockbuster movie that followed) the genre has even become a little prestigious. We now have serious conversations about the importance of responsible narratives around teen mortality, grief, mental illness, etc. We debate the merits of 13 Reasons Why with its harrowing depiction of suicide, and its questionable romanticisation of the aftermath. We scrutinise stories of terminal teenage love, like the one at the centre of Five Feet Apart. Are these narratives helpful? Damaging? Exploitative? All great questions worth thoughtful answers. But back in the '90s, no one was asking them. That wasn’t what sick lit was about. Back then, it was straight-up tragedy porn. And the genre was ruled by the greatest tragedy porn star of all time: Lurlene McDaniel.

We roll our eyes at it in public, then go home and jump into bed with the latest cancer weeper.

McDaniel was the Jacqueline Wilson of sick lit. She was prolific, releasing 75 YA novels in her 35-year career, starting with 1982’s Will I Ever Dance Again? and followed by a litany of others with equally on-the-nose titles: Too Young To Die, A Time To Die, Please Don’t Die, Sixteen And Dying, She Died Too Young. You get the idea. McDaniel didn’t invent the tragic-teen narrative (I see you, Beth March!) but she is typically credited with turning it into a genre — and a highly profitable one at that. McDaniel’s books sold millions of copies and most are still in print today, their dreamy pastel covers given a fresh, modern facelift. Each book had minor variations, but they followed a fairly standard formula: A beautiful teenage girl with her whole life ahead of her is derailed by a devastating illness — either her own or that of someone close to her. If the protagonist herself was sick, then she would survive to the end of the novel, having learned some valuable lesson (and fallen in love with a super hot and compassionate guy — another McDaniel trope). If it was her friend, sibling or boyfriend battling the disease, then that character would probably bite the dust and our heroine would learn her life lesson through their death. Oh, and find love too, obvs.

Most of McDaniel’s medical tragedies centred on kids suffering from cancer. Often it was a brain tumour or leukaemia — a cancer that often affects young people and was far less treatable in the 1990s than it is today. (Thus, in pop culture, leukaemia had become the tuberculosis of its time: "the romantic disease " that stole innocent lives and offered "almost symptomless, unfrightened, beatific deaths," as Susan Sontag wrote.) Leukaemia was McDaniel’s bread and butter, but she did branch out occasionally. Some of her characters needed organ transplants or suffered from cystic fibrosis. Others struggled to manage their diabetes. But most readers (myself included) preferred her hopeless cases. They — okay, we — wanted to feel the exquisite agony of a life snuffed out by a mysterious plague, not grim realities of managing a chronic disease you might actually survive. As my fellow sick-lit fan Margaret Lyons reflected in 2014: "The books about diabetics were, at best, a last resort."

Occasionally, McDaniel dabbled in HIV/AIDS narratives, which now come off as preeeeeetty uncomfortable. See, for example, Baby Alicia Is Dying, which follows a wealthy young white girl whose heart is opened when she takes care of an abandoned black baby, born with HIV. The jacket copy reads: "Desi thinks it's totally unfair that innocent baby Alicia was born HIV positive. [She] can relate to feeling unloved. Her parents give her all the material things she needs, but there seems to be a wall between her mother and herself." From baby Alicia, Desi finally feels the love she’s been missing from her rich, generous but emotionally distant mum — yet Alicia is not her child, and she must let her go. "Can Desi cope with the harsh realities and still believe in love?" Spoiler: Yes! She can! Baby Alicia’s horrific death eventually brings Desi closer to her mother (and her super hot and compassionate science lab partner, Brian).

This is just one of many things we’d now identify as problematic or just plain weird about McDaniel’s books — and, really, any sick-lit stories. It’s a messed-up genre that romanticises and trivialises some of life’s most gruesome realities, exploiting our deepest traumas and fears. On the other hand, we love that shit. Not just macabre little tweens, but all of us. Melodramatic "crying and dying" tales have been one of the most enduring genres of popular entertainment since ancient Greece.

This is, of course, the central question that sick lit begs: What is it that all of us, children and adults, get out of these harrowing tales? Are we using them to grapple with our own mortality? Is it a form of healthy catharsis? Or are we all just a bunch of sickos getting our kicks? Personally, I think it's mostly the latter, and no one wants to admit it. As journalist Michelle Slatalla wrote of sick lit in 2009, "...today’s tear-jerkers are a new example of an age-old fascination with other people’s problems, the modern equivalent of going to the opera to see a tortured Tosca leap to her death from the Castel Sant’ Angelo." Sick lit pushes the most painful emotional buttons in our brains without actually forcing us to experience the much, much greater pain of living the reality. Horror movies and haunted houses do the same thing, letting us have a tiny taste of sheer terror though we know the whole time that we're safe. Pain, like pleasure, provides an endorphin rush, and humans have been using entertainment to chase that high for thousands of years. In the fifth century, we wept at Greek tragedies. Today, we've got Netflix and Grey's Anatomy.

The Fault In Our Stars ended with nothing but the agonising truth that life goes on, and then it ends. Love doesn’t change any of that.

In the 1950s, there was Death Be Not Proud. In the '60s, there was A Separate Peace. The '70s gave us Love Story — the wildly popular book, movie and song. These books (all written by men, by the by) are considered far more literary and important than McDaniel’s — and while the former point is absolutely true, I don’t think it’s fair to brush aside her work as totally meaningless fluff. Glaring flaws and all, these stories touched a generation of kids who found some kind of unnamable satisfaction in her tragic medical dramas. Those same kids then grew up to read Jodi Picoult and Jacquelyn Mitchard — and, of course, John Green.

Without McDaniel, none of these books would have a place on the bookshelf. It was she who proved there was a market for fiction like this. Decades before 13 Reasons Why, McDaniel was writing about the ripple effect of suicide in When Happily Ever After Ends. In Time To Let Go, she wrote about adolescent PTSD, and in A Time To Die she explored the painful isolation of teenage love and CF. We don’t like to think about children having dark, complex emotions or thinking about these things — but of course they do. For every adult who likes a rom-com there’s someone who prefers to weep through Beaches and Steel Magnolias, and the same is true for kids. McDaniel spoke to those kids directly, and in language they could understand. Was it good writing? No! Not at all! But as McDaniel herself said last year, when she announced her retirement from YA, "I am not a great writer. I just know how to write a story that will touch the heart."

That’s really what sick lit is all about. That’s why we roll our eyes at it in public, then go home and jump into bed with the latest cancer weeper. That’s why we devoured it as kids but never waxed nostalgic about it as adults — not the way we do with The Baby-Sitters Club or R.L. Stine. Sick lit exists simply to stimulate and poke at our deepest, ickiest emotions. It doesn’t have to be literary or cool. It’s feelings porn, and porn is embarrassing — but everybody’s seen it.

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Two Women Have Now Accused Joe Biden Of Inappropriate Touching

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Joe Biden’s presumptive presidential campaign is already facing its first crisis. Former congressional aide Amy Lappos told the Hartford Courant on Monday that Biden touched her inappropriately, including rubbing noses with her, at a political fundraiser in 2009. The allegations follow an essay for The Cut by former Nevada Democratic legislator Lucy Flores in which she said the former vice president behaved inappropriately toward her at a campaign event in 2014.

"It wasn’t sexual, but he did grab me by the head," Lappos said. "He put his hand around my neck and pulled me in to rub noses with me. When he was pulling me in, I thought he was going to kiss me on the mouth."

The allegations echo Flores' experience, which she described in her essay, published Friday. "I felt him get closer to me from behind. He leaned further in and inhaled my hair. I was mortified," Flores wrote. "I thought to myself, I didn’t wash my hair today and the vice president of the United States is smelling it. And also, what in the actual fuck? Why is the vice president of the United States smelling my hair? He proceeded to plant a big, slow kiss on the back of my head."

Flores said that while she’s not suggesting the encounter qualified as sexual harassment or as a criminal act, it was still out of line for the vice president to touch her, a relative stranger, in such an intimate way while in a professional setting.

In a statement responding to Flores' essay on Sunday, Biden said that he didn’t believe he had acted inappropriately, but that he will listen to women’s experiences. "In my many years on the campaign trail and in public life, I have offered countless handshakes, hugs, expressions of affection, support, and comfort," he said. "And not once — never — did I believe I acted inappropriately. If it is suggested I did so, I will listen respectfully. But it was never my intention." His team has not addressed Lappos' allegations.

Lucy FloresPhoto: John Locher/AP/Shutterstock.

No one has been exactly shocked at the charges against Biden. In fact, it has been somewhat of an open secret that good, ol' "Uncle Joe" has behaved creepily throughout the years — from whispering into women's and girls’ ears to kissing them in a similar manner to the way Flores said he kissed her. His camp alleges that some of the photos of him with women have been taken out of context — a point that was supported by Stephanie Carter, the wife of former Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter. In a Medium essay published Sunday, Carter wrote that a photo of Biden putting his hands on her shoulders was a moment between close friends, and that it has been misinterpreted. Flores responded to this by saying that unlike Carter, she didn't have an existing relationship with Biden when he allegedly invaded her personal space.

Several Democratic presidential candidates have said they believe Flores. Sen. Elizabeth Warren said Biden “needs to give an answer” about the incident, while Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand said: “Lucy Flores felt demeaned, and that is never okay. If Vice President Biden becomes a candidate, this is a topic he’ll have to engage on further.” Julián Castro said that the American people must decide whether the allegations should disqualify Biden, while Washington Gov. Jay Inslee said it’s crucial to take these types of allegations seriously. Sen. Bernie Sanders said that he has "no reason not to believe Flores," who is a supporter of his, and that the incident speaks to "the need to fundamentally change the culture of this country." He did, however, add that he's "not sure that one incident alone disqualifies anybody."

Both women said that their experiences with Biden felt like an unwelcome invasion of their personal space, one that should not be acceptable. "The transgressions that society deems minor (or doesn’t even see as transgressions) often feel considerable to the person on the receiving end," Flores wrote in her essay. "That imbalance of power and attention is the whole point — and the whole problem."

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What Tarot Can Tell You About Your Love Life

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There are many ways to read tarot — the practice of drawing cards from a tarot deck to find guidance in your life. The cards can give insight into your career, the year ahead, and, yes, your love life. We talked to two tarot readers to learn what reading tarot can tell us about love. Keep in mind that there are many tarot traditions, so different tarot readers may have different approaches.

Katelyn Lemay, founder of Heuristic Tarot, explains, “The cliché I use is it’s a mirror, not a crystal ball. When I read for people, I always tell them, 'I’m not going to tell you when you’re going to meet the love of your life or if he has red hair. It’s more useful to make it about you and the things you can control.'” Instead of asking, When am I going to meet the love of my life? she suggests asking, What can I do to open myself up to the possibility of a relationship? or even What qualities should I be looking for in a partner?

Tess Giberson, aka the City Witch, has a similar philosophy. “I think it’s so much more helpful when we use it as a tool for self-reflection,” they say. Questions they suggest reading tarot for include: What is my role in this relationship? How am I showing up for the other person? How can I become more open to receiving love? How can I learn to set boundaries in a relationship? and even, simply, What should I be focusing on in my relationship?

Giberson also says that they don’t read tarot for someone who’s not there. “It’s one thing if two people, or a polyamorous group of people, came in and asked for a reading and everyone was present. But ethically, as someone who reads tarot as a vocation, I would never read cards for someone who isn’t present in the room,” they explain. “I feel like that really violates someone’s autonomy and consent.” Instead of asking, Is my partner going to break up with me? you could ask, How can I productively discuss our relationship challenges with my partner?

Professional tarot readers may do a reading that involves many cards laid out in a specific spread, and while you can certainly have your cards read by a professional, you can also do your own reading at home — even if you’re a beginner. “There is a myth you should never read for yourself, and I don’t think that’s true,” Lemay says. “I think the only thing to be careful of is falling into the trap of only seeing what you want to see, or saying, I don’t think this card applies to me let me, draw another one and use that instead.”

Giberson suggests beginning your reading by setting an intention. They favour visualising an energy shower and imagining themselves with tree roots as part of a grounding ritual, followed by an invocation calling on guardians, guides, ancestors, and spirits — but they add that setting an intention could be as simple as “turning your phone off, opening a window, and taking a few breaths of fresh air. It’s anything that makes you feel really present and grounded and centred.”

Next, you ask your question and draw your cards — again, there are many ways to do this, but one way Giberson suggests is spreading the cards on a table and choosing ones to which you feel a connection. They feel a vibration in their hands, but for others, it’s more of a gut feeling. For beginners, Giberson recommends drawing three cards and reflecting on their meaning.

“Some things people can look at include looking at how the cards reflect each other, the relationships between the cards that come up, and the element that comes up the most,” Giberson says. They add that you can also examine the numerology of the cards (“for example, if you pull four cards and three out of the four cards are sixes, I would look at what numerology says about the number six”), recurring symbols, what the card means traditionally, what the card means to you, the predominant colours and how they relate to colour theory or chakras, and how the living beings represented on the card interact in the spread.

Feel free to consult reference materials or even Google to help you decipher the possible meanings. And if this all sounds complicated, you can also start with a single card — and keep in mind that, as Giberson says, “because every tarot reader is different, there’s no one right or wrong way to read tarot.”

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We Tried 5 Edible DIY Hair Masks – Here Are The Results

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When it comes to hair products, we're spoilt for choice. There are overnight serums which take lacklustre strands and make them glossy while you sleep, sprays for achieving gravity-defying volume, and hair masks for breathing life into overprocessed lengths ravaged by bleach. But instead of raiding Space NK for our next fix, we looked a little closer to home. Our kitchen cupboards, to be exact.

You only have to scroll through Pinterest for a few minutes to see that DIY haircare remedies are huge. Recipes containing everything from banana and egg white to avocado and apple cider vinegar are becoming popular with the eco-friendly, skin sensitive and experimental among us. But before you roll your eyes, there's method in the mixing. These concoctions are easy to whip up, pretty cheap (if you use leftovers from your breakfast) and you get to control the ingredients you're putting on your scalp and hair.

Five R29 staffers tried five at-home haircare remedies. Here are the results...

Sheloa Nichols, director of content production

DIY Remedy:Apple cider vinegar

Verdict: I have to say I was wholly unprepared for the effect apple cider vinegar, or ACV (as it’s known online) would have on my hair. Seriously I am shook. SHOOK, I tell you. First of all, you are supposed to 'rinse' your hair with it after you shampoo. I confess, while I had mixed it with some water as directed, I had not thought through the rinsing part, so I simply poured it over my head as delicately as possible…and immediately had the sensation that I had given my virgin hair its first shot of bottom shelf tequila. The BURN, people! If you're ever wondering where you might have had a small spot on your hairline, I assure you pouring apple cider vinegar on your head will pinpoint its exact follicular location.

The sensation and the smell actually took my breath away. However, and this is very important, the shock was momentary and I tell you it was worth it! After catching my breath I left it in for a few mins as directed (cue body scrub) and then proceeded to rinse it out. Honestly my hair felt like it had grown anew on my head – as I was rinsing it out I was amazed. My hair has never felt so silky in the shower. I have two young nieces and I’ve helped out at bath-time so I have a very recent reference for how youthful my hair feels. Apple cider vinegar is like a hair youth serum!

After I rinsed out the apple cider vinegar I mixed a little of my shampoo and conditioner together just to give my hair a little moisture and to combat any remaining smell (I didn’t want to put anything on it because it felt so awesome but thought it was better to be safe). The result is super shiny and bouncy hair. I am definitely working this into my regime on a weekly basis! And after it dried, there was no smell. True story.

Serena Brown, art intern

DIY remedy: Egg white and olive oil

Verdict: My usual haircare routine changes so much because my hair has a mind of its own depending on the weather. I usually shampoo my curls with either Cantu Sulphate-Free Cleansing Cream Shampoo or OGX Extra Strength Damage Remedy + Coconut Miracle Oil Shampoo. Both are really good at rehydrating my hair which can get quite dry, especially when it’s cold.

I mixed one egg into a bowl with a few slugs of olive oil and attempted to scoop it up with my hand and fling it on my hair without getting raw egg all over my bedroom floor. But as you can probably guess, I got raw egg all over my bedroom floor. After squelching the egg and olive oil into my hair, I left it on for about 15 minutes and washed it off in the shower. It was actually quite tricky to completely wash out as it had really stuck onto my hair. My hair didn’t really smell bad afterwards but I still washed it with some shampoo in case I’d just gotten used to the smell of egg.

After using my usual products to style my hair, surprisingly I’d say the hair mask really did work. My hair felt much more glossy and a lot less dry but I think this has a lot to do with my hair texture. I don't think this would work as well with those who don't have Afro hair. The results were great but I’m not too sure I could get used to putting egg on my head and feeling normal about it...

Annika Kanwal, campaign manager

DIY remedy: Champagne

Verdict: I’m currently sporting a long, thick black mane but haircare is not one of my strengths. In fact, I’d say my normal hair regime is pretty basic. I tend to switch between Head & Shoulders and L'Oréal Elvive Extraordinary Oil Shampoo and Conditioner, depending what’s on offer. I find Head & Shoulders is really good for cleaning my hair and making it look refreshed, while L'Oréal Elvive gives me a nice sleek shine and a soft feel. Switching between the two gives me a good balance and keeps my hair looking healthy.

Washing my hair with champagne was definitely an upgrade to my usual routine. Once I popped the champers in the shower, the smell was great. Trying to manoeuvre pouring a bottle of champagne onto my hair was not without its difficulties, however. Alcohol in my eyes totally ruined my champagne shower moment. I used about a quarter of the bottle and the champagne felt smooth in my hair, which made it quite silky. It was easy to wash out.

After washing, I towel-dried the excess then blow-dried my hair. Once dry, the texture of my hair did feel soft on the lower parts but I felt my roots were greasy. I didn’t have the rejuvenated feel I was hoping for. I think I’ll be sticking to drinking champagne rather than washing my hair with it next time. And yes I did drink the rest of the bottle.

Natalie Gil, senior news writer

DIY Remedy: Avocado and banana

Verdict: My current haircare routine can't really be described as a 'routine'. I wash it too often (every other day – blame the gym), with any old shampoo and conditioner to hand, i.e. not one tailored to my hair type, and I always forget to use hair masks. I couldn't even tell you the name of the brand I'm currently using – all I know is it's coconut scented – so I was excited to give my hair some much-needed TLC.

My first impressions of the avo and banana mask were good: it looked and smelled like one of my favourite smoothies! And it made me feel smug because #wellness. But then things went downhill. I didn't mash the mixture up enough, so huge chunks of food plopped onto my shower floor as I applied it to my ends, clogging up my drain, while the rest (somehow) found its way onto the walls. After a few minutes, I washed it all out (or so I thought). There were huge chunks of banana on my brush as I brushed my soaking wet hair, but I didn't have time to rinse it again so I went to bed with plaits to contain the mess as much as possible. The following morning, my hair was greasier and frizzier than usual and I smelled like a fruit and veg stall – and I still haven't managed to scrape the crusty banana off my bathroom wall.

Jacqueline Kilikita, beauty editor

DIY remedy: Beer

Verdict: I’ve heard that a beer rinse takes dull lengths and makes them glossy, and seeing as my biggest beauty goal is to achieve hair so shiny, you need to wear sunglasses to look at it, I was intrigued. Right now I'm using TRESemme Colour Shineplex Shampoo, which is low in sulphates to keep hair healthy and soft, KMS Moist Repair Conditioner, which in my opinion is the best frizz-fighting product, and Redken Extreme Cat Treatment to counteract the straightener abuse.

I figured a treatment might be a little bit too much this time, so after a shampoo and a light condition I cracked open a can of Heineken (don’t judge my choice of tipple) and doused my hair in it, massaging the frothy bubbles into my scalp, mid-lengths and roots. I let it do its thing while I shaved my legs and then rinsed it out well. My hair felt cleaner than usual, actually, which might be testament to the fizz. But instead of the mirror shine I’d hoped for, all I got was the stale smell of a two-day hangover (blow-drying made the stench worse) and knotty ends.

I refused to put straighteners over it and I just couldn’t go to bed like that, so I jumped back in the shower and gave it another quick shampoo, literally 30 seconds. While beer isn't that great for shine in my opinion, it did feel like it gave my scalp a deep cleanse, and as someone who is prone to flakes, I appreciate that. When it comes to glossiness, I'll be sticking to tried and tested treatments next time. Hari's Hairdressers is my go-to.

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How I Learned To Love My Sideburns

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In the spring of 2015, sideburns had a fashion moment. Models at Marni strode the catwalk with hair slicked back like David Bowie in his Thin White Duke days, a few greasy, matted tendrils plastered to their cheeks. Leandra Medine pondered whether the sideburn might be the new side boob, Alexa Chung was papped with strands of hair in front of her ears and – boom! – a trend was declared.

Deep in the south London suburbs, where the only catwalk anyone cared about was the strip of pavement outside Wimpy, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, deliberating. Hair up, hair down. Hair up, hair down. It is a strange thing when an aspect of your appearance that has always bothered you becomes suddenly fashionable. The urge is to cast off your hang-ups, the accumulated smirks and self-consciousness, and dash into the street, exclaiming: "Look! LOOK! I am stylish! I am on trend! And I haven't had to do a thing!" Of course it is not that simple.

My sideburns are not the delicate, wispy kind; they do not float ethereally around my face. Rather they are thick and dark, slithering down either cheek and curling beneath my jaw like the waxed tips of a gentleman's moustache. Too long to pass unnoticed, never long enough to tuck behind my ears; closer in substance to Abe Lincoln's whiskers or Bradley Wiggins' mutton chops.

As a teenager I grew so aware of my sideburns that I began to trim them with a pair of nail scissors, eventually graduating to a pink disposable razor pilfered from my mum's dressing table. I stopped only when a school friend cracked a joke about my stubble. From then on I wore my hair down as often as possible, save for at the gym where, I reasoned, my bright red face was enough to distract from the fur on my cheeks. Nonetheless, if I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the changing room mirror, I was dismayed by what I saw: unflattering, unfeminine, ungroomed.

Because despite those promising few weeks in 2015, sideburns did not catch on. They were never going to. In mainstream fashion, women are often encouraged to play against their prettiness, to muss up their femininity – a boxy jacket here, a heavy angular brow there – but temporarily, and within reason. A trend by its nature is wipe clean; take it off and – ta da! – there is the woman underneath. There is a world of difference between arranging a few strands of hair in front of your ears to emulate a catwalk look and the boy you fancy tugging on your face-huggers and asking if you've considered having them removed.

It is 2019 but anything that blurs too greatly the distinction between 'masculine' and 'feminine' still makes a lot of people uncomfortable. It is why googling 'women with sideburns' returns articles advocating dubious methods of hair removal (turmeric! papaya! potatoes!) and a Reddit thread asking us gals with 'very noticeable' sideburns how we 'deal' with them. It is why the sideburn did not become the new side boob – an overspill of breast and an overgrowth of hair are suggestive to the male gaze in entirely different ways.

If popular culture was not going to provide me with examples of women flaunting their big hairy sideburns, then I was going to have to get over my insecurities on my own. Easier said than done. I began wearing my hair up again but cringed, still, when a friend posted a picture on Instagram that captured my face in profile. As I got older and the dark hairs crept further across my cheeks, I calculated the possibility of laser removal. It was only – and I realise that writing this makes me a 'bad' feminist – when I mentioned that possibility to my boyfriend, who replied "Why do you want to do that? I think your sideburns are lovely," that I began to consider an alternate perspective. One that wasn't filtered through my anxiety but through the eyes of someone who cared about me.

It is not very fashionable these days to admit to needing reassurance. Women are exhorted to celebrate every inch of themselves – the hairy bits, the lumpy bits, the not-the-same-size-as-everyone-else's bits – and I sometimes think that the pressure to do so is as crippling as the fear and self-consciousness that drive us to shrink out of the spotlight in the first place. Often we require a kind word or an unsolicited compliment to drag us out of the well of our anxiety.

Please do not misunderstand me. This is neither an attempt to elicit sympathy nor the launch of a #sideburnspositivity movement. Sideburns are sideburns. We all have them. Mine are simply more prominent than most, and our prominent features tend to become the site of all our insecurities. Confronting those insecurities is difficult; the slightest encouragement can make an enormous difference. I learned to love my sideburns in the end and not because my boyfriend loves them. I love them because he helped me to see them in a different light. To think of them as something other than 'mutton chops'.

Photographed by Meg O'Donnell

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The Brand Behind The Coolest Hair Trends On Instagram Has Landed In The UK

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From gemlights and midlights to stained glass hair and shadow tones, there are heaps of innovative hair colour trends out there at the moment. And while they are created by different salons and colourists across the globe, they were probably inspired by one hair colour brand in particular: Pulp Riot.

Founded at Butterfly Loft salon in California by Alexis and David Thurston, Pulp Riot is the fastest growing, most engaged hair product brand on Instagram (you only have to take a glimpse at their grid to see why), and after years of taking the US market by storm, the brand is now available at salons in the UK.

"When we first launched, we were the most well-known salon on social media for creating mermaid hair," Alexis told R29. "Since then, we have come up through the beauty community on Instagram, and I guess that's what makes us different." Authenticity is at the heart of Pulp Riot, which allowed them to crack the popularity code in a market saturated with hair colour brands. In fact, every single product, from the 16 semi-permanent colours to toners and developers, is created and tested by hairstylists in salon first. "There is zero degrees of separation between the people creating the products and people using it," added Alexis. "It's literally born in salon. Not in a lab, not in an office. And that's how we know everything works really well."

Every single product in the line is natural, vegan, gluten- and cruelty-free, a surefire hit with Pulp Riot's mostly millennial fanbase. But David wants you to know that this doesn't mean the products are second-rate. "Five years ago, when you used natural hair colour, you were giving up quality in exchange for less of a carbon footprint. But now, technology and ingredients are good enough and we’re not giving up anything." Instead, Pulp Riot products consist of a quinoa base, which stylists and colourists are touting as the new 'superfood' for coloured or over-processed hair.

"Quinoa delivers protein (great for strengthening and smoothing strands) and much-needed moisture, which is what dyed hair really needs, especially when bleach has taken its toll and caused dryness, fluffiness and breakage," said David. The way the colour fades is important, too. Pinks don't turn salmon and greens don't end up muddy. "We don't really talk about how to make colour last, but how to make it fade well, because essentially, that's what colour will do. Each colour fades into a slightly lighter colour than it already is, which means much less top-ups."

Accessibility is also what sets Pulp Riot apart from other hair colour brands, with the Education tab on their website leading you to step-by-step tutorials and clever tips from colourists at salons across the US. This is especially helpful considering lots of us are ditching in-salon appointments for DIY touch-ups. "Contrary to popular belief, if you're dyeing your hair at home, the best thing to do is apply colour to clean, dry hair," advised Alexis. "Leave the colour on for 40 minutes and then rinse it out."

Another big mistake most people make is shampooing the colour out. "You don’t need to," continued Alexis. "Most colour is conditioner based, and you don’t shampoo out conditioner, right? If you’re shampooing, you’re rubbing all the dye molecules around. So if you want rainbow colour or a colour melt, for example, you’re just messing it all up. Cool water will also make hair colour last much longer. This is for every wash, not just the initial rinse. We have cuticles on our hair and in hot water, they tend to open, which allows the colour to escape. You'll want to use a colour-safe sulphate-free shampoo, too."

And seeing as most hair colour trends are born from Pulp Riot, which looks can we expect to be big for summer 2019? "Neon coral is huge at the moment and I almost feel like Pantone chose it because we’ve pushed that colour so hard," laughed Alexis. "We can also expect to see lots of rainbow baby lights. It’s not rainbow hair as we know it. Instead of crazy colour, it's a cool holographic look that is multi-tonal, wearable and kind of like a mood ring. It’s about strategically placed rainbow colours, but in between said hues it’s all solid colour, such as blonde. Depending on how you move your hair, whether you put it in a braid or a ponytail, it’ll look different every time."

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10 Eco-Friendly Homeware Buys That Will Also Save You Money

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Of course you want to be eco-friendly in your home. You know what damage single-use plastics, food waste and overuse of chemicals are doing to the environment. David Attenborough's talking about it, the kids are taking to the street because of it. Our planet is in dire need of our help.

Because our lives are busy though, and because the products we're accustomed to using every day weren't designed with Earth-friendly principles in mind, it can be hard to always keep green in mind and in practice. So what if there were another incentive to help you stay on track – something like saving money?

Ahead, we've listed 10 super smart inventions you can use in your home which, yes, will be good for the environment but will also save you loads of cash in the long run.

Anything we've missed? Any suggestions for your favourite eco-friendly, money-saving items? Let us know in the comments.

Use this egg instead of laundry powder or detergent. No, really. Just stick it in with your clothes and set the washing machine going. It actually works too – leaving your clothes clean and smelling delicious.

Plus, £13 (there are even cheaper options if you go down a real internet hole) for an egg that lasts for 210 washes is a bargain – that's 16p a wash compared to nearly £1 a wash for some of the more expensive washing pods. You're practically being paid to do your laundry.



EcoEgg Laundry Egg, $9.99, available at Robert Dyas

For some people, kitchen roll is a household staple. If that's you, consider switching up your paper towels for this reusable kitchen roll. Not only are these towels more absorbent than average paper towels, they can be washed and reused 100 times each. Which means that for around £13, you're essentially purchasing 100 rolls which, even at the very reasonable price of 50p each, would still set you back £50.



panDoo Bamboo Kitchen Roll, $13.27, available at Amazon

Ditch single-use sandwich bags, clingfilm, tin foil and the rest and instead invest in these beeswax wraps, which can be used to keep all sorts of things fresh – from bread to cheese, fruit to leftovers. Because they're beeswax, the wraps mould easily around your food. You can keep using these wraps for, well, ever, which means that eventually you'll save money instead of buying wasteful alternatives.



Two White Bears Beeswax Wrap | Set of 4 Reusable Wax Wraps for Food, $13.75, available at Amazon

How many bananas do you end up eating compared to the number you throw away when they inevitably go bad? These discs – each lasts up to three months – absorb the gas which speeds up the decay process, which means less food waste and more money saved on account of having to buy fewer bananas.



EcoEgg Fresher For Longer Discs, $5.99, available at Amazon

Those of you with cats will know the guilt of using those individual pouches of cat food. They're so easy, so convenient, so not messy – but so wasteful.

Instead, consider changing to tinned cat food. It's SO much cheaper (£1.88 per kg compared to £2.71 per kg) and, with this handy can cover, you can pop the half-used tin back in your fridge without the cat food stinking the place out.



BeCo Beco Can Cover, $1.99, available at Natural Collection

Using makeup wipes every night can be costly, both to your bank account and the environment. Not only are cotton pads contributing to the spectacularly big fatberg that's no doubt lurking under the very ground we walk on, the non-organic cotton farming industry is harmful to the planet, too. Current cotton farming methods use more pesticides than any other agricultural production.

At the same price(ish) as a regular pack, these washable and reusable pads pay for themselves in just one use.



Tabitha Eve Make-Up Remover Cloth Rounds, $3, available at The Wise House

The common synthetic kitchen sponge isn't biodegradable and will sit forever in landfill once you're done with it. Depending on how and where it was made, it may also have released environment-harming chemicals as a byproduct.

This bamboo sponge lasts for ages – just chuck it in the wash when it gets dirty. When it does eventually give up the ghost, it can be cut up into little pieces and composted. And at £4 a sponge, it won't take long for you to save on the cost of synthetic sponges.



Tabitha Eve None Sponge Set of 2 - Busy Bees, $8, available at The Wise House

Ideal for wiping down surfaces, these biodegradable cloths can be washed for multi-use and won't clog up landfill after use. One pack costs roughly as much as three packs of disposable cloths but will last much, much longer.



Jangneus Cloths - Red - Pack of 4, $9.94, available at Ethical Superstore

For the difficult stains. This washable and reusable cloth will scrub away stains and the like without even needing washing up liquid, meaning that by buying this you'll not only save on buying future sponges, you'll save on buying cleaning liquids too.

How it works is something to do with the pad collecting dirt in its fibres instead of simply "pushing it along", but either way – not shelling out for Fairy Liquid will happily save you a few pennies (and plastic bottles) along the way.



e-cloth Washing Up Pad, $2.99, available at Ethical Superstore

However many people you're cooking for, there will always be a rogue half onion, courgette or potato that was simply too much to add into the meal you're making. You could just chuck it away (creating food waste) or you could wrap it in clingfilm or foil to keep it fresh (creating non-biodegradable waste). OR you could purchase these silicone food savers and keep your half-used veg around for your next delicious creation.



Robert Dyas Kitchen Craft Silicone Food Huggers – Set of 4, $6.99, available at Robert Dyas

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"You're Just Kooky": Women Who Were Diagnosed With Autism Later In Life

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"You're just a shy girl" was one of many things Dr Sarah Bargiela heard from autistic women who weren't diagnosed until later in life. "You're too poor at maths to be autistic" was another.

Autism has long been thought of as a "male" issue – a neurodevelopmental condition usually diagnosed in young boys which affects social interaction. More recently though, there is a growing worry that there are "thousands" of girls and women who are also going undiagnosed. As Professor Francesca Happé of King's College London told the Guardian in September: "We’ve overlooked autism in women and girls and I think there’s a real gender equality issue here." The rate of diagnoses of boys compared to girls is roughly 3:1.

The implications of this gender gap are real for those women affected by it. And it's something Dr Bargiela, a clinical psychologist, is working to address. After conducting her doctoral research into women and autism (you can read her paper on late-diagnosed women with autism here), she teamed up with illustrator Sophie Standing to help bring to life the experiences of the women she worked with. The result is Camouflage, a graphic novel aiming to provide visual context to the thoughts and words of autistic women. The women, depicted in Standing's colourful illustration style, describe how and why they had to wait so long to be diagnosed, the years they spent trying to "fit in", wondering why they were "different" from other girls. They speak candidly about how this isolation affected them as they became adults and how they are learning to embrace themselves, expand their communities and move forward.

Autism affects an estimated one in 100 people in the UK and while every person with autism is far from the same, it is generally accepted that it can cause "difficulty with social communication and interaction" and "repetitive behaviour, routines and activities". Many people with autism may have a special interest – a subject they know inside out. Ironically, this hindered the diagnosis of one of the women featured in Camouflage: "I was told 'all girls like ponies, that's not a special interest' which wasn't true. I knew far more about ponies than anyone else in the riding school."

For Dr Bargiela, the way we diagnose women with autism is flawed. "I was working with a 10-year-old girl who had lots of features of autism but when we used the diagnostic tools that are available, she didn’t score up," she explains. Even though it became very clear that this girl was autistic, she was unable to get her official diagnosis. This meant that she was unable to get extra support in school. "The diagnostic tools... a lot of them have been tested out first on large male populations with smaller numbers of girls so they’re actually much better at identifying autism in males and less sensitive to identifying autism in females.

How the two differ (and they are by no means scientifically defined) stems in large part from how we expect girls and boys to socialise themselves growing up. "Girls are much better at 'fitting in' and wanting to fit in," explains Dr Bargiela. "There’s real social motivation for girls to want to appear 'normal'." Society, she says, expects girls to behave in a certain way: be chatty, easy to communicate with. As a result, many autistic girls learn to live behind a mask as they adopt the social behaviour of their peers. One woman told Dr Bargiela about picking up an Irish accent at a Girl Guide camp that took a week to disappear, so strong was her urge to mimic what others did around her. Another woman told her that she would get so exhausted after presenting her "not me" face in social situations, she’d have to go and lie down in a room alone to recover.

This of course can play havoc with mental health. "[It can leave autistic women] really unsure of their identities," contributing to feelings of anxiety, Dr Bargiela explains. She says there are high levels of depression, which can come from the individual feeling like they don’t fit in. "It’s very isolating and can be very lonely. Being unsure of who [their] social circle is, [asking] 'Who can I have an honest conversation with?'... It’s important not to generalise women but from the women I interviewed, anxiety was pretty high and so were levels of depression."

Courtesy of Jessica Kingsley Publishers

What becomes clear through Dr Bargiela's interviews is how much impact camouflaging has had on them. One woman recalls trying to "act normal" as she saw that it meant you were generally ignored by teachers. "Now, I look at stories online of kids who were going off the rail and think 'I should have just burned more cars'." When it comes to dating or intimate relationships, the struggle becomes more urgent. "In relationships it was difficult, because no one ever tells you the rules, or what is appropriate or not. I knew I was taken advantage of many times," one woman told Dr Bargiela. Another remembers conceding to everything in a relationship. "There was a sense of appearing, 'please, appease and apologise'," she recalled. Sex, of course, complicates things further. "I almost feel pressured by society to have sex because you get told this is what is expected of you to be a good girlfriend and you think, 'If I don’t do it, then I am not fulfilling my duties.'"

"It’s the perfect storm," explains Dr Bargiela. "Autistic women find it harder in social situations but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to fit in. If you’ve constantly been rejected and then someone is showing you interest, that’s a nice feeling on a very basic human level." Unfortunately, not every person showing romantic interest in a woman has that woman's best interests at heart. Generally creepy behaviour from potential partners is a minefield. Everyone is struggling to understand and recognise red flags as they evolve and progress in the digital age, and the #MeToo movement has shone a light on a host of creepy actions towards women that were, up until now, thought of as "just the way things are". It's hard for all women – both neurotypical and neuroatypical – but for an autistic woman, who may not have a social circle around her to protect her, or be unsure in her own identity due to camouflaging, it could be impossible. Dr Bargiela recommends The Independent Woman's Handbook for Super Safe Living on the Autistic Spectrum by Robyn Steward. "It’s really good for things like, 'It's okay to say no, it doesn’t make you a bad girlfriend if you don’t want sex'."

In the last few years, there's been a huge uptick in the presentation of autism in popular culture; books like The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and The Rosie Project, and TV shows like Netflix's Atypical have done wonders to further the conversation around autism. But few atypical female heroes have been available. Sofia Helin, the actor who played Saga in the brilliant Danish/Swedish noir The Bridge, has spoken often in interviews of women who approached her to let her know that it was her performance of a woman with Asperger's syndrome – which is on the autism spectrum – that led them to realise that they had the condition. So what would Dr Bargiela recommend if reading Camouflage throws up some flickers of recognition about your identity? The next steps, she says, are entirely in your hands. "Everyone is so different," she says. "Do you feel like a diagnosis will help you understand yourself? Do you feel like a diagnosis will help your friends and family understand you better? Or that you will get better support in your employment? If that’s the case, then definitely pursue one if you think it would make you happy."

Courtesy of Jessica Kingsley Publishers

For many of the women she interviewed, it was embracing their special interest that helped them form communities or find solace. "I'm really into biplanes and vintage aircrafts," one woman said. "It all started from an idea for a story I wanted to write and illustrate about a female chartered pilot... Then I wanted to learn how to draw a biplane. I've now learnt how to identify planes by sight, having read about how they were used, and also got really into WWI... Now every time I see a biplane it brings me so much joy." Others cited interests in crafting, archaeology, music and boats.

"Maybe you’ll be happier knowing that this is who you are," Dr Bargiela muses. "Maybe it will help you understand yourself better – or give you some terminology to explain [your thoughts]." All she hopes is that Camouflage provides the vocabulary for women to be able to say: "I recognise myself in this and I want to be able to speak out about it."

Camouflage: The Hidden Lives of Autistic Women by Dr Sarah Bargiela, art by Sophie Standing, is out now from Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

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How To Wear Tie-Dye In Real Life, According To R29's Junior Fashion Editor

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Once the preserve of the peace-loving children of the '60s and Californian salty-haired surfers, tie-dye has undergone somewhat of a transformation this season. For spring/summer 2019, we'll all be dressing like scumbros Justin Bieber, Jonah Hill and Pete Davidson thanks to labels spanning Aries and Ashley Williams, Topshop and Prada going all-in on the homespun DIY print.

But what if you don't live in LA and swear by CBD oil? How can you incorporate the revival if you have a slightly more put-together approach to style? What if the thought of psychedelic rainbow hues brings you out in hives? The SS19 catwalks refreshed the trend in a plethora of ways, from paying homage to the OG hippy aesthetic to a sleek (and dare we say office-appropriate) take on tie-dye.

Here's how I wore the playful trend, three different ways. Cowabunga, dudes!

Pastels, Please

If you're looking for a softer, more palatable approach to tie-dye, pastel hues are the answer. Collina Strada nailed it with peaches, lilacs and sky blue, while MSGM went for blush, sherbet yellow and mint green. I've paired this barely-there purple UO rollneck with a matchy-matchy suede skirt, and kept the ice-cream theme going with pistachio accessories. Tie-dye's not so scary, after all.

Welcome To The Dark Side

Alternatively, if you're rarely seen in colour but still want to tap into the wavey pattern, you can take the trend in a more Matrix -esque direction. Prada gave a masterclass in this darker interpretation of the usually sunny tie-dye, with shocks of colour immersed in inky blacks. This Weekday rollneck is ideal; to up the ante, I paired it with this leather shirt from Topshop.

Surf's Up!

Of course, I had to pay homage to the original tie-dye-wearing California beach bum (Harmony Korine's upcoming film has inspiration aplenty), but I wanted to make it feel more contemporary than Jonah Hill's current out-there acid look. This Aries tee is dreamy paired with a satin slip skirt and some platform sandals, and has just the right amount of blissed-out Cali vibes. Now I just need the sunshine to make an appearance.

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Apartment Gardening Is The Latest Trend In House Plants — But What Is It?

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So you have a couple of plants. Maybe a cactus or two. Perhaps you've even invested in my personal favourite, the Instagram-famous Pilea peperomioides. All the plants in said plant collection seem to be doing pretty well, and now you're wondering, what's next? I have two words for you: Apartment. Gardening.

What, you may be wondering, is apartment gardening? It can mean one of two things: For people who don't have access to an outdoor area in which to properly garden, it's about clustering plants together inside to create a lush, garden-esque atmosphere. For others — like anyone with a fire escape, balcony, or yard area — it's growing plants, herbs, and even sometimes produce in a city atmosphere. Basically, apartment gardening is about taking whatever weird little slice of space you have and letting something grow in it.

Still have questions? Need help deciding what to plant? Don't know whether window boxes are still a cool thing to have? We're one step ahead of you. We asked the experts, namely Amy Enfield, Ph.D., a consumer horticulturist with Scotts Miracle-Gro, and the members of Terrain's "Green Goods" team, to spill everything they know about small space gardening. Here's what they had to say.

If you have a porch or little sliver of outdoor space in the city, what are some of the best things to grow there?

"Indoor plants are happy to move outdoors in the warm season, but outdoor space affords the opportunity to use annuals, perennials, and even shrubs. Annual container plantings (selected based on sun/shade conditions) will have a lot more colour range to them than indoor plants," suggests the Green Goods team. "Something as simple as a single boxwood or olive in clay is beautiful. Vines planted in containers on balconies or porches can be very rewarding, especially fast growing vines, as they can easily cover a railing in a season and lend a big impact with a single planting."

They also note that so-called "patio vegetables" like lettuce and tomato can be grown on a balcony, provided it gets at least eight hours of sun. Enfield suggests, "Pansies, violas, snapdragons, spinach, leaf lettuce, and other cool-weather loving plants in the spring; plant warm-weather loving plants like petunias, roses, tomatoes, peppers, basil, rosemary, and tropical flowers in the summer; and mums, ornamental peppers, Swiss chard, spinach, kale, and other cool-weather plants in the fall."

Both note that when growing vegetables, it's important to seek out ones that will do well in containers (aka "container plants"). Your local plant store should be able to point you in the right direction.

What are some ways that people living in apartments without outdoor spaces can still establish gardens or garden-like areas in their homes?

According to the experts at Terrain, it's all about styling. "Clustering various pot sizes and plant heights together can create a simple zen greenery look or a wild jungle. If floor space is limited hanging pots can be creatively suspended from wall or ceiling hooks, brackets, or shelving," they suggest. "In homes will very little light, sansevieria, natal mahogany, pothos, and philodendron micans are great options."

Too obvious for you? Consider this suggestion from Enfield: "Terrariums, or miniature gardens grown in either open or closed glass containers, are also popular options for apartments. Terrariums are like aquariums, except they contain plants instead of fish. They can be planted in a variety of sizes and materials. Moisture-loving plants like miniature ferns and moss are typically found in closed terrariums, while succulents are common in open glass containers. They’re very versatile and beautiful to look at – great as apartment décor!"

Do you have any tips when it comes to maximizing space while gardening?

"To maximise space when gardening in a small space, the best thing to do is think 'up,''' offers Enfield. "Stackable pots, containers with trellises, or hanging baskets are all ideal for small spaces. Place trailing plants, like pothos or heart-leaf philodendron, on top of the refrigerator or a bookcase. Or, select plants that grow more vertically than sideways, like a Madagascar Dragon Tree."

What plants grow best in window boxes, and is there anything we need to know about setting them up?

"There are no limitations except root space. Window boxes need to be deep enough for the pants to root into, and plants sizes should be selected that fit reasonably well into the window box. They need drainage, so make sure water can safely run off onto whatever is below. Allow extra space between the soil and the top of the container so they can be watered easily (they dry out quickly)," explains the Terrain team.

What is vertical gardening and how do we do it?

"Vertical gardening is basically container growing but the plants are either positioned above the ground or trained to grow upward. Vertical gardens allow people with small spaces to grow more plants while saving space!" says Enfield. "Instead of having one pot on the ground, several might hang from baskets. Or, vegetables that are traditionally grown in-ground, like cucumbers, can be planted on a balcony and allowed to twine along the railing."

While many vertical gardens rely on suspended pots or hanging baskets, Enfield proposes another alternative called a pocket garden. "This is, quite literally, a plant growing in a pocket — whether pre-purchased from a garden centre or homemade from household items, like an over-the-door shoe organiser. If DIY-ing it, be sure to add drainage holes."

Are there any common mistakes you see people making when gardening in an apartment or smaller home?

"A mistake people will make when deciding to grow plants indoors is, they aren’t realistic," says Enfield. "Before bringing plants in the home, assess your lifestyle to make sure your plant ambitions fit your reality. Some of the questions to ask first include: How much room do I have? How much light does my space get? Could these plants be toxic to my pets or children? Do the plants fit my décor? Who will take care of them if I travel? A little bit of planning ahead of time makes indoor plant growing experience more pleasant and productive."

"You may have heard the saying 'right plant, right place.' Make sure your plants are suited to their location, especially the light condition," offers the Terrain team.

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4 Black Women Share Their Earliest Salon Memories

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What Was Your First Salon Experience?

A Black woman's relationship with her hair is a sacred, ever-evolving one that is fostered from childhood. For many of us, that relationship starts at the hair salon. In the latest episode of Go Off Sis, four Black women share stories of their first time in the beauty salon.

"I remember going to the hair salon around 10 years old," Candace Hokett says. "My mother took me because she could finally afford two heads instead of one." For these women, going to the salon was an hours long, "coming of age" ritual that also created time to bond with family. "My aunt was a hairdresser and we always went to her salon to visit her, get our hair done, and engage in salon gossip," Britney Johnson shares. Hokett also remembers her salon time as a crucial mother-daughter moment. "I would be able to sit with my mom, and we'd look at different styles together," she says. "A couple of times we even got matching hairstyles and that was pretty cool."

Click play to hear more about these memorable salon experiences and tell us about yours in the comments.

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Does Apple Cider Vinegar Really Help Seasonal Allergies?

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If you're someone who struggles with allergies, you know that there's only so much that you can do to prevent the torturous itching, tickling, sneezing, and sniffling that come along with them. There are plenty of creative at-home remedies for seasonal allergies with varying degrees of effectiveness, including inhaling essential oils, running a neti pot through your nasal passage, and sprinkling smoothies with bee pollen.

It comes as no surprise that apple cider vinegar, the wellness world's favourite panacea, is another common tool that people use to relieve allergy symptoms "naturally." The reason? Some say that apple cider vinegar can boost the immune system, as well as thin the mucus in your throat. Others suggest that you should run apple cider vinegar through a traditional neti pot — which, ouch.

So, what's the tea on ACV for allergies? "Apple cider vinegar is not a typical therapy I would recommend for allergy," says Miguel Wolbert, MD, a board-certified allergist in Midland, TX. Most people with seasonal allergies use medications, such as antihistamines, which prevent compounds called histamines from attaching to cells and causing allergy symptoms. But apple cider vinegar doesn't really have any antihistamine properties, Dr. Wolbert says. In fact, there are zero published reports of the medical benefits of apple cider vinegar and allergic rhinitis, he says.

As far as the other purported benefits go, there might be a better way to deal with allergies. The best method for thinning and clearing mucus is staying hydrated and taking a hot shower or inhaling steam, Erich Voigt, MD, clinical associate professor in the Department of Otolaryngology at NYU Langone Medical Center, told Refinery29. Then, for neti pots, you have to be very careful with the type of liquid that you put inside of it, because it's possible to get a brain infection if you swish with contaminated water. For that reason, you should only use sterile or distilled water in a neti pot.

Bummer as this might be for those of us who are desperate to find a solution for allergies, it's not the end of the world. There are so many proven complementary treatments that you should consider asking your doctor or healthcare provider about, and they are way safer. For example, there's evidence that acupuncture and probiotics may help manage and prevent symptoms of allergies. Other people simply take extra care to avoid coming in contact with their triggers, like staying indoors or showering after being outside.

And if you absolutely must use apple cider vinegar for something in your life, you're probably better off keeping it to your salads.

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Billie Eilish Makes Dark Music For Dark Times

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With the release of Billie Eilish’s debut album, When We Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, it feels safe to declare goth dead and buried. We don’t need it anymore, because Eilish is here to give us a new musical language through which to interpret the horrors of the world.

Eilish is poised to become one of the first musical superstars of Gen Z, and she lives in an America where school shootings happen on a regular basis, where wildfires ravage her home state of California, and where suicide rates have been rising sharply since she was born.

Co-written with and produced by her older brother Finneas O’Connell, Eilish crafts music for permanently grey skies using moody, heavy synths, creating a dirge that’s in diametric opposition to her breathy, girly voice. The sound is creepy, especially when the bassline beats take a cue from late ‘90s horror movie music and drop very low or all the way out as if the floor just fell from under your feet — a move that’s perfected in standout track “you should see me in a crown.” In a Saw -esque twist, she sampled a dental drill for “bury a friend". Her clipped, direct delivery on “bad guy”, the album’s first track, makes it clear that all the scary men out there should reassess who’s the badass ("I like it when you take control / Even if you know that you don't / Own me, I'll let you play the role"). She just may be the beast under the bed — or the person best equipped to help fight it off.

Eilish takes a page from old school goths in “all the good girls go to hell” by playing with religious dogma, matching it with a philosophical conversation that harkens back to the album’s title on “bury a friend” ("Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me? / When we all fall asleep, where do we go?"). She slips into a sultry tone in “wish you were gay,” a song that has been critiqued for co-opting queer culture, and “when the party’s over,” a haunting ballad that has hints of Fiona Apple sprinkled all over but owe a sonic debt to James Blake. Eilish swings between these serious moments silly interludes (yeah, we mean those samples from The Office in “strange addiction”) with an ease that belies her 17 years.

When We Fall Asleep immediately stands out as one of the best debut records of the decade, hinting at the impressive output still to come from Eilish.

Billie Eilish's album When We Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go is available now

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This Is What It's Like To Live In The Shadow Of Grenfell Tower

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Last week, it was revealed that cancer-causing chemicals and other harmful toxins had been found in the area surrounding Grenfell Tower, almost two years on from the catastrophic fire in which 72 people died. A number of families who lost their homes in the tragedy are still waiting to be permanently rehoused – nearly 100 families as of last December – and there is an ongoing health risk to survivors and other residents of the west London community.

An independent study led by Professor Anna Stec, who analysed soil samples and fire debris, suggested that contaminated soil caused by the fire could increase people's risk of cancer and result in respiratory problems, including asthma. In one flat, 160 metres from the tower's charred remains, researchers found dust and oily deposits containing isocyanates – which can lead to asthma in a single exposure – 17 months after the fire.

Professor Stec said there was now a pressing need for "further in-depth, independent analysis to quantify any risks to residents" and their long-term health, and that of emergency responders and clean-up workers. Groups campaigning on behalf of survivors and bereaved families also expressed concern, with Natasha Elcock, chair of Grenfell United, describing the report as "alarming and hugely upsetting to read".

"Twenty-one months after the fire, the government has yet to carry out a single soil test or offer a proper health screening programme to the community," Elcock continued, echoing the many residents and survivors who believe the government should have done more to investigate the health impact of the tragedy's aftermath. (Professor Stec launched her study of her own accord with a team from the University of Central Lancashire.)

A spokesperson for the UK government told Refinery29 it is taking Professor Stec’s findings "extremely seriously," adding that it will use them to inform the checks the government is conducting. “We are committed to keeping the community safe and safeguarding their long-term health. Anyone living near Grenfell Tower who is concerned as a result of this news should speak to their GP, who will arrange for additional health checks to be carried out.”

Hanna (her name has been changed to protect her identity), a 22-year-old student, lives roughly 600 metres away from Grenfell Tower with her parents and brother, and has done for 20 years. Ahead, she shares her story of living in the shadow of Grenfell Tower with Refinery29.

"It's awful and upsetting knowing that we're putting our health at risk by living here. The fire was heartbreaking, and to know that the community who were devastated by it could be further harmed by the chemicals enrages me. As if people haven’t suffered enough. Everyone nearby should be given medical attention to ensure that any health changes are noted and treated where possible. It should be a priority to relocate residents somewhere nearby to ensure they can stay within their communities, but are safe from the effects of the chemicals.

We are all disgusted by the news of the contamination. In our eyes, the fire was preventable and therefore the dangers from the chemicals were too, and people who have lived within this community shouldn't have to continue suffering. No one I know has told me they would leave because of it, but if it was a realistic prospect, they might. I can definitely see why people would want to leave after hearing this news. I personally wouldn’t consider leaving the area, because I 'fortunately' – if you will – live slightly more than 200 metres away from the tower.

Honestly, in general it’s upsetting living so close to it. Although the remains are covered, it still reminds me that so many innocent people lost their lives, families and homes through no fault of their own, and in a situation that should never have happened. I see it whatever direction I take to get home, and I always think about it.

The views and wishes of people from wealthier backgrounds are always prioritised.

I don’t think the council or government have done enough to help the local community. I understand there's a process but it’s too slow and unfair. It shows that people who come from backgrounds that aren't wealthy end up suffering more during tragedies like this. Although this may be a rare incident, it doesn’t stop the fact that certain communities are still not receiving the materials that wealthier people are. The cladding wasn’t safe, yet appearances took precedence, which highlights the lack of care for the people who lived there.

If the area immediately surrounding the tower was more heavily populated by rich, powerful people, I don't believe it would still pose such a dangerous health risk. The views and wishes of people from wealthier backgrounds are always prioritised. This makes no sense to me, as they have the means of protecting themselves, while people from other backgrounds don't and need to be cared for.

I have a friend who lives even closer to the tower than I do. They are still so angry and upset about what’s happened. The whole community has felt the pain and loss.

To this day, the community stands strong together and the love for Grenfell and each other is always present. You just need to walk down a single road to see the colour of green or words of support and it’s something truly remarkable. Members of the community have shown their strength, unity and support with one another without the council or government, which is inspiring.

That being said, I think there should be a focus on providing services and resources for young people in the community. Young people need a space where they can support one another. This used to be present in the community and it was a success, so bringing it back would really benefit young people."

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Are Flexible Jobs Just A Fantasy We Promise Working Mums?

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In the four years since I became a mother, I’ve had about six different working situations. First, there was the fact I had no job when my daughter, Lucy, was born. During my pregnancy, I had been working as an hourly contractor for a big company. The department head said they would be happy to let me come back to my position after I took (unpaid) leave but, due to budget constrictions, they would have to cut my rate by 30%. Then there was the traditional corporate job I applied for when Lucy was seven months old. That winter, as she and I traded illnesses, I realised that the lack of flexibility the company offered meant I simply couldn’t perform to their standards. I had to quit. Since then, I've had a variety of short-term consulting contracts, which didn’t offer benefits but did offer flexibility.

Today, I’m still figuring things out — and I now know it will always be a juggling act. Sure, now my daughter doesn’t get sick as often due to daycare germs, but there are random days off from school. For example, we live in New Jersey, where schools are closed for a full week in November (nope, not even around Thanksgiving). I want a job where I can give my all — but I also need to work for a company that understands regularly working until 8pm every evening just isn’t feasible.

Of course, this is a problem facing scores of parents who are struggling to manage their families and their work. And while some have found flexible schedules that allow them appropriate compensation and advancement, others have experienced stalled careers, inflexible managers, and a precarious balancing act that force them to weigh family against job advancement.

"When I was on maternity leave, I made the case for working from home two days a week," says Caroline, a thirtysomething account director for a marketing and publicity firm who does not want her full name used. "But what I found, in reality, was that I was iced out. My daughter was in daycare, so if anything, I had more hours on my work-from-home days to work, since I didn’t commute. But I wouldn’t get invited to meetings, or I would call in and would be spoken over in conversations." Caroline says that even when she made the decision to head back to the office on a five-day schedule, she felt unfairly maligned for the flexible arrangement she had previously made. "I wouldn’t be invited to client dinners or drinks, since the assumption was that I needed to be home. The reality was that I could have gone. It was as if I was being punished for having dared ask for flexibility." Caroline ended up leaving the firm and finding a new company that was a better match.

In reality, I found I was iced out. I wouldn’t get invited to meetings, or I would call in and would be spoken over in conversations.

Part of the reason flexibility can be such a minefield is that what a company promises regarding flexibility may not reflect the actual workplace culture. One Harvard Business Review analysis found that even companies that offer flexible schedules may have a bias when it comes to those schedules actually being implemented. This "fake flex" culture — a company that offers unlimited vacation but discourages employees from using it, for example — can be especially insidious for working parents.

"One thing I always advise people to do during a job interview is ask how many people don’t take time off," says Katharine Zaleski, cofounder of Power to Fly, a platform that connects Fortune 500 companies and startups to female and minority jobseekers. "That puts the company on the spot, and you can tell pretty quickly whether flexibility is in name only."

Illustrated by Tristan Offit

Larger companies often offer "on-ramps" for parents coming back from maternity leave, with a structure in place to help employees navigate flexible schedules. For example, Vicki, 37, an attorney in the Northeast, worked for a law firm that offered associates the option to downshift their work to a certain percentage. Vicki chose 80%, which kept her on a promotion and pro-rated bonus track. "I really liked that there was a system in place, and I talked about the logistics a lot with my mentor and other people who were on a flexible schedule," says Vicki. While 80% didn’t necessarily mean shorter hours — she still regularly worked from 9 to 7 — it did allow her to turn down work and travel, citing 80% as the reasoning.

At the end of a year, though, Vicki shifted back to 100%. "I was realistically doing 100% of my job, but in the beginning, the 80% gave me more mental flexibility than anything." Working fewer hours did have an impact on her compensation, which was down about $60,000 (£45,000) from her 100% schedule. She was also nervous that if she kept that schedule, she might be overlooked for promotion opportunities. "It’s just a fact in the legal field that people who are billing the most hours are going to move faster on the promotion track," she says.

Vicki says men took advantage of the percentage structure as well, and she’s glad that there was a system in place. In fact, the firm’s reputation as one that was flexible and fair to working parents partially drew her to the job, even though she was years away from having a child when she first started working.

It’s just a fact in the legal field that people who are billing the most hours are going to move faster on the promotion track.

This can be a smart strategy, says Lisa Skeete Tatum, founder and CEO of Landit, a talent management platform and career coaching tool for businesses and individuals. "Research the policies a company already has in place to know if flexible schedules are a core value — or if you will be a trailblazer." If you are going to be a trailblazer, be sure to make the case for how a flexible arrangement will benefit the company as well as yourself.

"Explain that when you work from home, you’ll actually be online an hour earlier since you won’t be commuting," explains Zaleski. It’s also important to show that you can be flexible for the company as well. "Maybe flexibility means a lower hour week during downtime, but they can depend on you to crank up your hours when you’re working on a client deadline."

But it’s equally important to assess your own wants and needs. Whether it’s needing the flexibility to pick up your child by 5.30pm or wanting the space to take a sick day with your feverish 4-year-old without panicking, being clear with yourself on why you want flexibility and how the flexible time will affect your work is key, says Colleen Curtis, head of marketing and community at The Mom Project, a talent platform focused on connecting parents to work opportunities. "Take some time to sit down and get clear on your own personal priorities and let that guide your renewed career focus. Establishing what type of role and structure really works for you and your family will help you drive conversations around it with clear intent and purpose."

That’s what Eileen, a 32-year-old training manager at a New York City consulting firm, did as she struggled with pumping and nursing while returning to work. "I was trying to pump, which took forever. Nursing was much faster than pumping. With my manager's approval, I decided to work a shortened day, which meant I would do one pump session and then go home to be with my baby." While she would log back on in the afternoon, this arrangement meant that Eileen had to shuffle her work responsibilities — which she knows is a luxury not everyone can have. "At that point, I’d been at the company for five years. We were also shifting our team and had an opening, which we could fill with a person who could take on the travel assignments that had previously been mine." While her compensation didn’t suffer — during a post-maternity leave period where she was taking off on Wednesdays as well as working reduced office hours, she used PTO hours rather than officially cut back her hours and thereby lower her salary — she does have mixed feelings about her new work normal. "I'm sad not to run as many in-person programmes because I do love them, but that was very much my choice to shift my responsibilities to topics that are more flexible."

I'm sad not to run as many in-person programmes because I do love them, but that was very much my choice to shift my responsibilities to topics that are more flexible.

While juggling work and motherhood can be stressful, those who’ve successfully lobbied for flexible schedules have found that they allow them to succeed at work — and feel less stressed when they’re at home. So how can you make the case for it — without docking your pay?

"Flexibility doesn’t equal not getting the job done," notes Tatum. "I personally find that those of us that have personal priorities actually get more things done because we are highly focused, prioritise well out of necessity, and are committed to delivering the highest value priorities." Knowing what you bring to the table — and how much you accomplish, regardless of the hours worked — can help you set up a system that’s fair to you and your employer. Talking with other parents (dads, too) and asking how they’ve done it can also be key, says Vicki, the attorney.

Finally, know that the key to flexible work is remaining, well, flexible. There will always be emergencies at work. There will always be outbreaks of hand, foot, mouth at daycare. And there will always be times you feel overwhelmed. "Although it’s challenging — and the guilt may always be there — you can be present for your family and still crush it at work," says Tatum. "My tip is to schedule yourself first, then your key family and personal events, and work will fill in everything else. It’s a more intentional and fulfilling way to manage all aspects of our lives."

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New Managers: Here's How To Interview Someone For A Job

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Job interviews can be nerve-racking — and not just for the person who's being interviewed.

While there's plenty of advice on how to prepare for a job interview, these discussions are usually geared to the interviewee — not the interviewer. But for new managers who are not quite confident in their roles yet, figuring out how to conduct an interview can sometimes be just as stressful.

Sure, being the one to ask questions might seem like a breeze, but it can take some practice to learn how to ask the right questions and seek out the strongest candidates. So how should you prepare?

We chatted with seasoned interviewers Lindsey Walenga and Jenny Houser. Walenga is the cofounder of Siren PR, based in Royal Oak, Michigan, and Houser is an operations manager at Bryr Studio in San Francisco. The two shed some much-needed light on which questions to ask in an interview, what to avoid, and what they wish they'd done differently when they first started interviewing others.

The most important thing new managers should consider when preparing to interview someone:

Walenga: "Believe in yourself as a leader. If you’re new at building a team, you might feel the need to be overly friendly or, on the opposite end, too authoritative, as you’re getting used to the idea of being the boss. Both of those can cause problems when building a team. Instead, new managers should go into interviews with calm confidence and a clear picture of what high performance means for the position. Doing so will give candidates greater clarity on their fit for the role, and a foundation of trust will be started."

Houser: "Shadow as much as possible. Learn about hiring for culture, sit in on interviews with more experienced hiring managers, and practice with them in the room, as well. Gather feedback; the best thing you can do is be consistent in your interviewing, push through the discomfort, and stick with it! The more calm and relaxed you are in an interview, the more the candidate will be — and that's how you'll get to know them best."

Go-to interview questions (and what to look for in an answer):

Walenga: "A question I like to ask is: 'Tell me about a time you offended someone, whether that was a client, your boss, or someone on your team. How did you offend them, and how did you handle it afterwards?'

"I’m looking for honesty, authenticity, and boldness in the applicant's response. High performers on my team are people who are bold enough to sometimes get themselves into trouble. If you’ve never offended someone, then you’re not taking the risks we need you to be taking. But I also need to see that you can clean it up and navigate conflict with compassion, admitting when you’re wrong and coming out the other side with the relationship intact."

Houser: "My favourite interview questions are ones about feedback, such as: 'Tell me about a time you received critical feedback from a manager or supervisor.' This is a really telling question. I also love hearing about big success moments and experiences."

The best way to approach a job interview as a manager:

Walenga: "Kind and firm is the best approach for interviewing. It shouldn’t be an interrogation, but you’re also not there to make friends — yet."

Houser: "Really know the culture of the company. What are the most important attributes and qualities for team members? What kind of employees do they wish to have at their company? Your interview questions should be based off of this."

What new-ish managers should make sure to avoid:

Walenga: "Avoid leading the candidate’s answers. If you’re someone who likes everyone to get along, you might feel like you want to explain more or give examples to help make the conversation easier. That will hurt you in the end, because you need to see who this person is at their rawest, without your help. Awkward silences are okay. Sit in the discomfort. There is valuable information to be garnered when you let people stumble."

Houser: "Avoid agreeing or disagreeing with anything the person says. You can certainly clarify, but a big skill to learn is the practice of asking questions and then listening. Don't be afraid of silence, and don't ask leading questions. Allow the candidates to think and to speak."

What these managers wish they'd done differently when they first started interviewing people:

Walenga: "When we first started our firm, we were so excited by what we were doing that we were sometimes overly optimistic in our description of the roles. Our enthusiasm contributed to some unrealistic expectations on the team, which caused resentment down the road. I wish I had known what I know now: Tell it like it is, and don't sugarcoat it. You want team members who will rise to whatever challenge you put in front of them — not people looking for just a fun and easy ride. It can be hard to admit the tough parts about a job you’re recruiting for, but when you’re honest with yourself and your candidates, you’ll end up with a stronger team."

Houser: "When I first began interviewing people, I was nervous and I had a hard time keeping my tone casual and conversational. It certainly gets easier, but it probably took over 100 interviews for me to feel truly comfortable with the process."

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What Is The Met Gala’s Camp Theme Exactly?

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Update:Andrew Bolton, the Wendy Yu Curator in Charge of the Costume Institute, further explained the relevance of the 2019 Met Gala's theme to Vogue on Tuesday, calling out its cultural relevance.

Camp, Bolton notes, “has become increasingly more mainstream in its pluralities—political camp, queer camp, Pop camp, the conflation of high and low, the idea that there is no such thing as originality.” He continues: “but I think you’ve got to be incredibly sophisticated to understand camp—look at Yves Saint Laurent and Marc Jacobs.”

Bolton traces the term Camp back "to the flamboyant posturing of the French court under Louis XIV" and Louis XIV’s effeminate brother Philippe I, duc d’Orléans. He even mentions a letter from Lord Arthur Clinton in 1869 to his lover Frederick Park, a cross-dresser known as Fanny. As Vogue explains it, "the word gained currency in the early-20th-century worlds of fashion and the marginalized queer world at a time when homosexuality was a criminal offense and subtle signals and a coded slang language called Polari were all discreet signifiers of queerness."

We can't wait to see how our favourite celebrities tackle this theme, especially Rihanna.

This story was originally published on October 9, 2018.

Drum roll, please... (but actually, because this is gonna be good)...

The theme of the next Met Gala is "Camp: Notes on Fashion."

After putting on the most-visited Costume Institute show in its history — you saw it, Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination — the Metropolitan Museum of Art's curator in charge Andrew Bolton is going even bigger. A play on literary star Susan Sontag's essay "Notes On 'Camp,' " of the Partisan Review from 1964 in which she put a word on the meeting of high-brow art with mass culture (think: Andy Warhol, Banksy, but also reality television and meme culture), next year's Met Gala will highlight the art of opposition to conformity — and all of the fun that comes with it.

But that's not all: Fashion's biggest night will be co-chaired by Lady Gaga, the self-dubbed 'artpop' queen herself, Harry Styles, Serena Williams, and Gucci's all-but-elusive creative director and reviver of high-fashion camp Alessandro Michele. (With that information alone, you can definitely count on an Elton John appearance and maybe a Cher cameo, too.) Of the decision to go from something as serious as religion to something as supposedly light as camp, especially right now, Bolton feels the timing couldn't be more right. Though its opening night usually draws bipartisan criticism in terms of what unfolds on the red carpet, the exhibition itself doesn't disappoint when it comes to tackling real world topics that, yes, impact the world of fashion.

"We are going through an extreme camp moment, and it felt very relevant to the cultural conversation to look at what is often dismissed as empty frivolity but can be actually a very sophisticated and powerful political tool, especially for marginalised cultures," Bolton told the New York Times. "Whether it’s pop camp, queer camp, high camp or political camp — Trump is a very camp figure — I think it’s very timely." Though the President and his family have yet to attend a Met Gala since moving into the White House, we're sure that any Trump references — at least, on the red carpet — will be left at home. (Or will they?)

"One of my favourite definitions from Susan’s essay is when she talks about the idea of camp as failed seriousness. When it is ‘campy,’ it is more self-conscious, but we are going to look at both," Bolton explained. The exhibition is said to feature 175 pieces of 37 designers, including menswear and art pieces (sculptures, paintings, drawings), and will take museum goers through the history of camp: from Versailles to the Stonewall Inn, the birthplace of the gay liberation movement which has since been made a national monument that you can still visit today, should you decide to fête your visit to The Met with a shot and a beer post-viewing.

On camp culture and why next year's May 6 show will be more relevant and extra than ever, Bolton puts it perfectly: "I have started to think it is everywhere, and that all fashion is on some level camp. It has gained such currency it has become invisible, and part of my goal is to make it visible again."

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I Was Bullied For My Box Braids — Now They're My Signature

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For some, a lipstick is just a lipstick. But for others, it's a source of strength, creativity, and expression. In our series Power Faces, we'll explore the relationship between strong women and the makeup they choose to wear — or not. Our latest subject is breakout fashion model Indira Scott. This story was told to Cat Quinn and edited for length and clarity.

I was never good at doing makeup when I was growing up. I think it was the universe trying to show me I could have a natural face, which makes me feel very powerful. When I'm not wearing makeup, I have to accept everything that I'm bringing as beautiful. I like to be fully raw with my face and my hair, and not be so clean cut. Our physical beauty should be a representation of who we are. We all don't have to be the same to be beautiful. That's boring.

Crowning Glory

I've had box braids since I was probably five years old. Besides Poetic Justice [with Janet Jackson], there weren’t models in magazines or people on TV who had box braids. I always got bullied for them, and kids would call me "Avatar." Growing up, the trend for Black women was having relaxed hair, but my hair looked so bad in that form. Box braids were how I felt most confident and comfortable.

Photographed by Natalia Mantini

I really wanted to make sure I wasn't going to start modelling without my braids. I knew if I did, the industry wouldn’t accept me trying to get them later. I'm so happy because now it’s my trademark and people request the braids. There are still a lot of designers who will ask me to take my hair out. They say, "If you just take out your braids, you'd get so many jobs and walk every runway." But that's not what I'm here to do. Asking me to take out my braids is asking me to blend in with all the rest of the girls. I want the fashion industry to change — I don't want to conform to it.

I am very spiritual and big on the energy that is in everything. For me, my braids are like sound therapy. Walking around with a bunch of beads and hearing that noise all the time soothes me in a strange way. Sometimes the wooden beads that I wear will have engravings on them that are affirmations. They say things like, "You're going to conquer everything," "You are on top," and "You are beautiful." Knowing that I have that in my hair is the equivalent of wearing crystals around my neck for protection.

A Star Is Born

I'm really connected to the universe — and, because of that, I love a strong eye. There's a lot of energy in our eyes that connects us to everything else in the world. People are drawn to your eyes and you can transcribe a lot of yourself and your intention through your eyes to other people. When I wear glitter, people look in my eyes and I can transfer them all of my energy and let them know how I'm feeling.

Photographed by Natalia Mantini

I love to be glittery, because I like to feel like a little star or a constellation in the universe. I feel like the sun shines on the glitter and makes me so magical and fun. Makeup, if you choose to wear it, is so amazing because it truly does represent how you're feeling that day. When I wear a bold glittery eye, it encompasses the “boss spirit” I have. I am very soft, and I don’t give enough credit to the side of me that's a strong woman who works hard and gets things done and is very powerful. It makes me feel stronger to have that eye.

As a new model it can sometimes be hard to separate my personal life with my work because I'm a very sensitive person and how I feel is usually all over my face. If I don’t feel so happy, it's going to show. I've gotten so far because I'm always happy and a ball of light in a room. So it was interesting seeing myself not being my higher self this past Fashion Week. I moved, got the flu, and the cherry on top was I was going through a breakup. In that month, concealer basically saved my life. I was so exhausted and I was like, What is this magical thing? It also helped me realise that I couldn't let a breakup affect how I was going to do my work. At the end of the day, what I'm doing as a model is so much more important than being stressed about a guy.

Photographed by Natalia Mantini

Walk The Walk

Imagine if all the Black women in the fashion industry were able to express what they wanted the world to see of them. Black models talk to me about it all the time — they'll say, "You're so lucky you get to wear your braids like this," because they can’t and it sucks because they came into the industry just trying to make it. They had to have straight cornrows, or permed hair, or completely shaved hair, because apparently a big Afro or fun braids is considered “too much” for the runway.

I do understand the light skin privilege that I have and the platform my colour gives me to do more things, unfortunately. I'm not going to ignore that, that's a fact — I'm going to work with it to get to a place where we can all do more with our beauty.

I'm just a girl from Queens with really big dreams who wants to stand up for people who have always been told they're not good enough. I love going places and seeing girls with box braids who tell me, "Because of you, people think I'm beautiful," which is crazy because they are already so beautiful and it's wild we have these preconceived ideas of beauty. I'm really glad I can help change that.

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