As Ivanka Trump turns 37, we've decided to look back at all the ways she could have used her platform to speak up in the past year.
She's had a big year, traveling around the country to talk about job training, shutting down her fashion brand, and sometimes disagreeing with her father (although only behind the scenes). Throughout her first political job as White House senior advisor, we've learned that she likes to stay in her comfort zone: Working on bipartisan issues like workforce development and human trafficking, rather than tackling healthcare or gun reform. Making appearances on Fox News, never MSNBC or CNN.
We're by no means suggesting Ivanka should have done all of the things outlined here. We are also not hoping or expecting for her to do so. But given how large of a platform she has, there are a lot of missed opportunities. It's no coincidence that, according to a new poll from Refinery29 and CBS News, only 18% of women ages 18 to 35 said they view her favourably, while 46% hold a negative attitude toward her.
Ahead, all the times Ivanka could have made an impact in the past year.
2. After Parkland, when students were asking for solutions and got tone-deaf platitudes and unpopular promises to arm teachers from the administration instead, she could have made an impact by at least meeting with survivors.
3. For teachers who were striking as a result of low pay, given the dedication she says she has to the American worker.
4. She could have spoken up about the many Black people who received police visits this year for doing normal, everyday things like napping in their dorms — and playing soccer, and entering their own apartment, and mowing the lawn, and eating lunch on campus, and campaigning for office — especially since it's white women who make most of these unnecessary calls.
5. At the height of the family separation crisis, which she didn't talk about until August, when she said that it was a "low point" for her.
8. When she had a chance to work with Democrats to craft a paid family leave law that goes beyond parental leave, but instead put her support behind a policy that falls short.
9. After promoting one of her father's "hire American" initiatives, Ivanka was widely criticised because her brand's clothing is made overseas. She could have addressed the controversy, but chose to say nothing.
14. Instead of simply condemning the sending of explosive devices to Trump critics like Hillary Clinton, Rep. Maxine Waters, and CNN on Twitter, she could have addressed the administration's ongoing hostility toward the media.
15. She could have made an effort to help with Hurricane Maria relief in Puerto Rico; more than 3,000 people died as a result of the hurricane, which the administration still refuses to acknowledge.
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Is it just us, or does Zara love sneaking up on us? They've done it before — with a full beachwear collection that secretly launched on their site earlier this year. The masterminds behind our favourite high street retailer have now released an exciting new product range. On one of our weekly Zara lunch time scrolls, we spotted something brand-spanking new hidden in their new feature, "Corner Shops." Alongside collections pegged Dress Time, Timeless, TRF and Join Life is a shop made entirely of fashion-forward maternity wear, a new line called Mum.
We have to give it to them — this is some seriously good timing. With Meghan Markle and Prince Harry expecting their first child this spring, there's no better time than now for Zara to jump on the maternity bandwagon. And after scrolling through the collection, we're just waiting for our favourite pregnant Duchess to be spotted donning a piece or two. From long dress coats to fitted knit dresses, this collection was basically made for the royal mother-to-be. So, we say, beat Meghan Markle to the punch and snatch up one (or all) of Zara's maternity pieces ahead. It's only a matter of time before you're #twinning with the Duchess of Sussex.
At Refinery29 UK, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. If you buy something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
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Learning to drive is dangerous. Your life is quite literally in your instructor's hands, so she or (most likely) he needs to be someone you trust and feel comfortable with – not someone whose own behaviour leaves you fearing for your safety.
But women are sharing accounts of the inappropriate comments, sexual harassment and worse that they've experienced at the hands of male driving instructors. More than 20 women have reported being sexually harassed or assaulted by their driving instructors to the Everyday Sexism project within the last fortnight, while more than 100 had done so in the past six years, its founder Laura Bates wrote on The Guardian today.
Women recalled tales of being young, vulnerable and powerless in the presence of more powerful older men. If you think about it, a driving lesson – in a confined space, with no one else present to stand by a victim's account of the situation and nowhere for them to escape to – is the perfect environment for a predator to strike. It's only in our post- #MeToo world, with female victims of abusive men more likely to be believed (or so we hope), that many women feel comfortable sharing their accounts. Who knows how many more have been swept under the rug in decades past?
As someone who was on the receiving end of similar behaviour for over a year between 2016 and 2017, this didn't surprise me one bit. I was 24 when I first started driving lessons, and while I thank my lucky stars that I was never physically harmed, it was bad enough that I couldn't continue learning without changing instructor (wasting months of learning time).
The middle aged, married man in question took an unhealthy interest in my sex and dating life, asking if I'd slept with men I'd been on dates with, and trying to enlist me to help him cheat on his wife, who was apparently too "out of shape" for his flabby self. He'd scroll through explicit pictures of random women he’d added on Facebook and ask me what to say to "turn them on". I remembered having to prove I could read number plates when I signed up for lessons, but didn't recall needing to prove my sexting expertise.
He'd comment on my body, too, describing me as "too athletic" and regularly saying I'd be more attractive with "more meat" on my bones. "If I wanted a thin woman I'd go to B&Q to buy a rake," he told me once. He’d point out other women's breasts and bums to me as they passed by. What had he expected me to say in response? Another time, he looked me up on Facebook during the lesson and added me later that evening. I declined and never arranged another lesson.
He insisted on a hug and then bombarded me with Facebook friend requests
Judging from the stories other women have shared with Refinery29, this creepy behaviour is not isolated. Alice Heather, 21, from London, had an eerily similar experience four years ago. Her instructor, a married man with children, would regularly probe her with personal questions (like if she "worked out" or had "a lucky guy"), call her pet names, and touch her hands on the wheel and gear stick too often to be justified as "helpful".
On one occasion down a dark country road, she claims he sensed her nerves and assured her: "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you." The behaviour continued once he and Heather parted ways. "When I passed my test he insisted on a hug and then bombarded me with Facebook friend requests. I'd ignore them and eventually had to block him."
Luckily, Heather claims to have been a savvy, mature 17-year-old, so rather than giving her instructor what he (presumably) wanted, his behaviour made her "cringe". "I knew his type from working in hospitality and dealing with creepy old men, so I wasn’t going to fall for his crap," she adds, but admits she still wishes she'd reported him.
Sara Webster (not her real name), 37, recalled receiving a Valentine's card and chocolates from her married instructor. "It’s only looking back that I realise how dodgy it was. He used to add on an extra hour to my lessons for free and delay putting me forward for my test," she said, adding that she's sure the experience led to her failing first time.
He leaned forwards and kissed me squarely on the mouth
"I was 100% ready for the test and looking back, he definitely held me back on purpose. I was so naive and introverted and politeness was everything so I never said anything. And I still can’t drive!"
A minority of women feel endangered to the extent that the only option is to report their instructor to the police. Lana Shiel, 26, from Enfield, north London, took this step after being harassed by a married instructor in his 50s. He began touching her after a few months and the pattern culminated in assault. "He started to hug me at the end of the lessons, and I know Turkish culture so didn’t think too much of it. But when he asked for a 'cuddle' at the end of a lesson, the phrasing made me feel uncomfortable.
"I declined but he either didn’t hear or pretended not to hear and hugged me anyway. I let it slide," she said. This pattern continued until one day, he went in for a kiss. "He went to hug me and I could see his lips tracing out a pathway to mine. Short of time, I turned my head sharply into the headrest, so he hugged me and ended up planting a kiss on my right cheek."
Despite her struggles to move away, she continued, "he held my head in place, cocked his head to the side, smiled, then leaned forwards and kissed me squarely on the mouth. I was in complete shock that he would be so brazen, so decided against confronting it at the time. I said thank you for the lesson, smiled and removed myself from the car."
It was a police officer friend who encouraged her to report the incident to her local force. "I called the police when I was at home to file a report and they came to my house the next evening to take a statement. I was very surprised at my reaction to this, considering I'd been sexually assaulted by a senior at work when I was 18.
"I was much more vocal and proactive about reporting it than I was this time round. The scale of assault then was much larger though, so I felt 'not enough' had happened on this occasion to warrant calling the police." But it was the officers who deemed it sexual assault rather than harassment, as contact had happened and there was intent, and she had resisted him and turned away to show she wasn't consenting. She cut ties with him immediately and is planning on reporting him to the Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency (DVSA).
The DVSA updated its guidelines in February, warning instructors that if they became sexually involved with 16- or 17-year-olds they could face punishment, even if it was consensual. It revealed it had conducted 109 investigations into instructor misconduct, including inappropriate sexual behaviour, between 2016-2017, and encouraged learners to report inappropriate behaviour.
If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.
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Last week, theNew York Timesreported on a Trump administration memo from the Department of Health and Human Services that could legally ignore the existence of transgender people in the US. In the memo, the HHS defined gender as “a biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth.” Many transgender and non-binary people claim that defining gender in this way is attempting to erase trans people from existence. Refinery29 has asked a mum who's active in PFLAG (the nation's first and largest organisation for LGBTQ+ people, their families, and allies) to share her thoughts on the memo, and how policies like this could affect her transgender daughter's life.
When I was asked to write this piece, I immediately said yes, not knowing exactly what to say, but driven by a fire in the pit of my stomach and the need to scream out. I have typed and deleted, typed and deleted, over and over for the last week, tongue tied because I am required now, in this moment, to say the unfathomable out loud: I live in a country whose leaders — and many others — want to erase my daughter from existence.
When my child was only 10 years old, we sat on the front porch of my home, where all of the important conversations happened, and she mustered up all the courage she had in her tiny body to say, “I am not a boy, I am a girl. I always have been. I have always known who I am and now you do too.” I wasn't the least bit shocked. While at that time I may not have had any real experience with transgender people, I always knew she was different (and in the best possible ways!). Finally at 10 years old, I saw her and heard her—and she blossomed. Bullying stopped, friendships were made, grades went up, and her self-esteem went through the roof. My quiet, withdrawn, lonely child was gone and was replaced with a child so full of life and light, it could blind you. Supported and loved by her friends, with teachers and others who have cared for her and fought for her, she is perfectly made and exactly who she was born to be.
When the news broke last week that this administration wants to “adopt an explicit and uniform definition of gender ” that “would define sex as either male or female, unchangeable, and determined by the genitals that a person is born with,” many were surprised. I suppose I should have been, too. But the truth is that, as the mother of a transgender child, I have seen poor policies and legislation play out repeatedly in ways that are not only discriminatory, but life- threatening.
Earlier this month, my daughter was left out of an active shooter drill at her school because teachers had been told not to allow her in either the male or female locker rooms. While her peers gathered together quietly in the middle of the locker room, protected and prepared, my daughter was forced to sit vulnerable and unprotected in the gym, then alone in a hallway, near— but not inside — the locker rooms. When she came home, she stated the obvious: “If there had been an active shooter, I would have been the first to go.”
When she told me what happened, I was enraged, with that rage later turning to sadness. In that moment my daughter’s life was considered last. Worse, her physical safety was debated because nobody knew what to do with her, although as a transgender girl, she is just that: a girl.
I will fight so that my daughter, and kids like her, aren’t erased or diminished or harmed.
Since the incident happened, our community has shown more love and support than I could have ever imagined. A school board meeting was packed with signs and flags; neighbours spoke out against what had happened and in support of my daughter and other transgender youth across our county. Most surprising? After years of discrimination and rules that not only isolated my daughter but also could have ended her life in this most recent situation, an apology was made from the very school leaders who helped make those rules. This traumatic and devastating situation put a national spotlight on how transgender students are treated in our school system, and across the country. In our district, policies are now being reviewed. Conversations are happening. Progress, finally.
Then, mere days later, the memo.
So what now? What do school systems that want to do the right thing by transgender and gender-expansive youth do when our own President and his administration suggests policies that will erase my daughter and other kids like her? What happens when she is denied access to a job because there is no protection for transgender workers, or denied housing, or an education, or access to facilities and services when discrimination becomes legally permissible? This destructive policy would do nothing other than put an already-vulnerable community at further risk…or worse? Erase them entirely.
For almost 17 years I have been a mum: A working mum, then a stay-at-home mum, then a working mum again; a soccer mum at the fields every weekend; a concerned mum, worried about the day-to-day stuff like too much screen time and getting good grades; and I’m also a PFLAG mum, one of my most important roles advocating for, educating about, and supporting LGBTQ+ youth, especially my own daughter. And while this administration and others conspire to do all they can to dim her light, she still remains unafraid and empowered. So I will follow her lead. I will fight so that my daughter, and kids like her, aren’t erased or diminished or harmed. And I will ask you to join me by speaking out and letting transgender, non-binary, and intersex people know that you have their backs — and I will also ask you to join me in voting on November 6th (or earlier if you live in a place where early voting is an option) for leaders and legislation that support people like my daughter. Because she matters…and she will not be erased.
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It's been 282 days since news broke that Hedi Slimane would take over the reins at Celine. And, it's not like we're counting or anything, but boy, are we tired.
In September, the French designer presented his debut collection for the label to a storm surge of criticism. We won't go there, but there's plenty a reaction piece to get you up to speed. For nearly a year, meanwhile, we've been wondering what's next for Philo. Well, it looks like we may (finally) have our answer: The British designer is set to participate in a panel at the Engadin Art Talks in Switzerland on January 26 and 27. It'll be one of Philo's first (and maybe only) appearances in years as she takes a break from fashion to tend to her private life.
The arts festival strives to connect art, design, film, architecture, science, and literature with what they're calling a "holistic visitors’ experience" in the Alpine ski resort of Zuoz. Philo will join other speakers that include Juergen Teller (the photographer who lensed many of her iconic campaigns), musician Anthony Moore, architect Arno Brandlhuber, choreographer Cecilia Bengolea, and artist Lena Henke, among a few others. The theme of the talk is "How do gravity and grace define current-day life in the digital age?,'" which the tech-shy Philo will surely have no problem shedding light on.
Following her departure from Chloé in 2006, the designer took two years off to raise her daughter Maya. And now, after leaving Celine with no plans to rejoin fashion anytime soon, it seems Philo is still in a reflection phase — with no announcement on whether she'll join another label or start her own. We're not rushing her or anything, but we can't be the only ones with crossed fingers that an audience member, or the moderator, will probe Philo on approximately when we can expect a comeback. Either way, we're cool with her taking her time. But like, just don't take too long — ya know?
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Over the weekend at the Young Black Leadership Summit in Washington, D.C., Turning Point USA communications director Candace Owens claimed that the “Black Skinhead” rapper had designed t-shirts and hats for “Blexit,” an initiative that encourages Black Americans to leave the Democratic party. Calling West her “dear friend and fellow superhero,” the controversial Owens revealed that the logos and colours of the merchandise came from the brain of Yeezy.
Yeezy says… not exactly. On Twitter Tuesday, the self-proclaimed Donald Trump supporter who appeared on stage at Saturday Night Live in a MAGA hat walked back on his bold political statements of the past few months.
“I introduced Candace to the person who made the logo and they didn’t want their name on it so she used mine. I never wanted any association with Blexit. I have nothing to do with it,” he wrote on the social media platform.
I introduced Candace to the person who made the logo and they didn’t want their name on it so she used mine. I never wanted any association with Blexit. I have nothing to do with it.
“My eyes are now wide open and now realize I’ve been used to spread messages I don’t believe in. I am distancing myself from politics and completely focusing on being creative,” he added.
My eyes are now wide open and now realize I’ve been used to spread messages I don’t believe in. I am distancing myself from politics and completely focusing on being creative !!!
Earlier Tuesday, West tweeted what he does believe in, stating on Twitter:
“I support creating jobs and opportunities for people who need them the most, I support prison reform, I support common-sense gun laws that will make our world safer.”
I support creating jobs and opportunities for people who need them the most, I support prison reform, I support common-sense gun laws that will make our world safer.
“I support those who risk their lives to serve and protect us and I support holding people who misuse their power accountable. I believe in love and compassion for people seeking asylum and parents who are fighting to protect their children from violence and war.”
I support those who risk their lives to serve and protect us and I support holding people who misuse their power accountable.
I believe in love and compassion for people seeking asylum and parents who are fighting to protect their children from violence and war.
If only there was a killer throwback beauty look to match every rad '90s jam. Queen Bey gave us just that today by posting her latest homage for Halloween: faux album cover art for Toni Braxton’s 1993 single, "Another Sad Love Song," featuring ‘Yoncé wearing Braxton’s exact hair and makeup. Shared via Instagram, the tribute is so spot-on that one of the only discernible differences between the original and mock versions can be found in a simple spelling change: Beyoncé is Phoni Braxton, y’all — and we're here for all its true '90s beauty, right down to the manicure.
Let’s start with the hair: a pixie cut perfectly coiffed by longtime Beyoncé collaborator Kim Kimble. Meanwhile, the makeup look, created by Rokael Lizama has us seriously rethinking our cut crease obsession. Beige and sable shadows create natural definition — was this the original contour? — while precisely-lined brick red lips and a flutter of lashes placed on the outer corner of the eyes round out the look. Um, excuse us while we add MAC Spice Lip Pencil to cart.
While we debate switching our own Halloween costume for something a little more late 20th century (hey, it's not too late!), we're left with one final nugget to love from Beyoncé's tribute post:
“Sending love and adoration to one of our talented legends," she wrote to Ms. Braxton. "Thank you for the countless bops. Your tone, your beauty, your range, and your God-given talent is treasured. Loving you always. Have a Happy Halloween my Kings and Queens.”
Phoni Braxton!? NEVER!!! How do you look better than me on MY album cover? I LOVE IT, Such a superstar! Thanks for the love sis! Happy Halloween 🎃 Who run the world...GIRLS! GIRLS! 💃🏽💃🏼@Beyoncepic.twitter.com/dFSbBrQV8Y
Welcome back to winter, kids. It's finally happened and there's no going back. It's darker, colder and generally just more miserable outside so any social obligations that involve being away from your warm, comfy bed really need to be worth the effort.
Which is why we're here to tell you what's on our list of things to do, see and experience in this awkward month of November (let's face it, we're all just waiting for Christmas anyway). You'll be glad to hear that it's a good month for films – the long-awaited Fantastic Beasts sequel is finally hitting cinemas, Viola Davis' hit Widows is almost upon us and if you're in the market for a thriller, Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadagnino has something new (and very, very different) in store for you.
Out in the big bad world there's a welcome alternative to the annual mayhem of Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland, a couple of Instagram-worthy art exhibitions and the new music drops to listen to before everyone else. Here are the best things to fill your long, dark evenings with this month.
Homecoming
We've got another podcast turned TV show for you, this time fronted by Julia Roberts in her poignant first foray onto the small screen. Homecoming is a new (and unnerving) drama series on its way to Amazon Prime Video pretty soon and people are very excited about it. It follows Roberts' character, Heidi, a caseworker at a top secret government facility ostensibly set up to "help" soldiers return to normal life. However, the trailer will leave you suspicious that something far more sinister is going on beneath the surface.
Put (deep breath) Viola Davis, Daniel Kaluuya, Liam Neeson, Cynthia Erivo, Michelle Rodriguez, Elizabeth Debicki, Robert Duvall, Colin Farrell and Jacki Weaver in a film directed by 12 Years A Slave 's Steve McQueen and co-written by Gone Girl author Gillian Flynn, and it'd be silly not to be hyped about it, right? The result is Widows– a dark and alluring crime caper which sees four widows (Davis, Erivo, Rodriguez and Debicki) seeking revenge on the bad guys involved in their husbands' deaths.
In cinemas 6th November
LM5
Who could have imagined that one of the world's biggest girl bands, born on X Factor and catapulted to international superstardom, would be about to release their fifth studio album? Because that's precisely what's happening. Aptly named LM5(as in Little Mix 5[th] album), the record is apparently the singers' favourite to date. It features their latest single "Woman Like Me" with Nicki Minaj, and you'll have just enough time to learn all the words before their LM5 tour next year.
The reckoning is coming, and it'll be delivered by our first female president Claire Underwood after the apparent death of her husband, Francis. The new and final season of Netflix's House Of Cards places actress Robin Wright up front and centre as we *finally* find out what's in store for this fictional (although sometimes eerily similar) America at the hands of their new commander-in-chief.
I totally understand that you might not be ready for the festive season just yet, so I'll leave you with the gentle reminder that Christmas is indeed coming, and there's lots of holly jolly activity on the way. A crowd favourite has to be Winterville, which has positioned itself as the alternative to Hyde Park's famed Winter Wonderland. We're talking celebrated street food, live music and roller disco club nights along with comedy nights, Backyard Cinema and, yes, plenty of mulled wine.
It's been a little while since we've had a Rita Ora album, six years in fact. So fans will be delighted to hear that a new body of music has very recently been announced. Familiar favourites are on the track listing – "Let You Love Me", "Your Song", "Anywhere", "Lonely Together" and "Girls" featuring Cardi B, Charli XCX and Bebe Rexha all make an appearance – and yes, there's a tour on the way too.
London-based photographer Maisie Cousins is launching a solo exhibition this month and it's pretty exciting. If you're familiar with her work, you'll know to expect big, bright and bold but this new project invites you to get very up close and personal with the things we associate with eating – a zoomed and intensified portrait of our strange and obsessive relationship with food that'll have you straddling that delicate line between awe and repulsion, if you will. Maisie says that Dripping Sauce is an "amalgamation of all the things that I find charming and funny about food" and it's safe to say you'll be enticed and challenged all at the same time.
It's here! It's finally here! The second instalment of J. K. Rowling's Fantastic Beasts series (the prequel to Harry Potter, if you somehow didn't already know) arrives this month and we'll finally be introduced to young Dumbledore (played by Jude Law). Though the truth behind one particular fan theory was revealed in the film's latest trailer, we're still super excited to find out more about Nagini's story. And yes, I do encourage attempting a full Harry Potter marathon before you venture to the cinema for the next chapter.
In cinemas from 16th November
Raye's headline tour
Raye is one to know about, you guys. She's the voice behind some of your favourite chart bangers of the last couple of years, and after supporting the likes of Years & Years, Jess Glynne and Rita Ora, it's her time to headline her own tour. There's no doubt it'll be a legitimately fun one, too. Just be ready to dance and jump and ambitiously hit her high notes if she performs the Jax Jones track "You Don't Know Me".
Performances at Academy 2, Birmingham on 1st November; The Wardrobe, Leeds on 2nd November; The Cluny, Newcastle on 3rd November; Thekla, Bristol on 5th November, Koko, London on 6th November and O2 Academy Dublin on 8th November
Nobody's Fool
Chances are, you're going to need a laugh this month and for that we direct you to Tiffany Haddish's newest comedy, Nobody's Fool. She stars as Tanya, a young woman recently out of jail and back in her sister Danica's (Tika Sumpter) life, in need of help getting back on her feet. She soon finds out, however, that her sister is in a relationship with a man she's never met and the priority shifts to hunting down her catfish. There are welcome, hilarious appearances from Amber Riley and Whoopi Goldberg, who stars as their mother. Pencil it in for that girls' weekend you've got planned because it'll rain/you'll be hungover/it looks like one to bond over.
In cinemas 23rd November
Yandhi by Kanye West
Don't think we've forgotten about the promise of this new album, folks. Kanye's high profile project was due to drop back in September amid a strange social media campaign in which he criticised the nature of, erm, social media. There's a lot about Kanye's recent behaviour that neither adds up nor has brought estranged fans of his music back on board. But at the very least, by Kanye's own doing there's a lot of weight on Yandhi and it's safe to say there'll be a fair amount of noise when it (if it) eventually drops.
Available 23rd November
Suspiria
Based on the 1977 horror of the same name, this new film is brought to you by Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadagnino. Starring Tilda Swinton, Dakota Johnson and Chloë Grace Moretz, Suspiria introduces us to a world-renowned dance academy in Berlin where there's something way more menacing going on than a few competitive pirouettes on a sprung wooden floor. Witchcraft lingers in the corners of this narrative and it'll leave you disproportionately nervous about your grand plans to get back into dancing.
In cinemas 16th November
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From Beauty Pie and Lixir to The Ordinary and Niod, when it comes to great beauty brands, we're already spoilt for choice here in the UK. But you might want to push your holy grail products to one side and make a little more room atop your bathroom shelf, because the Indie Beauty Expo has just brought an avalanche of shiny new launches.
The brainchild of aesthetician Jillian Wright and entrepreneur Nader Naeymi-Rad, the Indie Beauty Expo is a global event, recently established to shed light on all the niche, independent and totally unique beauty brands and buys trickling into the industry. Serving up everything from skincare and haircare to makeup and wellness products, it's a beauty circus meets marketplace, and last week, it came to London for the very first time.
Ahead, you'll find all the brands and products worth stockpiling – before anyone else catches on.
Hailing from Barcelona, Alex Carro is a natural and cruelty-free brand, which harnesses herbs, essential oils and fruit acids to provide powerful skincare with a wellbeing twist. The Balancing Facial Oil is probably the most popular product in the collection – it feels warm and silky on the skin, moisturises deeply thanks to the addition of vitamin E and soothes the senses with lavender and rose.
Alex Carro Balancing Face Oil, $59, available at Wolf & Badger
Free from nail-stripping acetone, indie beauty brand Nailflix & Chill (great name) brings us a nail polish removing cream. Simply apply a thick layer onto your nail, let the formula work its magic for 1-3 minutes, massage it in and then wipe off with a dry cotton pad or tissue. We can confirm it's just as effective as any 'normal' liquid nail polish remover, and thanks to the added vitamin E, it won't leave your cuticles dry or ragged.
Nailfix & Chill Nail Polish Eraser Cream, $12.95, available at Beauty Mart
ikoo is a brand dedicated to all things hair. Taking inspiration from the clever Korean haircare trend of 'steam hair masks', they recently launched the Thermal Treatment Wrap – a hair mask meets shower cap. Infused with sea kelp, plant extracts and proteins, it locks in the heat and moisture of your just-washed hair so the ingredients work twice as hard to hydrate and reinforce brittle strands.
ikoo Thermal Treatment Wrap, $6, available at Harvey Nichols
Made in France, Bon Parfumeur's 18-strong, unisex fragrance wardrobe – including floral, woody, spicy and citrus scents – was created for those with a penchant for layering or mixing and matching perfume. The aesthetic is minimal, but you can personalise the label to read whatever you'd like.
Bon Parfumeur 101 Rose, Sweet Pea, White Cedar, $85, available at Bon Parfumeur
Like many women, S5's founder, Laura Rudoe had acne for many years and created the brand (which consists of serums, creams and cleansers) to combat things like excess oiliness and pigmentation or skin staining left behind by spots. For us, the hero product is the cleanser. Unlike lots of face washes formulated for oily skin, this is non-foaming, so it won't strip your skin of the good stuff as it mops up shine.
This cute brand was cooked up by NYC-based aesthetician and herbal medicine expert Victoria Leung, and the Sea Salt Scalp Purifying Anti-Dandruff Shampoo is our top pick. Okay, it doesn't smell as great as a regular shampoo, nor does it lather up, but it does the trick of eradicating product build-up, minimising flakes and making hair feel squeaky clean and soft thanks to the sea salt and sweet almond oil extract. It's free from SLS, so even those with allergy-prone scalps and coloured hair can use it.
Elvis + Elvin Sea Salt Scalp Purifying Anti-Dandruff Shampoo , $31.23, available at Elvis + Elvin
Certified cruelty-free and vegan, this creamy (read: not sopping wet) sheet mask by Insta-worthy skincare brand Milu is like a drink of water for skin prone to dehydration, usually characterised by a tight, taut feeling. Rose water shuttles moisture back into the skin and olive extract helps nourish sans greasiness.
Milu Say Hi To Hydration Moisturising Sheet Mask 28g, $11.5, available at Feel Unique
If the Instagram-worthy packaging and sunny, citrussy fragrances don't sway you, the philosophy behind Girl Undiscovered will. The New Zealand brand is owned and run by a female collective who sniff out natural, sustainable and ethically sourced ingredients for each product. The brand also places more of a focus on the ritual of skincare, so think of this velvety, aromatic body oil as self-care in a bottle.
Girl Undiscovered Soaked In Sunshine Body Elixir Oil, $46, available at Free People
From cleansing oils to natural deodorants, the products in Joji Natural's skincare range boast organic, cruelty-free, gender-neutral and zero-waste credentials. Frankincense, lavender and rosemary feature heavily in the line and provide a calming and comforting touch through aromatherapy.
Joji Natural Moisturiser - Hydrate, $19.86, available at Joji Natural
All of Verdant Alchemy's products are vegan, certified COSMOS Natural by the Soil Association and made in small batches in London. These bath salts are high in Epsom salts, known to ease stiff, weary muscles thanks to the component magnesium; white kaolin clay, which gently absorbs grime; and lemon, eucalyptus and bergamot to invigorate both the skin and senses.
Verdant Alechemy Breathe In Bath Salts, $26, available at Verdant Alchemy
Thanks to the likes of Verso and L:A Bruket, Scandi beauty is taking over, and the latest brand on our radar is Eleni + Chris. The packaging is a little more fun than others and, according to the brand, ingredients are sourced directly from the fields, fjords and glaciers of Scandinavia. This sheet mask takes dull, dehydrated skin and imparts a dewy glow that lasts.
Eleni & Chris Glow face mask - single, $7.99, available at Eleni & Chris
The crystal skincare trend is going nowhere. Awake Organics' 100% natural, certified cruelty-free and vegan exfoliating cleanser is infused with one carat of finely milled clear quartz powder (some believe this crystal provides healing properties), as well as antioxidant-rich spirulina and hemp seed oil. Bright green, it isn't at all harsh on the skin but sloughs away dead skin, sebum and excess makeup in next to no time.
Awake Organics Sea Quartz Crystal + Algae Cleanser, $26.5, available at Awake Organics
Probably the most luxurious product to come out of the expo, Le Prunier's Plum Beauty Oil is void of sulphates, unnecessary fragrance and essential oils, which irritate some skin types. Instead, the contents are made from plum pits – what's left over when plums are processed for the food industry. Non-greasy, it's incredibly high in antioxidants and so provides protection against pollution and other environmental offenders.
Le Prunier Plum Beauty Oil 30ml, $55, available at Feel Unique
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Each autumn we look forward to investing in a great coat (faux fur and check are our favourite trends this season), but it can quickly start to feel like that one piece of outerwear is all you've got going on. So it doesn’t feel like Fashion Groundhog Day for the next five months until the sun re-emerges, we recommend switching it up with some accessories. From '70s mock-croc and snakeskin to practical, could-be-in-the-Highlands hiking boots, the AW18 catwalks threw up plenty of thrills. May we introduce you to autumn's best accessories, here to make the dark nights and short days a bit more bearable...
Photographed by Anna Jay.
Make Yourself Clear
With Burberry's transparent trench, Celine's clear carry-on and Off-White's see-through collaboration with Jimmy Choo, this year we had nothing to hide. Perhaps it’s a result of our social media oversharing (what better way to show off your fashion month invites?). Maybe it’s a move towards a playful nostalgia (remember Jellies?). Either way, we’re carefully curating our bag's content and making ourselves clear. And it's not just handheld accessories that advocate transparency; these Neous crystal ball beauties are as much about art as footwear. Use as party shoes, bookends and atop coffee table tomes.
Staud Shirley PVC And Leather Tote, £175, available at Net-A-Porter, Neous Dopsis, £575, available at Neous
Reptilia
Animal prints – think zebra, leopard and cow – have reached all corners of our wardrobes this season, from coats to co-ords, but we’re more excited by the reptilian takeover of our accessories. This season’s most polished plus-ones are fashioned from either snake or croc (all ethical faux skins, of course), and while Hermès, Louis Vuitton and Tory Burch all had exotic offerings, two mid-range indie brands are leading the way. Miista has become a cult favourite thanks to its '70s-style ankle boots, while Staud continues to lead the pack with its mini chocolate tote. Layer up pieces – more is more.
Miista Macy Citrine Snake Leather Boots, £270, available at Miista, Staud Nic Croc-Effect Leather Tote, £320, available at Net-A-Porter, Mango Maxi Dress in Snake Print, £79.99, available at ASOS
Photographed by Anna Jay.
Get Some Perspective
Wave goodbye to your ridiculously small micro bag, because this season your carryall gets the XXL treatment. Victoria Beckham had models touting bags big enough to climb inside for AW18, while MM6 Maison Margiela and Jil Sander made their oversized accessories the main event. Gucci’s offering was the most statement-making, with its signature serpent motif snaking around the logo. Sure, if filled to the brim, it would be as impractical as the micro bag; luckily we already culled our possessions to fit into that trend...
Gucci XL Printed Leather Tote, £3,150, available at Net-A-Porter
Take A Hike
If you’re taken by the ugliness of a chunky trainer or the functional appeal of a windbreaker, then say hello to AW18’s most wearable shoe. Whether you reach for Ganni’s performance boot collab with Diemme, or House of Holland x Grenson’s climbing rope pair, there’s a style for everyone. The trick to wearing them everywhere from the office to the pub? Dress down feminine silk slips and florals, which can sometimes feel too saccharine when paired with dainty heels. The hiking boot shouldn’t just be reserved for country pursuits – it’ll soon replace Nikes as the comfort-first commuter’s footwear of choice.
House Of Holland x Grenson Black Hiker Boots, £350, available at Urban Outfitters, Ganni Charron Ruffle Trimmed Gingham Dress, £160, available at Ganni
Photographed by Anna Jay.
Best Western
When Raf Simons paid homage to America’s history with silk Western shirts and Clint Eastwood-style cowboy boots at Calvin Klein, people were apprehensive; there’s a fine line between fashion and fancy dress. But thanks to Westworld, summer’s eternal love affair with gingham, and the prevalence of frilled prairie dresses, the trend is here to stay. Still intimidated? Try Zara’s version – severe angles, yes, but the blush tone and patent finish make them a wish list favourite for AW18.
Zara Cowboy Ankle Boots, £69.99, available at Zara, Topshop Floral Coat, stylist’s own
Photographed by Anna Jay.
Furry Friends
From Balenciaga’s fuzzy fuchsia handbag to Dolce & Gabbana’s embellished shaggy take, AW18’s most fun plus-one is faux fur. In need of some inspiration? Look to Preen by Thornton Bregazzi for Sesame Street -esque primary colours, while Shrimps continues to provide playful patterns for our inner child. Our pick of the season is Topshop’s ladylike number, with its tortoiseshell frame and chunky chain. The tactile bag is AW18’s most comforting trend – just keep it away from sticky dance floors come party season.
Topshop Faux Fur Frame Tortoiseshell Shoulder Bag, £25, available at Topshop
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Listen, I am incredibly anti-neoliberalism. If you’re reading this and you aren’t, please get off this page and go and read some more Ayn Rand. That Atlas isn’t going to Shrug itself.
While many of my detractors might say that fashion is incredibly neoliberal, rotten to its very core, full of disdainful crooks who thieve from the pockets of every hype beast and label junkie out there, exploiting us into a position where we are lulled into thinking things like designer names are actually important, like those Acne sunglasses I bought last week are actually worth £185, like a Louis Vuitton x Rei Kawakubo bag will actually solve all your problems, sometimes fazshionne can prove us wrong.
As a self-appointed fashion historian, it is my job to pick holes in companies which have done this to our world, which is ending in 40 years according to people who actually know. But every now and then, as a self-appointed fashion historian, you come across a brand so pure, a brand so ethical, a brand so powerful in its messaging that everything you thought you once knew about your critiques of fashion – about neoliberalism even – is sent straight to trash and you have to reestablish your entire worldview because of it.
You all know which brand I’m referring to, right? Yes. Thought so.
It was a brand that made the proletariat feel like Paris Hilton, and Paris Hilton look like the proletariat.
For it was that brand that set the people free from their capitalistic obsessions. It was a brand rooted in pure freedom, in distilled socialism. It was a brand totally supported by everyone’s fave decisive socialist, Che Guevara. It was a brand that made the proletariat feel like Paris Hilton, and Paris Hilton look like the proletariat. And if that isn’t socialism, I don’t know what is.
That brand, my comrades, was the popular hat brand named after the world’s most famous pinstriper — Kenny Howard — in the Kustom Kulture movement. You remember that movement, right? That radical leftist gathering who used to paint and drive cars and motorbikes in the States from the 1950s through to today? Of course you do. Wikipedia does.
It was a brand so covetable yet so affordable that even I had a lime green and orange neon one, and I was poor. And if that isn’t socialism, then I don’t know what is.
It was so popular in fact that even if you couldn’t get the hat of your dreams, you could go down Morecambe market and get a goddamn fake. You could even get it for 'girls' (although gender is a social construct, and I really hope you filled out the GRA) with the brand name changed, the last word becoming that popular feminist word: Bitch.
You remember, right? I’m not clutching at straws, right? No. Didn’t think so.
Owning one of these items was a scream to the world that you were free: free of heart, free of mind, free of spirit and, ultimately, free of style.
For this brand was such a radical reimagining of the very threads of fashion that it saw everyone literally wearing hideous caps. It was no longer about the product itself, the object; no, it became about the radical association that came with the product, the object. Owning one of these items was a scream to the world that you were free: free of heart, free of mind, free of spirit and, ultimately, free of style.
Photo: REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
For those of you who know what I’m talking about – hello fair sibling, we will burn this corrupt world to ruin. For those who don’t – I congratulate you for making it this far.
To continue: it was a brand so popular it had a comeback like a year and a half ago for like a week on some minor celebrities who are definitely socialists. It was a brand so fashionable, yet so socialist, that my girls and I all had one when we went to Lloret de Mar – a holiday popularly renamed Regret de Mar – between our AS and A-levels, because that’s the kind of people we were.
It’s impossible, really, to think of another brand which bridges the gap between hot trend and socialism; between men who buy tables at Mahiki and little gays in the North; between radical punk Marxist Kylie Jenner and the guy on the high street in Lancaster who used to shout "Six for a pound, your refillable gas lighters" day in, day out, year in, year out, and who for a short time sold this boundary-breaking garm alongside his six-for-a-pound-refillable-gas-lighters.
Designed by Meg O'Donnell
Yes, Von Dutch, you went where no brand could go. Unfortunately, I eventually ran out of my grandma's money and couldn’t keep you afloat, even though I’d bought three. Unfortunately, if you BrainyQuote 'quotes about socialism' a lot of them are Margaret Thatcher and Winston Churchill, those famed racist homophobes, shit-talking the very principle that allowed a brand like Von Dutch to exist. So, instead, I’ll leave you with this from Burlesque, the most socialist of all the movies:
Nikki: They don’t come to hear us sing!
Tess (played by Cher, about Christina Aguilera): They’ll come to hear HER sing!
And my god, they did.
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Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking a cross-section of women how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period – and we're tracking every last penny.
This week we're with a 23-year-old living in West Yorkshire, a year out of university and working in the banking sector as a complaints manager. She recently bought her first house for her and her mum, after years of renting.
"Me and my mum try and juggle the bills and household costs between us; we try and keep this separate from our mother-daughter relationship (this can be extremely difficult sometimes as my mum doesn’t work due to her mental health). We also car share. Money can be a sensitive subject in my house, as I earn more money than my mum gets each month, which can leave me feeling guilty about spending money. It also means I try and pay for anything and everything I can so my mum doesn’t have to. While our situation isn’t a usual one, it works well for us. When I bought our house it meant that my mortgage payments were half our rent."
Industry: Banking Age: 23 Location: West Yorkshire Salary: £16,500 (plus a yearly bonus and overtime) Paycheque amount: £1,300 this month Number of housemates: One, my mum. And my dog.
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: Mortgage £348.20 Loan payments: £100 towards my credit card and £100 towards a loan payment for my new car. Utilities: Gas, electric, TV licence and internet covered by my mum as part of our housing arrangement. Transportation: £40 fuel each month (car tax and insurance paid yearly on my credit card) and £60 for my bus pass to work. Phone bill: £16.50 sim only contract Savings? Having just bought my house I depleted ALL my savings and then some. I’m now trying to get back into the habit of saving, after having a couple of months splurging. Other: £22 house insurance, £5.99 Netflix, £9.99 gym membership. My mum contributes around £200 per month towards the mortgage and car.
9am: Wake up early, feel awful as I caught a chest and lung infection on holiday in Turkey and was discharged from a four-day hospital stay two days ago.
10am: Visit the doctor who recommends I stay off work for at least a week. Call work who have been surprisingly supportive and let them know I won’t be back until next Monday.
12pm: Mum makes lunch of chicken and chips. Immediately need a cat nap.
4pm: My friends text me about our trip to London on Saturday for a concert. Realise I haven’t even thought of what to wear. Decide I’ll wear something from home as I’ve bought way too many clothes recently not to have something I could wear already.
5pm: Cuddles on the sofa from my dog for the rest of the evening.
11pm: Realise I forgot to take my antibiotics. Spend the next three hours feeling sick because they're stuck in my throat.
Total:£0
Day Two
12pm: Wake up still feeling like death. Decide to have another day in front of the TV in PJs, binge-watching Lucifer.
3pm: Realise I’ve been paid today and I’m due to send my second deposit for my holiday in March by the end of the month. Message my friend and transfer the £125.
5pm: Best friend messages me regarding her birthday party next month. Panic that I haven’t thought about arranging her birthday present. Quickly get online to try and sort it out.
7pm: Find a girl on Depop selling Glamglow masks very cheap, and remember my friend saying she loved the one I got for my birthday. End up purchasing three for £53. Usually £49 each in Boots. Two for me, one for her.
8pm: Decide to also buy her a Morphe palette as part of her present. Order two as I can’t decide on the colours. She’s trying to improve her eye makeup and I did promise to get her an eye makeup lesson for her birthday, but all the ones I’ve seen are so much more expensive than I realised. So I decide to get her that at a later date and make part of it her Christmas present. £38
Total:£216
Day Three
8am: Wake up, roll over, back to sleep.
11am: Decide I need to make a move as I’m doing a friend's hair extensions later. Head to the kitchen for beans and toast. Sit down and drop my plate all over the floor and myself. What. Is. Life.
2pm: Finally ready, realise it's pouring with rain and windy AF but I need to change the number plates on my car. Free blow dry. Yay! Head to the post office and send my doctor's note into work. £1.77 first class recorded.
5pm: Finish doing my friend's hair, she gives me £45 to fit her a full head of micro bond hair extensions (probably a third of what she would pay at a salon). Wondering why I never decided to make a go of it as a business but realise I’m just happy with the extra couple of quid every now and then.
5.30pm: Treat myself to a burger and chips, £4.59. I eat it in the takeaway car park like some sort of criminal. Immediately feel bad as my mum texts to say have a safe journey home and that she has made food for me. *cries*
7pm: Decide I want ice cream and we have none, still feeling guilty from earlier so I treat my mum and brother to ice cream from the ice cream parlour around the corner, £6.60. Spend the rest of the evening cuddled up with my dog on the sofa.
Total:£12.96
Day Four
11am: Wake up and head into town to get my nails done. Realise I’m starving and should probably have eaten before I left the house. Grab a toastie and hot chocolate from Costa, only £4.95 if I get a packet of crisps too.
1pm: Finish getting my nails done and pretend I love the colour (burgundy/red) even though I’m pretty sure I hate it. £22
1.30pm: Head to Primark to buy some tights and some ankle boots for my trip to London tomorrow, £10.50. Also grab us some snacks for the journey and three umbrellas so we don’t get drenched queuing up. £8
2pm: New lip balm from Boots, this weather is making my lips 100 times more dry than usual. £2.69
3pm: Mum asks me to collect my brother's retainer from the dentist. Arrive and they’re closed. Nip across to Home Bargains and grab a case of Lucozade so it wasn’t a complete waste of a journey. £3.50
5pm: Decide I should probably have a bath and pack my case for tomorrow as we are leaving early.
9pm: Stress because I literally threw things into my case and I’m not quite sure I’ve packed everything. Too tired to care. Hot chocolate, biscuits, then bed.
Total: £51.64
Day Five
9am: Make a hot chocolate and pack the cookies my mum made for the four-hour journey down to London. Give £20 to my friend for petrol.
10.30am: Arrive in Leicester to collect our other friend and go for some food. Get a tuna and sweetcorn baguette and a drink. £5.25
2pm: Arrive in London and check into the hotel. Hotel and tickets for the concert we’re going to were paid for two months ago. We forgot to add late check-out, which I split with my friend who I’m sharing a room with. £5
4pm: Decide we are starving and order a pizza, chips and garlic bread to share. Also get two drinks. £15 for my share.
5.30pm: Get a taxi to the arena, which my friend pays for. I agree to pay for the taxi back.
11pm: Had a great time. Head to Tesco and get drinks and snacks for the way home tomorrow, witness a girl try to get in and the security guard almost crush her in the doors trying to keep her out. £4
12am: Order food to the hotel and pay for half the taxi back. £12.50
Total:£61.75
Day Six
12pm: Wait for my friend to wake up so we can order food as I’m starving. Decide to order bagels from UberEats. £6
2pm: Check out of the hotel. Our other friends woke up earlier than us and went for breakfast, which means they’re now hungry. Head to Nando's and get a chicken in pitta with chips and a drink. £12.65
5pm: Drop my friend off in Leicester and head to Costa for a pit stop before continuing our journey. Get a hot chocolate. £2.65
7pm: Arrive home and head straight to bed. Long drives are exhausting.
Total:£21.30
Day Seven
12pm: Wake up after a restless night. Have an extra lie-in as I’m back at work tomorrow. Remember I need to make a doctor's appointment before going back.
3pm: Head to the doctor, who advises me not to go back to work as I’m not fully recovered. The doctor schedules some more tests at the hospital for tomorrow. Yay.
3.30pm: Speak to my friend and have a little cry that I still can’t go back to work.
5pm: Decide to do something useful and do the weekly shop. Buy fruit and chocolates, as well as some basics so we can make some different meals during the week. Why is cheese so expensive? £22.67
7pm: Eat and spend the rest of the evening being lazy and looking at new décor for the house. Decide it's too expensive to redecorate just yet as I’ve not been able to do any overtime.
When editor Penny Martin secured Phoebe Philo as the cover star for The Gentlewoman ’s first issue, it represented a major coup. Not only because Philo rarely gives press interviews (and the magazine was new), but because the British designer had recently shown her debut collection for Céline, Spring Summer 10. It was the start of Philo’s revolution of modern, real-world womenswear at the Paris house – a legend in the making (and an era that has been mourned since Hedi Slimane took the reins, transforming the house into a home for skinny, overwhelmingly white indie kids, as is his signature).
So how did Penny pull it off? If you read The Gentlewoman, you will recognise that its refined but realistic fashion mantra was a perfect pairing for Philo’s design perspective; but in a new interview with The Cut, the editor suggests an additional reason for the designer’s goodwill. This wasn’t their first interview, Martin explains. She had previously profiled Philo in 2005, when she was still at the helm of Chloé, another French fashion house. Though Philo’s tenure there was both critically acclaimed and commercially successful, Martin reveals that their interview did not paint a happy picture.
"It was very clear to me during the interview that she was about to leave," Martin says in the Cut article. "She was depressed as hell." With the fashion industry being quite a small world really, Martin knew Philo’s agent, and called her to check on the intent of this revelation. She asked the agent, "Is [Philo] trying to tell me this as a scoop, or does she not know what she’s told me?" explaining that it was "very obvious she’s not happy" and that Philo had been "very, very forthcoming – you know, too forthcoming." After the agent checked with Philo, she called Martin back and asked her to please keep that particular insight secret. Which she did, until now of course.
Years after the Chloé interview, Philo was able to pay Martin back for keeping her secret: by adding some serious fashion-star quality to The Gentlewoman ’s launch issue: "Phoebe did me a very big [favour] in doing that first interview," Martin tells The Cut. Describing it as "a really charming gift", the editor explains that this cover feature provided "the imprimatur of the woman that would be very associated with our early aesthetic – or rather, we would be associated with hers." A powerful seal of approval, and the perfect favour returned, this small tale of respect between two women is proof that truly, in fashion, what goes around comes around – on the catwalk and behind the scenes.
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It was National School Walkout Day on March 14, and Sayer Kirk stood on the front steps of Walter Williams High School in Burlington, North Carolina, to read the names of the victims of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida.
“One month ago, 17 people were killed. Seventeen people were brutally murdered in a place where they spent seven hours every day,” yelled Kirk, 18, who wore a baggy sweatshirt and ripped skinny jeans. The bullhorn she was supposed to use stopped working at the last minute, so she raised her voice so that her classmates, many of them holding signs with the names of the victims, could hear her. “They should have felt safe, and they did feel safe until shots rang out through their school. Today we’re here to honour those 17 people and to demand a change.” The crowd of a few hundred stood in complete silence as she paused for 17 seconds between each name.
Words not heard in Kirk’s speech: “NRA,” “second amendment,” or even “guns.” That’s because pushback from both parents and students and last-minute changes transformed the event into a neutered tribute to the lives lost. As moving as it was, it was not exactly the demand for change Kirk had originally intended.
The dynamic within Walter Williams epitomises how complicated advocating for gun reform can be in schools, especially in states where gun culture thrives. Burlington is a town of about 50,000 that sits mostly in central North Carolina’s Alamance County. Some have affectionately called the county “purplish” because it’s nestled in-between liberal college towns like Durham, Chapel Hill, and Guilford, but overall it’s red as a MAGA hat: 55% voted for Trump in 2016, compared to 42% for Clinton. It’s a place where Sayer’s street, full of signs proclaiming “We believe Black lives matter, no human is illegal, love is love…” is a 30-second drive from another street where yellow “Thank you Jesus” signs dominate front lawns.
The conversation about gun reform here regularly runs into a rhetorical dead end: “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people,” is something you hear over and over, and not just at the many gun shops that dot the area, or up in the rural hills, but in the halls of Walter Williams, too.
The anti-gun reform faction at Walter Williams is probably best represented by Sam Galey, a 16-year-old sophomore, who stayed inside the day of the walkout along with at least half the school. “[The march] should not have been held during school hours,” Galey says. “We do not go to school to be filled with propaganda. We go to school to learn. This took time out of our day to push an anti-second amendment agenda.”
This is what Kirk was up against when she decided to start planning a walkout. She knew many would be unhappy, but, amidst the wave of youth activism that began after Parkland, Kirk, who jokingly describes herself as the “token activist” at Walter Williams, felt empowered by a movement that was being led by her peers.
Until that moment, she hadn’t been involved in much anti-gun violence work, but soon she was attending March for Our Lives rallies and reading up on the NRA. As a member of the student council and the founder of a local nonprofit called the Queer Fish Center, a group for LGBTQ students to find support and resources, she’s a natural organiser. She’s also president of the school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, and is looking to start a Young Democrats chapter. (She's so ubiquitous on the extracurriculars scene that the school paper has stopped writing about her “so it doesn’t become the Sayer Kirk paper,” she says.) When she heard about the National School Walkout, she found her next mission. She talked to her Latin teacher and “second mom” Robin Farber, and began hosting sign-making events, promoting the event on Instagram, and doing everything else she could to get other students involved.
Since Parkland, I have been terrified. No student should feel that level of fear, no student should be scared to go to school. And yet, here we are.
Then, she brought the idea to the administration for the required permission. Contrary to the confrontational quality of the term “walkout,” this is what most young organisers around the country did: Generation Z kids are not the rebellious boomers of the ‘60s. Kirk, who wants to go to Agnes Scott College in Georgia to study political science and eventually run for office, wanted to stay in good standing with her school administration. Initially, Principal Stephanie Hunt was supportive, and felt students needed an outlet for their anger.
But when Ashley Bowers, the special-ed teacher who runs the school’s social media feeds, posted the announcements to Instagram and Facebook, both accounts were flooded with a deluge of negative comments and DMs. The messages, some with unprintable, racist slurs, came from both parents and students opposing the event because it was “anti-2A,” Kirk says.
“There was a lot of interesting feedback from the community, let’s put it that way,” Bowers says. After about three hours, Bowers was forced to take down the posts.
At that point, the administration told Kirk that if there was to be an event at all, it would have to be apolitical. She could host a “march” to honour the lives lost but not a “walkout.” They could talk about solidarity with the Parkland students, but they could not reference gun policy reform. Many of the schools around the country hosting their own events threatened students with suspensions, while others supported students in their activism. Walter Williams settled on a compromise.
“We decided that we wanted it to be strictly in honour of those that passed in Florida,” Principal Hunt says. “We didn’t want anything else to cloud the issue. If we had allowed just anything to be represented out there, we would have had a large part of our community telling us that as a public school, we were pushing our views on their child. And we had that anyway.”
On the morning of the march, Kirk was required to rewrite her speech. Administrators also forbid any signs mentioning the second amendment or guns. “MSD Strong” was fine, but “We want education, not annihilation” was not.
The fact is, Burlington is “a gun-loving community,” Farber explains. “I think that we were pretty clear it wasn’t against the second amendment. It was against kids getting shot at school. I’m very proud of how Sayer handled it. She did a lot of the online organising in a place that was not that friendly toward it.”
The Parkland massacre birthed a popular, inspiring narrative that the teens are going to save us. And there might be some truth to that: Since February, young people like Kirk, inspired by the activism of the Parkland survivors, have been registering thousands of voters at hundreds of marches around the country, studying up on policy and the NRA, and meeting with politicians and regular citizens to call for gun reform.
This year’s huge wave in state-level gun reform legislation is a testament to the impact these young people are already making. Since the Parkland tragedy, both blue and red states have enacted nearly 50 gun-reform laws, from bump stocks bans to “red-flag” laws, which allow judges to issue orders to temporarily remove guns from a person who is a danger to themselves or others. Even Florida, with its tremendous NRA influence, expanded background checks and passed a bump stocks ban and a red-flag law in March in response to Parkland and the activism that followed.
Yet on the federal level, the stalemate continues. Despite multiple attempts at basic reforms like closing the gun-show loophole that allows people to bypass background checks, nothing has passed since the 1994 Federal Assault Weapons Ban, which expired in 2004 — not even after the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting.
Now, in the wake of yet another mass shooting — this time a hate crime at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh that killed 11 people — with just days left before the midterm elections, the question of whether Gen Z has actually lead a year of fundamental, meaningful change is at its most urgent.
But Walter Williams indicates that Gen Z is more complicated than that. In fact, they are as divided as the rest of us: It wasn’t just parents who felt a walkout was inappropriate, but many students, too.
Galey, whose Twitter bio proclaims, “leftists beware, facts don’t care about your feelings,” is starting a Young Americans for Freedom chapter at the school this year, and is part of the national March 4 Our Rights movement, which he says is about “young conservatives taking a stand and voicing what we believe about gun control and our other constitutional rights.”
“I don’t know Sayer at all, really,” Galey says. “I’ve heard she’s a very nice person, but from what I can tell we simply have fundamentally different views of the world.”
Galey had actually been preparing to lead a group of about 15 students in a counter-action to the march, but he called it off that morning when he learned that it would be an apolitical event. Still, he stayed inside out of protest of the, well, protest.
It thus remains unclear how many among Gen Z are actually compelled by the messages of this newly formed movement. Naturally, because this will be the first election for many of these voters, Gen Z is still a wild card voting-wise. So far, it seems they are less driven by partisanship. In North Carolina (and elsewhere), this age group is leading the growing unaffiliated-voter trend: 46% in the state are registered as unaffiliated, compared to 31% of the state overall. This may be due to youth; they just haven’t had a chance to form their political identities yet.
Nonetheless, many groups associated with supporting Democrats are counting on them. Groups like NextGen have invested in hiring teams of organisers on college campuses around the country, including “gun-loving” states like North Carolina. The result: a promising increase in voter registration among the youngest of potential voters. Political analyst Michael Bitzer, a political science professor and provost at Catawba College in Salisbury, NC, told the Greensboro News & Record that Gen Z (ages 18 to 21; the youngest Gen Z members are still in elementary school) is responsible for 24% of all new voter registrations in the state this year. Millennials (ages 22 to 37) are the only ones who signed up in larger numbers, with a third of all new voter sign-ups.
Even when they are registered, however, young people have an abysmal record when it comes to actually turning out on Election Day. And the “march” at Walter Williams exemplifies the uphill battle young activists still face.
In many ways, Kirk and Galey (who believes arming veterans, officers, or teachers in schools is the way to go) couldn’t be further from agreeing on the gun reform debate. In their discord, they echo the highly polarised climate of the gun discussion nationwide. At times, like with so many other issues, it feels as though each side is living in a different country, which is underscored by how reliably gun ownership is a predictor of political identity.
But while the conversation around guns often seems stuck in an inexorable deadlock, Americans actually agree on more policy points than one would think. Like nine out of 10 Americans, including the vast majority of gun owners, Galey would like to see stronger laws around background checks. “I think just about everybody on both sides of the aisle agrees on background checks,” Galey says. “We all agree that weapons should be kept out of the hands of those who would do harm to others.” According to a recent NPR poll, a majority of Americans also support banning assault-style weapons, raising the legal age to buy a gun from 18 to 21, and adding those with mental illnesses to the federal background check system.
Plus, a full 81% of Americans agree that more guns are not the solution: Only 19% (7% of Democrats and 30% of Republicans), support arming teachers in schools — which both Latin teacher Farber and Principal Hunt say they strongly oppose.
Ultimately the problem remains: Elected officials must agree to actually make changes. None of the 50 laws passed since Parkland have been in North Carolina. There have been no major changes in gun-reform law in the state this year, which isn’t for lack of Democrats trying — and trying, and trying. When in May, Democratic state Rep. Marcia Morey of Durham proposed a red-flag law, Republican House Speaker Tim Moore sent the proposal to the House Rules Committee, “a place where bills often go to die,” without any discussion.
This refusal, on both the federal and state levels, to even bring up proposals for debate is what convinces Kirk that there’s a need for new leaders. On the state level, Kirk plans to vote for Erica McAdoo, who is running for State Rep. in District 63, or eastern Alamance County. McAdoo grew up on a farm in rural North Carolina, in a gun-owning family, and is running on a promise to support sensible gun laws, affordable healthcare, and more funding for education. "She's strong and well-liked even among conservative people. She's reached common ground," Kirk says.
But in order for federal gun reform to even be a possibility in the next two years, Democrats will have to take back the US House of Representatives and the US Senate. An even bigger question: Even if all of the enthusiasm, activism, and increases in voter registration and engagement pay off in electoral terms with the Democrats taking control of Congress, will they actually prioritise gun reform?
If they want to continue to count on the support of the newly activated coalition of Gen Z voters, they must, according to Kirk. For her, gun violence is the defining issue. Her commitment to gun reform is why she registered to vote as soon as she could, and why she spent her summer volunteering for Ryan Watts, a 28-year-old Democratic Congressional hopeful who has made gun-reform policies like closing the gun-show loophole central to his platform.
It’s also why she’s been hard at work on voter registration drives at her school at the same time as some — too many, she says — of her classmates are apathetic. While she couldn’t vote in North Carolina’s primary elections because of a “mistake” (which she characterises as part of “systematic voter suppression ”) at the DMV, she says she’s absolutely voting next Tuesday.
Despite the school’s restrictions on her “march” and the opposition she faces from her community, including some of her fellow students, Kirk says that she and the like-minded teens in her audience aren’t going to stop until they get what they want: Universal background checks. An assault-weapons ban. A ban on high-capacity magazines, which have the ability to inflict devastating harm in a short time. Extreme risk protection orders, such as red-flag laws. Funding for gun-violence research. Policies they hope will bring an end to decades of carnage in American schools, full stop.
“Since Parkland, I have been terrified,” Kirk says. “No student should feel that level of fear, no student should be scared to go to school. And yet, here we are," she says with a look of gut-wrenching disappointment in her eyes. Whatever happens next week, something tells me she won't be deterred.
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Shows like 'Orange Is The New Black' have ignited interest in women's experience of the prison system in recent years, and it's intriguing hearing about life on the inside: what prisoners eat, how they behave, and why they're there in the first place.
Less discussed and TV-friendly, however, is the difficult work of rebuilding a life after being released. As you'd expect, it's not as straightforward as just slotting back into your past life or finding a new job. Half of employers wouldn't consider hiring an ex-offender, according to a 2016 YouGov survey. Some companies now run initiatives to encourage ex-offenders back into work – The Exceptionals offers a directory for businesses looking to employ them – and consultancies like Working Chance exist for this sole purpose. But still, just a quarter (26.5%) of those who have done time join the workforce after release, according to government figures.
Ex-offenders frequently face rejection, repeated knockbacks and being ignored altogether. This is despite the fact that getting a job on release is proven to reduce reoffending. It's this experience that prompted one ex-offender to go her own way. Brenda Birungi, 31, from southeast London, is a poet who goes by the stage name Lady Unchained. In 2008, at the age of 21, she spent 11 months in prison and five months under supervision. She had no previous offences or knowledge of the prison system, and struggled to find a job upon release.
Frustrated and despairing, she founded Unchained Poetry, a platform for people with experience of the prison system to share their stories and meet fellow artists. She talks openly about her experience of the criminal justice system, runs workshops for fellow ex-offenders, hosts live events, and hopes to eventually work with women inside. The aim is to encourage more ex-offenders to share their stories and prove there is more to a person than their criminal conviction. Here, she tells Refinery29 how she rebuilt her life after prison through poetry.
My prison sentence was stressful and stripped me of everything I thought I was before, of a career, my identity, and stopped me finding out where I was meant to be. When I was arrested I'd already planned out my life – and prison wasn't part of it. I'd planned to get a career, maybe settle down and learn how to drive. Whereas when I went to prison I quickly realised that all my college qualifications, all the school stuff I'd done, was not going to be beneficial once I got out.
I was never scared about leaving prison, but there was a fear of getting a job and how people would look at me with my conviction. I'd taken the steps while I was inside to start prepping before my release and identified youth work as something I could do. I already had a CV, but even [the advisor I spoke to] was worried about my prospects. She'd say things like, "I'm just really pissed off because I know you're going to find it hard getting a job, but you're actually an amazing person."
I was turned away for countless jobs I was overqualified for. I lost so much confidence in who I was and what I could offer society.
For a year or two after being released (in December 2009), I was turned away for countless jobs I was overqualified for. I lost so much confidence in who I was and what I could offer society. Eventually I started volunteering at a charity called Body & Soul, which was where I realised I could do something with my experience, rather than just sit on it and be angry that I was in prison. Charities are amazing because they're supportive and don't judge you. Their approach is often, "Okay this has happened, how do we deal with it?"
I hid my convictions from the Job Centre for a long time because I didn't want to be judged. I remember asking why I wasn't hearing anything back from employers, and at that point I told them the truth. I was overqualified due to my work experience in volunteering, but often didn't even get a "thank you for your application". It was like I'd never applied.
It's harder for female ex-offenders to come out and talk about their history.
Depression played a huge role during this time, but identifying and understanding this is something I've only done this year. As an ex-offender you've already been given a label, and if you're struggling with depression, anxiety or anything like that, you don't want another one. So you pretend it's not happening or mask those issues in other ways. But once you finally identify what's wrong, it's easier to find the right help and support.
If I'm honest, I wasn't into poetry before going to prison. I liked Maya Angelou but never thought I could write like her. It was just something that came out of my conviction. During prison I began documenting how I felt in a little book, just writing "this made me angry" or "this made me really happy". It was a form of therapy. Then one day while volunteering at Body & Soul, someone asked if I write poetry after seeing my book. I said, "No, that's not poetry, just my thoughts". Soon enough, I was asked to read out one of my pieces.
After that I reached out to friends, people I viewed as better writers and established poets, whom I wanted to learn from, and started fortnightly sessions at my house. We'd have debates and then write about how these debates made us feel. That became a regular thing and we'd perform together. It was all a way to collaborate with other artists and express how we felt without getting in trouble. From there I got shortlisted for funding to design a community project that helps people from challenging backgrounds.
Birungi on stage at The Roundhouse, London, for an event held by Safe Ground.Photographed by Jonathan Perugia.
As an ex-offender, you're so used to hearing 'no' that you believe nothing is ever going to happen. But last August I had my first event and this year I started working with Arts Admin, who have helped with promotion and given me a venue to host events. I only have men involved at the moment, so I'm looking for female ex-offenders to take part and share their stories. It's harder for them to come out and talk about their history.
There are so many different crimes among women in prison. A woman may have attacked her partner, and what will never be pulled up in court is how many times that partner attacked her. Instead, that woman is so afraid to even share that in a statement that they'll just own up to attacking their partner and never reveal that their partner had been abusing them for months or years. Women are less likely to speak about things like this until you give them a safe space, so that's my main goal now.
Unchained has give me more confidence and opened me up to meeting like-minded people. People disconnect from you when you come out of prison, but now I know that I can tell my story and help somebody else. That's an opportunity I never had... I tell people they can't work with us if they don't have a criminal conviction, because I was turned away so many times because of my conviction. But if you do have a conviction, let's work together and help others who think their life will always be about their conviction.
I'd tell employers to give ex-offenders a chance. If you do, you'll see a change in that person and they'll then be able to help somebody else in a similar position. If you don't, you're only making us believe we're just criminals, we're just our conviction and we will never be anything else. Once you open a door for somebody, not just putting money in their pocket, you open a door for plans, a future and for them to think 'I can do this'.
The next #UnchainedNights is on 28th March 2019. Any poets or rappers wanting to share their story through the platform should contact Birungi via email (at officialunchainedpoetry@hotmail.com) or on Twitter.
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Some stories take over a quarter century to tell. Sandi Tan was 19 when she decided to make her first feature film in Singapore in 1992, and it haunted her for the rest of her life. Along with friends Sophia Siddique Harvey and Jasmine Kin Kia Ng, as well as her mentor, Georges Cardona, Tan spent a summer writing, filming, and acting in Shirkers, an indie road-movie about a young girl played by Tan herself. Then, Cardona disappeared with all of the footage.
He had taken it under the pretence of editing it, but the footage was only returned to Tan — without sound — four years after Cardona's death in 2007. Shirkers, now the name of the documentary on Netflix, tells the story of the summer they shot the film and Tan's quest to piece the memories back together to reclaim the narrative that was stolen.
Refinery29 spoke to Tan about what it was like to dive back into the brain of her teenage self, how she feels now about the friends who stuck by her side, and whether or not Cardona is the villain he appears to be.
Refinery29: What was the thing that surprised you most about looking back at the footage?
Sandi Tan: "Everything. I completely forgot what it was like to be my 18-year-old self. It was like rediscovering your secret superhero identity and discovering that it is your 18-year-old self was that secret superhero identity. I’d forgotten I was that person.
"Diving into my archives and reading my letters and looking at pictures and my drawings and colleges, I was so feverishly active inside my head, and I was so restless, and so curious, and so hungry to consume and create. Rediscovering that part of me was actually a huge part of making this film because I had to recreate that part of me before I could tell the story, because I had to recreate what it was like to be that 18-year-old girl who is full of ideas before I could take people along on this journey. I think everybody’s been 18 once and everybody has had that superhero identity and this is kind of a reminder, for me to everybody else, to not forget that part of you."
I think everybody’s been 18 once and everybody has had that superhero identity and this is kind of a reminder, for me to everybody else, to not forget that part of you.
Did you save all that stuff with this purpose in mind?
"Yeah, I did. When you have this black hole in your life, something huge that was taken away, you tend to want to save everything else. So I kept every scrap, like George. He was also a hoarder but I was, too. In the context of growing up in Singapore where everything was shifting and changing before your eyes and buildings would be torn down every day, you just wanted to keep stuff, just remember stuff, I guess. But also I knew at the time that this kind of level of energy could not continue where I was sending ideas and writing scripts and writing stories and drawings, that that could not continue, that someday I would grow up and become a different person and I knew that I had to remind myself of this person by keeping it in a time capsule form."
How is your relationship with the two other women you worked on the film with now?
"I think I caught in the film exactly how we interact. It was very important to me that we capture that nature of female friendship which is so common in life but you never see. It’s like lightning in a bottle — it’s really hard to capture this kind of relationship because it’s longtime friends who are speaking very frankly to each other, continuing a conversation as if you never stopped talking. Even though I had not talked to Sophie in fifteen years. The three of us had never been in the same room together in 20 years. Making this film was kind of an excuse for me to say hi to them. It’s bringing up a sore point, too. The three of us are kind of bound forever by this dark thing. It’s happy, it’s sad. We have very different reactions. Jasmine’s completely angry, Sophie’s sadder, she’s always laughing and crying at the same time."
I have to give a lot of credit to by DP Iris Ng, who also shot Stories We Tell, and she’s this really tiny Chinese comedian woman with a poker face and she handles a large camera, so she kind of hides behind this camera and has a stone face and she vanished, basically. So Sophie, Jasmine, and I, we talked as if she wasn’t there, and therefore there was a lot of truth that could be caught."
What are you feelings towards George now?
"I don’t villainise him. A lot of people ask me about that. Why aren’t I angrier? I don’t think of him as a villain. I think of him as a very strange friend and think of him as my nemesis. I think it’s stronger to think of him that way, rather than to let him win and be a villain...making this film is itself an act of triumph over life, over all the funny things that happen in life.
"When I was younger I did have the anger and the frustration for many years, but I think as an older person and being more understanding — there’s some parts of his psychopathy I still do not understand. I would never do the kinds of things he did, but I’m now his age when he working on Shirkers with us and I understand the anxieties of somebody who might be growing older but doesn’t quite feel it. There’s a lots of things that you come to understand and be more sympathetic on a human level, for even a person that may not necessarily deserve much sympathy."
If a young girl wants to make her own movie, what advice would you give?
"Be brave. Be brave and take risks. Grow a very thick hide because it’s going to be very difficult and most people are going to say no. Don’t give up. Just don’t go running to your parents all the time. I think people do that far too much now. I think one thing that we did in the early ‘90s and stuff is that we didn’t have adult supervision as much as people do now. I think that’s something that’s slightly less good for being creative. I think people are a little bit too careful. But I’m not advocating danger!
"I also think that people should be patient. That’s an attribute that most people don’t think about: patience. Especially in young people and women it’s very crucial because often people give up. You just have to be patient because things need time. There’s a time for everything. For example, making the first Shirkers I was probably an early bloomer and now I’m a probably a late bloomer. There is a perfect time for everything. You never know when things are going to happen."
Editor's note: This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity. Shirkers is available on Netflix now.
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From shakes to meat, and eggs to Soylent, lots of bodybuilding bros have a love affair with protein without fully understanding what the macronutrient does. The overarching belief is that the more protein you eat or drink, the better your performance and and bigger your muscles will be — but that's not exactly how the human body works.
Generally speaking, the body can utilise up to 20-30 grams of protein at one time, meaning each meal or every few hours, says Melissa Bailey, MS, RD, LDN, a clinical dietitian in Philadelphia. Anything over 30 grams won't speed up the muscle-repair process, it'll just get converted for storage for later use or turn into fat, she says. Some protein may get converted into glucose, which you need for energy, for example. So, it's not that extra protein immediately goes to waste, it just gets stored differently in the body.
It's important to remember that your daily protein needs depend on your lifestyle, Bailey says. The Recommended Dietary Allowance suggests that you should consume about 0.8 grams of protein a day for each kilogram you weigh (or, 0.36 grams per pound). Athletes tend to require more protein, so a super-fit bodybuilder might aim for 1.5 grams per kilogram. And a breastfeeding person might need an extra 15-20 grams of protein per day. (To get a sense of how much protein you should aim for each day, this handy calculator can help you.)
At the end of the day, protein does more than just build muscles, so there are numerous reasons why you should be eating it. Protein keeps you full, and enables vital chemical reactions, like transporting oxygen through your blood or breaking down food. If you want to prioritise eating protein at each meal for any of those reasons, that's great! "But drinking multiple shakes throughout the day and adding them to meals that already include protein doesn't really add much benefit," Bailey says. Sorry, bros.
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I will admit it now: For most of 2018, I hid my Jewish pride.
Two weeks ago, I was at The Wing in New York to see Transparent creator Jill Soloway launch her new book, She Wants It: Desire, Power, and Toppling the Patriarchy. I have known Jill for years through Reboot, a Jewish collective of creatives, entrepreneurs, academics and activists reconnecting to their Jewishness in modern, creative ways, and was proud and excited to be there. It was packed but I found a bunch of Rebooter friends, and smooshed them together for a photo, because of course, Instagram. I went to tag Reboot in the post – look! Here we all are! – and then the tag came up: @RebootJewish.
I hesitated for a moment, but it was a short moment. I didn't tag.
I didn't tag because I didn't want to flag that I was Jewish. It's not that I was expecting blowback on Insta – I have a reliable group of story-viewers and most of them are there for the toddler content with a side of rage-posts about the current administration. I just didn't want to call attention to it. Because, well, you just never know.
You just never know who is an anti-Semite, who secretly hates Jews. It's not a secret on Twitter, where the anti-Semitic hate is there for all to see in oven memes sent to journalists and completely not-veiled triple parenthesis icons –you've probably seen them: ((( ))) –that the alt-right puts around names to flag their Jewishness. It certainly wasn't secret in the chants from tiki-torch carrying white nationalists in Charlottesville last year: "Jews will not replace us! "
(Do you think it was secret when Trump said that Charlottesville had "very fine people" on both sides, called departing Chief Economic Advisor Gary Cohn a globalist during a Cabinet meeting ("he may be a Globalist but I still like him "), and declared himself a nationalist just last week? I do not.)
Back to my tagging, and pointed lack thereof. I did not tag @RebootJewish anywhere on my Instagrams from Jill's talk, even though the Jewishness in her Transparent thrilled me and felt personal to me in every way, from the familiarity of the Pfefferman clan to my love of Rabbi Raquel to my different, more fierce love for the 1930s Yetta hiding a family jewel in a bar of chocolate (played by Michaela Watkins, another amazing Rebooter), even though Jewishness is the nexus for my knowing Jill in the first place. And besides, Transparent is first and foremost about the trans experience (just look at its title), and was groundbreaking for highlighting and mainstreaming trans storytelling and notions of gender fluidity. That's what a nice Jewish liberal like myself ought to be highlighting, anyway. Right? From the safety of my cis-white-lady privilege, it was much safer to focus on the othering of another group.
But for Jews, that safety is fragile. We know that all too well after the brutal slaughter at the Tree of Life Synagogue on Saturday morning. Eleven Jews, gunned down by a hateful, anti-Semitic white supremacist as they prayed. A white supremacist who screamed "All Jews must die" as he opened fire on a roomful of elderly people. He had posted anti-refugee bile on the loathsome Gab.com previously, but his target were Jews, so easily lumped in by white supremacists into everything that they hate. It was the worst massacre of Jews on American soil. Murdered for being Jewish, in the United States. In 2018.
And in New York, just two weeks ago, I declined to tag a photo of proud Jewish women who knew each other through a beloved Jewish group because the tag had the word "Jewish" in it. But that was before Pittsburgh, when, to me, it felt safer not to trumpet my Jewishness everywhere. And I love trumpeting my Jewishness! I was the freaking co-host of a women's current events show on The Jewish Channel. I was on the Heeb 100 and the Forward 50. And I love being in Reboot. And back in 2016 when journalists were being targeted on Twitter, I put the ((( ))) around my Twitter handle too, in defiance, but as the weeks went on it started to feel more and more uncomfortable. (I have a young daughter, and scary thoughts come to me sometimes, like when an angry man slides into your DMs to tell you he's coming to find you, bitch.) Why draw attention? I took it off.
Why draw attention? In the wake of the murders of my fellow Jews in Pittsburgh I wrestle with that question, knowing that it is my responsibility to be Jewish with pride and visibility, in defiance of hate. The murder of Jews for their Jewishness is a clear sign that we are more vulnerable now, but also - maybe paradoxically - makes the choice more clear, too. Before, it was the ominous rise of anti-Semitic incidents and disquieting proliferation of ugly Twitter trolls that hinted at an elevated risk; now, alas, the worst fears have come to pass. So now it is a question of response, and action, rather than the passivity of just hoping you can sit this one out.
I connect deeply to the Jewish notion of 'tikkun olam' – which literally means 'repairing the world' - but that is not work to be done quietly, especially in 2018. Silence is about safety, but also passivity. It is also about privilege, because as a cis white woman I have the option to blend in with, say, the 53% of white women who voted for Trump. That option was not available to Maurice Stallard and Vickie Jones, murdered last week at a grocery store in Kentucky just because they were black. The gunman had tried to enter a black church, but the door was locked, so he found his victims elsewhere. When I think of it that way, my don't-make-waves silence starts to feel an awful lot like complacency, which is pretty damned close to complicity.
Complicity is to look around and say, “Eh, this seems fine.” The Rev. William Barber posted on Twitter with a reminder of Martin Luther King Jr’s words following the Birmingham church bombing in 1963 (55 years ago) which killed four little girls: "We must be concerned not merely about who murdered them, but about the system, the way of life, the philosophy which produced the murderer." It is not incidental that in his attack on Jews in synagogue, the Pittsburgh killer was also attacking tikkun olam – Jews repairing the world by helping refugees. It is all connected.
Back to Reboot (@RebootJewish on Instagram, to labour a point!) The central question of Reboot is, as Jews, what are we inheriting, and what do we plan to do with it? I love what I am inheriting as a Jew – my traditions, my stories, my history, my prayers, my jokes about such small portions. And what I am also inheriting is an existence that comes with a legacy of persecution, and the dangers of persecution now and in the future. So I will speak up loudly against all persecution. (Cue Martin Niemöller, who may seem familiar from a sudden spate of Instagrams, reminding us that speaking up against injustice can go both ways.) Anyone who thinks they can pick and choose between atrocities that matter is dead wrong, and morally wrong. (This is not a debate. Do not debate this point. Especially not on Facebook. Oy. Just no.) There's room for everyone on the right side of history.
So I will speak up. And I will tag defiantly. And I will say "oy" now and forever. And I will ask myself, about everything: What am I inheriting? And what do I plan to do with it?
And then I will speak my answer. Loudly.
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If your beauty routine was a relationship, hair and makeup would be holding hands while nails... well, they'd be the unfortunate third wheel. Face it: Compared to how much time and energy you put into doing your hair and makeup (or at least, thinking about doing your hair and makeup), nails usually come in last place. Almost always, painting — even the bare minimum: filing — your nails comes as an afterthought. But we're here to say, that stops now.
Getting your nails done can be tedious and, depending on where you go, expensive as hell, so it's no wonder most settle for plain polish or nothing at all. But that's not good enough for us. As much as we love a pretty nude manicure, we also love to get inspired and have our fingertips painted in the kind of designs that aren't only Insta-worthy, but can totally be on the wall of the Louvre. Ready to book your appointment? Keep clicking.
Ahead, the best nail art you should try in November.
We long ago settled that negative space is one of the easiest and raddest trends to copy. But make the blank space angled, and you've got longer-looking nails in seconds.
Scorpios are driven by their passion, and nothing is more tragically intense than a mani inspired by two star-crossed lovers.
Looking for a design you can try at home? This one requires you to freehand paint random brush strokes of different colours at the tip of your nail. (Go ahead and add foil if you're feeling extra.)
Friends don't let friends not vote. Remind everyone you see to get to the polls on November 6 with this funky art.
When it was on Nickelodeon, it was gross. Now, slime is... badass?
Nail art newbies will appreciate anything with foil accents. Not only is it quick and not nearly as expensive as some of the more ornate manicures, but it looks extra good for an extra long time.
This white-out look not only elongates the nails, but also adds cuticle art as a sweet little detail.
Just let my love, just let my love adorn you...
Yes, accent nails are still cool — and fun for anyone who doesn't want to be too loud with their art. After all, it's fall and there's no better time to be inspired by the changing foliage.
Take orbit nails and go one galaxy further. Leave the lines open-ended and layer over a glittered polish.
Warning: This one might trigger your Trypophobia. (Still, it's so pretty.)
Looking for something that will look good — even if it chips? Go for this rainbow confetti decor. No one will notice if it's been two weeks and you still haven't replaced the polish.
Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian West beef aside: Snakes are cool, especially on your nails.
We'll call this one Funfetti Frosting.
It isn't snowing yet, but this frosted mani is getting us in the mood for hot cocoa, fireside cuddles, and sweater weather.
Wonder Woman shields fit for your tips.
Tell your kindergarten teacher that colouring outside the lines is — finally! — recommended.
Like a glass slipper on Cinderella's foot...
Remember cable TV?
Music can be just as inspiring as your Instagram feed. This mani is a 10-finger tribute to A Tribe Called Quest.
One of the cardinal rules of breakups is that after a relationship ends, both parties are just supposed to "focus on themselves," as if turning away from the heartbreak and person who caused it will solve all of your problems.
Most of the time, "focusing on yourself" just means that someone is not going to engage in more relationships or put the energy into dating again, says Esther Boykin, LMFT, a relationship therapist in Washington D.C. This can be a helpful step for people who feel like there are parts of themselves that they lost or haven't given enough attention to while in a relationship, she says. So, how do you begin to focus on yourself? Is it a matter of deleting all your dating apps and becoming a hermit? Do you have to spend time journaling until you figure your life out? Not really, and focusing on yourself is easier than it sounds.
To start, you've got to separate your life into quadrants: your relationships, overall physical wellbeing, mental state (including emotional health and anything that stimulates you intellectually), and community or spirit, Boykin says. Then, think about which areas of life are going really well, and which ones need extra support, she says. "If people are a little more intentional about choosing an area of focus, it isn't overwhelming," she says. From there, you can take tangible steps to improve or foster the quadrants that you feel need it the most.
For example, maybe you've always wanted to learn a foreign language, or take a pottery class, but never had the time in a relationship. Or perhaps you want to expand your circle and make time for friends and family. Or maybe all you ever do is go out to drinks with your friends, and you want to do something more creative, like start a book club or spend time in nature. If any of those things make you feel good, then amazing — you're focusing on yourself. "Self care doesn't have to be doing things by yourself, and even 'focusing on me,'" Boykin says.
Even people in relationships can benefit from focusing on themselves, because it's easy to get caught up in your partner's needs when you're in a relationship, Boykin says. "Especially if people move into the stage of the relationship where your day-to-day routine is intwined with someone else," she says. "You stop thinking about, Well, what new things do I want to learn or do for myself? " Figure out how to have a balance and create structure in your life so you can have time alone and connect with others, she says. It's kind of like the oxygen mask metaphor: You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others.
Throughout this process, it's important to remember that "very rarely is a thing you need the opposite of what you have," Boykin says. In other words, the solution to your dating problems might not be to swear off dating. Or if a relationship ended badly, that doesn't mean that you should never be in a relationship ever again. To that same point, if you're someone who enjoys being alone, you don't have to go out and be social, and vice versa. "Create more time for whichever of those experiences gives you the most energy or makes you feel the most nourished or nurtured in your life," she says.
In other words: do you, whoever that is.
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