Welcome to Refinery29’s career column Advice From A Nice Girl.Every month, readers can askFran Hauser, bona fide boss and author of the bookThe Myth Of The Nice Girl, about their hardest career quandaries, from managing an overly emotional boss to overcoming their biggest work fear. But this advice column comes with a twist — the reader has to take Fran’s advice and report back.
This month, we hear from a 38-year-old digital editor in New York City who worries that maybe her team is taking advantage of her niceness.
Question: I have this new fear that my niceness is getting in the way of my team doing their best work. At best, it feels like they take advantage of me, which is annoying (i.e. rolling into work late, sneaking out early). At worst, I worry that they aren't really hearing my feedback and not improving. When I think back on the times in my early career when I really excelled, I often had a really mean boss. There's nothing like the fear of being yelled at to motivate people to do good work, right? I know that's not true, but I'm really concerned that they think I'm a pushover and it's not good for anyone. Help!
Fran's Response: Your instincts are right: Yelling as a tool for motivation is a short-term fix, not a long-term solution to creating a collaborative, high-performing team. Research shows that a positive work environment leads to greater productivity, lower turnover, and even better health outcomes for employees.
That said, it is possible to take niceness too far and allow ourselves to be a pushover or people pleaser. That’s when your kindness stops being an asset and becomes a liability. I know this all too well — empathy is my Achilles’ heel. I have a natural tendency to worry so much about how I’m affecting others that I sometimes let that impulse get in my way. It’s been a lifelong struggle for me to find that perfect balance between being nice and being strong at work.
But I’ve learned that it’s possible to be accommodating and assertive; authoritative and likeable at the same time. First, don’t beat yourself over this. Cut yourself some slack, because most women I talk to struggle with the same exact push and pull as a manager. The fact that you’re reaching out for help is a solid first step.
Next, you have to show your team that you are a kind yet strong leader. Here are four tactics to try:
Don’t let bad behaviour slide. If someone is rolling into work late repeatedly, you can say, "Just so we are clear, don’t mistake my kindness for permission to underperform at your job. You need to be on time." This shows that you’re not afraid to step up and own your niceness instead of apologising for it, while being direct with feedback. Stress the fact that this is a trusting relationship. If someone needs to leave early or has to arrive late, you trust that they will still get their work done. But you also trust them to communicate schedule challenges with you. Use the opportunity to find out if something else is going on causing the need for a shift in schedule (empathy + authority).
Focus on the company’s goals and performance. I’ve found that the most motivated teams are ones who are working toward a goal that they believe in — or at least understand why it’s important. Take this opportunity to have a full team meeting and discuss your collective goals and expectations and the WHY behind them. You could say, "I don’t manage based on fear, I manage based on expectations and here is what I expect." Welcome any questions or input.
Start with a mentorship mentality. If there’s an employee who is not meeting expectations, discuss together what she needs to better perform in her role; or what additional professional development or learning you can offer. By asserting your role as a leader who genuinely cares about the success of each of your team members — and not one that makes excuses for or ignores poor performance — you will have proven you have both empathy and high expectations.
Revisit how you’re delivering feedback. If you think that someone is not hearing you — or not listening — schedule one-on-one time with that employee to discuss his or her performance. It is possible to give feedback directly and kindly (see the advice I shared here). The basic rules: Be considerate but candid. And be willing to listen. Put it back on the employee: Ask what he thinks of his performance. Then, at the end of the conversation, discuss next steps and ask him or her to email you in the next couple of days with an action plan. This will allow you to ascertain if your feedback is being processed and retained.
Through your success, confidence, and all-around sense of authenticity, you can prove to your team that being nice and effective are not mutually exclusive. And that there is no doormat outside your office.
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Ikea is a haven for affordable home goods that actually look chic enough for you to want to put them in your house. Because of this, we jump on new furniture line releases and willingly — for the most part — spend full Saturdays roaming around the Ikea store. Still, even with all that we love about the retail chain, it's rare for us to stop and think about what it's like to work there.
To find out how Ikea employees really feel about working for this global home goods chain, we talked to three people: Haidee, who worked at an Ikea store in Florida; Justin, who worked returns and home delivery at a US Ikea location; and one current UK Ikea employee that wished to remain anonymous. From confused customers and organisation restructuring to benefits and furniture assembly, these employees get honest about working at Ikea.
What is/was the best thing about your work experience?
"I worked in Småland where they take care of customer's children. I was forced to work as a team so the other coworkers and I built a great bond. And most of the team leaders, as well, were nice and understanding. If something happened, they would do their best to solve issues that we had. If we were needed elsewhere or needed a break, the managers would jump in for us. If there was a situation with the customer that made us feel uncomfortable, most of the managers would come in." - Haidee
"Being able to work by myself and not have to work in groups if needed. I worked returns/home delivery and was able to do almost anything by myself without having to ask others for help and be very independent with my job." - Justin
"I work with a fantastic team. I'm in my late 50s and went to Ikea with no retail experience. There is no one in the store I wouldn't be happy to sit and have a cuppa with. The ethos is great. Some of the managers are truly inspiring, they will do any task they ask us to do... I work alongside equally passionate staff." - Anonymous Ikea UK employee
What is/was the worst thing about your work experience?
"The worst part was, in 2017, Ikea started reorganising and restructuring. After that, people started quitting and they weren't being replaced, so the workload became a lot heavier. They were expecting us to complete all these tasks, but there weren't enough of us and there wasn't proper training. That's when it started to fall apart for me, I guess. They called it Organisation for Growth, O4G." - Haidee
"No set hours, so I have no routine. Rotas are often not available for more than 2 weeks in advance, so it's difficult to plan... The work is physically hard. I am standing my whole shift with my feet on concrete floors in steel toecap shoes for upwards of five hours. You don't get off on time. You are expected to arrive 15 minutes before your shift so you can get your till float, but you don't finish until the time your shift ends. They dock you 15 minutes pay if you clock in even one second late... There are 'favourites' who get to choose when they work and which functions they do... I was given a formal notice to improve my attendance because I had three odd days off sick in my first six months of employment... I have never in my 40+ years of previous employment had any disciplinary issues. I felt that it was incredibly unsupportive and since then, have been really worried about sickness." - Anonymous Ikea UK employee
Do you feel you are/were paid fairly? What about benefits?
"In the beginning, I was. When I started, I was happy because I was doing retail, and I was getting paid more than other retail stores for sure. The benefits were great. During that time period, my dad passed, and they were so kinds. They gave me out hours for bereavement, and they paid two weeks. They told me 'Come back whenever you're ready.' They were really nice about it. Then, when O4G happened, things got worse because of the workload and no pay increases… It wasn't worth it for the stress." - Haidee
"No. Absolutely not. I made $11/hr working 40-hour weeks doing more than my managers would do... [The managers] got an unlimited pool of vacation so they could take vacation for as long as they needed. They didn't have to go by the same attendance rules as coworkers and would be able to leave a shift early if 'it wasn't busy'... Benefits were okay. Not the best, but the only thing I liked over my current job was Ikea offered pet insurance." - Justin
"We get £9 GBP per hour, which is above national minimum wage... The pay is okay, but contracts are low hours so I take home between £750/£800 per month, which is not enough to live on. I have no entitlement to benefits. There is a staff dining room with free drinks and the food is subsidised so you could eat for free every day if you choose the healthy option, but there is no provision for special diets... A four-hour shift has no break and a six-hour shift has 20-minutes paid break. Above six hours, no breaks are paid other than the 20 minutes. Again, mean." - Anonymous Ikea U.K. employee
Do/did you get any perks or discounts?
"We had a cafeteria for the staff and that was a good benefit. I think it was only $2 or $3 that we had to pay for a meal. You got your salad, chicken, and mashed potatoes, like a whole meal for only like two or three bucks. When you would do a good job, some managers would treat you to a free meal at the restaurant, where you could get anything. And, we had a 15% discount at the store." - Haidee
"15% off merch. That's it. 10 years at the company makes you a coworker for life so you can use the 15% for the rest of your life even if you leave the company." - Justin
"For Ikea UK/IE's 75th birthday, all staff were given a €75 gift card, then later in the year, a one-off 25% discount code for a single purchase. We get a Christmas present each year and an Easter egg" - Anonymous Ikea U.K. employee
"Yeah, myself and a lot of my friends I worked with. They called it O4G (Organisation for Growth). Our store went from 269 employees to about 130 within a couple months. When I left, there were 110 coworkers total, now there's about 100 or so. Everyone has to juggle different jobs, which is what they want. It is fine because there's no reason for two people to be in charge of 'making cardboard boxes' for as-is items, which got absorbed into a team of 15 that makes them as needed." - Justin
"The Ikea I worked in was two floors. The first floor, it was fine, but by the second floor, everyone gets frustrated. Our Ikea was one of the biggest, so a lot of customers would get lost. You would see couples that one of them was done with it and one of them wanted to continue seeing everything. It didn't happen a lot though." - Haidee
"My favourite couple story is when I was still new and had this really massive alpha male slam two cabinet doors onto my station, shouting 'how difficult is it to give me the right doors? I wanted white! These are blue!!!' His wife, a tiny lady, was behind him shaking her head. As he berated me, I slowly peeled the adhesive protective blue plastic film off exposing his hi-gloss white doors. His wife whooped with laughter and gently slapped him across the back of his head... He did apologise, to be fair." - Anonymous Ikea U.K. employee
"I have a gross story. Sometimes I'd have to go around and pick up the yellow bags around the store that people leave. One time, I picked one up, and there was this nasty odour. I opened it and — sorry, I'm sharing this — it was a child's diaper. It's amazing what customers do, man." - Haidee
"People bring items back in dreadful condition. I had a chap return a used toilet cleaning brush complete with toilet content and used tissue stuck to it, but he had his receipt so…" - Anonymous Ikea UK employee
People often joke about how difficult Ikea furniture is to assemble. Do/did you ever have to assemble any for the showroom? Do you think the pieces are hard to put together?
"Anything taller than yourself is always going to be hard to put together, like Pax. If there's downtime on the sales floor and a display needs to be made, you can go in the back and build it." - Justin
"The instructions are pictogram to reduce print run wastage. By not having language except on the first few pages, it allows the document to be used in multiple regions. This is both a good and frustrating scenario. I'm all for the Ikea 'be kind to people and the planet' value and am hoping to get involved with the new recycling project starting soon at our store, but some people (sadly, myself included) are pathologically unable to build Ikea furniture. My son, on the other hand, instinctively knows how to use the instruction... Our build team is amazing. They are gods in my eyes — so happy to help customers with queries about building products and in desperate times, have actually helped build items with customers in-store." - Anonymous Ikea UK employee
Are/were most of the people you encounter nice?
"Yeah, most of them were nice. In Småland, we had a lot of returning customers, so there were relationships that we built with some of the parents. There was this one customer whose daughter was autistic. She had trouble making friends at school so the mother would bring her daughter to Småland in order for her to interact with other kids, and we saw that girl grow up." - Haidee
"In my department, no. Returns and Home Delivery is the most stressful department in the building because it has to do with thousands of dollars of merch and people want their money back." - Justin
"I love most of our customers!! They become almost friends. Especially the older ones who come in every week for their fish and chips and free cup of tea (available with family cards Monday to Friday). You hear about their families, where they went on holiday, and they introduce you to friends and family when they come in. It needs to be borne in mind that you may be the only person that individual has spoken to that day. I always try to find something to chat about if we are not too busy. Really old customers make your heart glad. We have a couple where he is 98 and his wife is 94. He drives to store, they eat in our restaurant, and have a look at the room sets. Small children are good for comedy, especially when they are carrying soft toys bigger than they are. I get to meet lovely people day in and day out, and I hope that their Ikea experience is improved for having met me." - Anonymous Ikea UK employee
How do/did you deal with angry customers?
"I cried. In the beginning, I would tell my manager to come in for me because I'm very sensitive. I'd get red and I'd automatically cry. Then, I would tell myself 'Okay, it's not worth it to argue with them,' so I would just say sorry. We would get a lot of angry customers because our inventory was always off, and I'd feel bad for them, so I'd say sorry. But there were situations when we had to call security. At Småland, for safety purposes, whoever drops off a child has to sign a paper and that signature has to match the signature used when you check out. So, one time, a mom dropped off the kids, but the dad wanted to pick them up. We told him, 'No, sir. I'm sorry. Their mom has to come back,' and he got really upset. He was screaming, 'Those are my children,' and he kicked the door, so we had to call security." - Haidee
"We don't. The minute someone raises their voice or gets anywhere near being rude or snarky, we refuse service and ignore them and call for security to remove them from the building. That is how my store was. We had zero tolerance for belligerent and rude customers." - Justin
Do you have a favourite Ikea product?
"Because I work with kids — now, I volunteer with kids — I get the toys from the Ikea children's department. The kitchen set, for example, I like that item the kids." - Haidee
"Stockholm series and Hemnes. Any Scandinavian Modern or Modern furniture we sell is my favourite.” - Justin
"I have a Hemnes bed and Hövåg mattress combination that is my first-ever new bed (I've always had to buy secondhand as I've never had enough for new). I could happily live in my bed, snuggled under my new feather duvet and cotton sheet. I also adore the Kallax multipurpose storage. It's so versatile and can have doors, shelves, drawers, or just Dröna boxes in it." - Anonymous Ikea UK employee
Do/did you ever eat at the Ikea food court? If so, do/did you have a favourite food?
"I did have a favourite food there, but they took it out. It was chicken stuffed with ham and cheese. I know everyone loves the meatballs, but I don't like the meatballs. I think my mum makes better meatballs. The fish is pretty good sometimes." - Haidee
What's something you wish people knew about working at Ikea?
"A lot of times, Ikea promotes that it's 'the best place to work,' and I think that is true for some stores. There was a social media app — I can't remember the name — where different Ikeas could post, and after O4G happened, there were some locations that would post positive messages, but others would be like, 'Hey, are we the only store that's struggling right now?' People were being really honest. At my store, it turned really ugly because people had to work weekends all the time. You were never able to get a weekend off because they needed you because we were short-staffed, and without a staff, your department can't function. For some Ikeas, it was a great place to work, but at my location, a lot of people left because they weren't happy with the work environment and the work morale. There were people there that had worked at my store since day one because it's not that old of a location, and they stayed obviously because of the pay and the benefits, but they wish it was back to how it used to be. If O4G never happened, I think it would be a better Ikea." - Haidee
"I wish customers realised that I have an undergraduate degree in applied human biochemistry and a master's degree in science communication. I am not working at Ikea because I am incapable of working elsewhere, although, at my age, graduate employment is almost impossible to find. Ikea never even asked for my date of birth until I signed my contract. They are truly inclusive and have fantastic diversity. I just wish they were more organised... I've repeatedly asked for consecutive days off and longer shifts over fewer days, but it falls on deaf ears. To be perfectly honest, I love my coworker team and most customers and certainly don't dread going to work, but I am afraid that one whilst pushing a heavily laden trolly, I will drop down dead. We work exceedingly hard both physically and mentally... I really want to help shoppers, and I hope that our customers can feel that when they meet me. I just wish I felt more valued by management and leadership treated every single staff member equitably." - Anonymous Ikea UK employee
Refinery29 has reached out to Ikea for comment but has yet to receive a response. We will update accordingly.
Conversations have been edited for length and clarity.
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The final season of Easy on Netflix got its very own #MeToo storyline. I guess that’s how you could describe episode 6 of the third and final series. Or you could call it the Marc Maron episode. Or you could use its actual title: "Blank Pages". For me, it's the episode that made me tired.
Following the news in any capacity requires us to withstand a barrage of stories about sexual assault and harassment and very often, television is my one salvation and distraction. It’s inevitable that such a movement should infiltrate our fiction, too. Good, even. Potentially profound. It’s just exhausting, to be angry while I’m trying to relax.
So here we are, watching Marc Maron play successful but brooding graphic novelist Jacob again. His novels have always been about his past relationships, told without the consent of his former partners. In this episode, he must find out what it’s like to be the one written about, as he learns that a former student of his has written him into her own graphic novel. His agent tells him the extract about him is not flattering. She alleges that there was a power imbalance, she being his 26-year-old student at the time, and he is immediately deeply concerned…about how he will fare in a society that is finally speaking about precisely these sorts of abuses.
Jane Adams & Marc Maron in Easy Courtesy of Netflix
First of all, of course this character deserves a contentious sexual backstory. He has just the sort of foppish charisma and ego for it to be entirely believable that he would take advantage of his position as a teacher and seduce a young woman with a litany of professional praise and promise. It is so him. He is an egregious jerk in this series, but he’s also witty and a bit of a silver fox, so we haven’t learned to straight-up hate him. We don’t have a generous reserve of pity for him, though, given his history of dismissing women’s pain, shagging hot young girls and ignoring the obvious adoration of his female best friend, Annabelle (played by the awesome Jane Adams). When Jacob hears that he’s been accused of 'behaving badly', he cannot even specifically recall what happened with this woman. It’s been 15 years and he has barely given her a second thought. He taught her, he seduced her, he forgot her. Because of course he did. This is a man who has only ever had time for his own side of the story.
Maron's character is an egregious jerk, but he's also witty and a bit of a silver fox, so we haven't learned to straight-up hate him.
When Jacob meets his former student for a confrontational latte, he has to listen to her side. As we hear from her, he used to tell her that her work was groundbreaking, special and interesting. He told her that she was going to make it as a writer. This praise – from a mentor, from a lover – was consuming and beguiling for her. Of course she wanted to sleep with him; it was the ultimate gesture of approval from a man she admired. She confused her professional desires with her sexual desires; he deliberately played to her vulnerabilities and her dreams in order to sleep with her. It’s a classic abuse of power and exactly the sort of revelation we are getting, now that (some) women are able to speak about the people in power who’ve done them wrong.
It’s quite interesting to watch Jacob learn how his behaviour affected this woman. He has to at least begrudgingly acknowledge that she is entitled to her perspective and he even congratulates her for writing what she has, which is just as well, given that his entire career is based on the assumption that brutal emotional honesty is more important than a subject’s feelings. He didn’t realise his liaison with his former student Beth was inappropriate at all because that’s precisely the sort of accusation he’d count himself immune to. He then has to hear straight from her that she was crushed by it; immobilised both in her career and her personal life. She was made to feel small, insignificant. She learned to question whether she deserves any success or has any talent, because the most important arbiter of that slept with and then discarded her – the worst review she’s ever had for her work. She was stung and confused and wounded and unable to proceed with her life, which we know is how a lot of women feel when they’ve been through an encounter like this. She gets an apology, which is at least minimally gratifying, if not wonderfully satisfying.
All of this goes on, by the way, at the time Jacob chooses to sleep with Annabelle and then ignore her the next day. When she asks him "Do I even exist?" he yells "Fuck you" in her direction several times. He's clearly not a fast learner. Not when it comes to empathy, patience, or how to treat women. He has the great privilege of Annabelle’s steadfast loyalty and he still treats her as utterly disposable. They make up by the end of the episode but they don’t sleep together again immediately – mostly because, as they say laughingly, they’re "too tired". SAME. This whole episode made me tired. Angry-tired. I am exasperated to see a man behaving as though his precious career trumps the feelings of the women he’s manipulated. Jacob is another guy who's lived his life comfortable in the knowledge that his is the only version of the story that matters. It is, at least, comforting to watch a female character given the chance to challenge that.
All three seasons of Easy are on Netflix now
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If, during these lovely spring days, you find yourself looking ahead to even more glorious summer ones and the prospect of bare-legs in short-sleeve dresses, the open-toed shoes you'll be wearing might at first seem to be trolling you. Designed initially for uphill trekking, not for sipping Aperol on the Amalfi coast, there’s no ignoring the fact that hiking sandals have crossed over from functional to fashionable this season.
"For spring, we are seeing the trend around the trainer inspire a sportier version of sandals," explains Cassie Smart, Matches Fashion 's head of womenswear buying. She pinpoints two styles of this shoe. The first, by the likes of Chloé, Gucci and Acne, presents a chunky iteration that will appeal to the fashion pioneer. But, she adds, "this trend also engages the purist customer with brands like The Row offering an elegant, minimal walking sandal."
While the weather is still playing catch-up to our summer fantasies, now is the perfect time to get your head around the latest 'ugly shoe' trend. Think of it as the natural continuation of winter’s hiking boot moment, but breezier.
Characterised by ankle support, a vulcanised sole and Velcro closures, it doesn’t sound like the sexiest shoe. It's banking on the ironic appeal that has transformed Birkenstocks, sliders, bum bags, dad trainers, and socks with sandals from tourist traps into self-styled statements. Harnessing the utilitarian power exhibited in all these normcore forerunners, the hiking sandal is undeniably practical. Come summer holidays, sweaty feet once bereft of comfort in blistering jelly shoes and toe-carving flip flops will be relieved by a sandal that is both covetable and comfortable.
Teva is arguably the originator of this polarising sandal but this season they aren’t the only ones dipping a toe in the water. Dries Van Noten and Chanel have eagerly created their own versions of the silhouette, as has Nanushka (in an arresting mauve satin and tamer black vegan leather) and Zara (in neon). Even UGG, traditionally known for their range of boots, have joined the revolution with their new offering, Le Fluff. One of the most popular among insiders, however, is a little known label called Arizona Love.
"I love to customise my clothes," confides label founder Leslie Halfon, whose bandana-wrapped hiking sandals have graced the Instagrammed feet of Pandora Sykes, Lucy Williams and Blanca Miró. "Last year just before my summer vacay, I played around with one of my trekky shoes and a scarf and in a minute it looked like magic," she says of her cult shoes' origin story. Ultimately, she admits, their easy ingratiation with the fashion community is imperceptibly tied to the hard fact that "the shoes are very comfy".
Those buying into the trend now will be relieved to know that Net-A-Porter is backing the longevity of its appeal, with plans to add 35 new trekking sandals to their offering in AW19 (including a highly anticipated pearl-encrusted pair by Cecilie Bahnsen). In other words, these shoes have a life beyond summer, so it's time to invest. Your feet will thank you.
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After a teenagehood of terrible at-home dye jobs and dodgy cuts by my BFF in her back garden, I found my failsafe hair formula a few years ago. Blonde balayage and virtually the same haircut every time: a slight side parting, a longish fringe and layers to frame my round face. Having found my happy hair place, I’m therefore risk-averse at the salon, and never get the fun of experimenting with cool in-season cuts (like the shag).
That's why I was so intrigued to hear about the calligraphy cut technique. Originating in Germany, it's currently trending all over Instagram, and like midlights and the razor cut, has since made its way into some of the coolest hair salons in Paris and LA. Instead of a standard pair of scissors, the technique consists of a unique tool – an angled blade to cut the hair’s ends on a diagonal, the same 21-degree angle at which florists cut flower stems. According to the pros, this maximises the surface area of each strand of hair, so lengths can absorb more conditioner and moisture, resulting in bouncier, fuller and even longer looking hair. Yes, longer, even though you're technically cutting off inches.
The unusual tool can be used to cut most hair types and to create most styles, such as long layers, blunt cut bobs and pixie cuts, though isn't best suited to thick, curly hair. Stylists who swear by the technique – so-called because the cutting tool is held like a calligraphy pen – say it helps promote the overall health of the hair, leaving ends looking and feeling softer than they usually do when cut with scissors or even a razor.
Happily, a calligraphy cut would allow me to stay loyal to my #look while also experimenting with something new in the hair department. While hairstylists around the globe are championing the cut, there's a catch, as it's currently only available in one UK salon – Frankie Cochrane in Holborn, central London – at the hands of two stylists who have been specifically trained over the course of three years. Despite being very much under-the-radar here, Paul Cochrane, the salon’s owner and director, believes the calligraphy technique is the next stage in hairdressing. "Because of the unique 21-degree angle at which hair is cut, the hair sits with a lightness and a healthiness that isn't delivered with any other razor or scissors," he told me. Paul can’t fathom why other UK hairstylists aren’t rushing to embrace it like the rest of the world, as the salon frequently sees women who've had it done abroad and hunted them down to recreate the effect. "The calligraphy cut is being grasped everywhere else around the world: Australia, New York, California, Florida, Russia... Yet in London, we’re the only ones that do it."
So what happens during the cut? Well, stylists always employ a skill called feathering. Designed for straight hair to give it more shape and volume, it's pretty much finely textured layering without the severe step look. This is noticeably more relaxing than a typical haircut because the way they hold the hair mimics the techniques of Indian head massage. The tapping and pulling relaxed tension in my scalp and left me feeling uncharacteristically chilled for 10am on a weekday.
As you can tell, a bizarre but totally welcome outcome of a calligraphy cut is that your hair can look and feel longer when you're done than when you first set foot in the salon – perfect if you're trying to grow your hair and reluctantly book haircuts just to get rid of straggly ends. I was, to put it mildly, sceptical about this new haircut technique, but I was shocked by how the length of my hair seemed to have barely changed, despite having a good few inches' worth of split ends taken off. My only gripe is that it took nearly three times as long as my usual cut...
A week after the appointment – and the blow dry you see above – my ends still feel softer, more voluminous and are free of split ends (despite my ongoing daily ghd habit, which the salon ordered me to cut down on – sorry!). It's a wonder that more salons haven't given the calligraphy cut a try.
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Long relegated to resort-wear and our summer holiday packing, over recent seasons linen has become a mainstay on the runways and in our wardrobes. Like veganism, the secondhand shopping boom, and even fashion's return to the '70s – the period in which the environmental movement took off – linen's return can be credited to an ever more eco-conscious consumer and a wish to return to simplicity (such as woven textures, other raw materials and earthy tones).
On the SS19 runways, Jacquemus, Tibi and Rejina Pyo continued to make the most of the fabric, in the form of flowing, goddess-like gowns and daring uber-mini dresses (Jacquemus), relaxed incarnations of the Bermuda short (Rejina Pyo) and oversized suiting (Tibi). Indie label Kage even dedicated its SS19 lookbook to the fabric, offering textured separates and playful jumpsuits.
Thanks to its lightness and natural breathability, linen is the ideal choice for hot, sticky summer days. The high street is awash not only with holiday-ready sundresses and jumpsuits (check out ASOS and Nasty Gal) but also office-appropriate blouses and suits (& Other Stories and Mango). At the higher end of the scale, our favourite brands for linen pieces are Staud (think prairie girl blouses), Faithfull The Brand (which has garnered a reputation for pretty linen sundresses) and Zimmerman (a Sydney-based brand favoured by Aussie fashion girls like Emily Yates and Olivia Cooke).
While many of us have a linen horror story to tell ("it looked fine on the hanger..."), in 2019 it's time to embrace the creases – they're part of linen's easy, breezy charm. If you're still scared, aim for structured pieces such as blazers, form-fitting tops, dresses that cinch at the waist and pieces with detailing that will distract (like pockets, print and buttons).
Ahead, we've rounded up our favourite linen pieces, from shirred tops to Bardot dresses.
A powder blue linen will make you look cool in the office and feel cool on your stuffy commute.
Mango Linen Blazer Suit, $49.99, available at Mango
A mini, belted playsuit is structured enough to keep creasing to a minimum.
& Other Stories Belted Linen Blend Romper, $69, available at & Other Stories
Button up to look professional and put together; unbutton over a cami and shorts, or even use as a swimsuit cover-up for an easy, holiday look.
Violeta By Mango Structured Linen Jacket, $79.99, available at Mango
ASOS DESIGN Linen Mini Dress With Puff Sleeves, $30, available at ASOS
Loewe is one of our favourites for SS19 linen. This asymmetric maxi skirt looks extra cool with a graphic T-shirt tucked in; we would also style with our favourite trainers, big gold hoops and a denim jacket for a Sunday brunch.
Loewe Asymmetric Maxi Skirt, $625, available at Farfetch
Embrace linen's roots and go for a natural, earth-tone dress like this one by Rejina Pyo.
Rejina Pyo Michaela Dress Linen Sienna, $575, available at Rejina Pyo
This button-up, belted nude linen dress by Mango offers a retro '50s silhouette (ideal if you've just binged Amazon's The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel).
Mango Buttoned Linen-Blend Dress, $59.99, available at Mango
This is one way to stand out in a sea of black, navy blue and grey as you battle through the rush hour crowds.
Whistles Linen Double Breasted Blazer, $111.2, available at Whistles
Whistles Linen Crop Wide Leg, $79.2, available at Whistles
Wide-leg white linen trousers are a summer season must. Pair with your bikini top for poolside drinks, a sexy cami for date night and a blouse and blazer combination for the office.
Jacquemus Ligurie Wide-Leg Linen Trousers, $415, available at MatchesFashion.com
Not only is this ASOS number a great holiday buy, it also comes with pockets – win win!
ASOS DESIGN Curve Square Neck Linen Mini Sundress With Wooden Buckle, $22, available at ASOS
ASOS DESIGN Linen Wide Leg With Contrast Button, $28, available at ASOS
Bermuda shorts are everywhere this season. They're more structured than a maxi skirt, offer more comfort than trousers or jeans on a hot day, and can double up at the beach.
Rejina Pyo Renee Striped Cotton And Linen-Blend Shorts, $290, available at Net-A-Porter
An oversized blazer is a staple item in any woman's wardrobe. Update the look in linen for a more casual, summer look (we all know that the office dress code tends to slip a little as the temperature rises).
& Other Stories Double Breasted Linen Blend Blazer, $79, available at & Other Stories
This Jacquemus dress is proof that linen can be sexy and grown-up.
Jacquemus Bambino Halterneck Linen Midi Dress, $460, available at MatchesFashion.com
For that family barbecue you have coming up – style with simple leather sandals and a straw boater (just watch out for grass stains and rogue ketchup).
Staud Maya Tie-Front Linen-Blend Maxi Dress, $270, available at Net-A-Porter
We'll be styling this pretty, '90s-style linen blouse as seen here: with our favourite slinky maxi skirt and the chunkiest sandals we can find.
Warehouse Linen Mix Square Neck Top, $29, available at Warehouse
Sometimes the simplest pieces are the best.
Marina Rinaldi Pure Linen Jacket, $296, available at Marina Rinaldi
Going on holiday and worried about your luggage allowance? A linen jumpsuit is great because you not only have an outfit in one, you can also double it up as trousers when teamed with blouses/cardigans.
Faithfull the Brand Sainte Marie Shirred Linen Jumpsuit, $220, available at Net-A-Porter
If you've got a little more money to splurge on your summer wardrobe, we recommend Theory's linen edit which features great staple pieces like this shirt - it's cut like a man's shirt for a slightly more relaxed, oversized look.
Theory Pure Linen Classic Menswear Shirt, $275, available at Theory
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Earlier this month, Deciem took to Instagram to announce that The Ordinary would make its first foray into face masks, and naturally, skincare obsessives all over the globe (myself included) cleared space in their bathroom cabinets.
Following its debut cleanser, The Ordinary let slip that its first face mask would feature popular skincare ingredient salicylic acid 2%. Otherwise known as a BHA or beta hydroxy acid, salicylic acid is approved by dermatologists everywhere for its ability to gently break down the outer layer of skin. This helps to prevent the formation of acne lesions, including whiteheads and blackheads, and to reduce the inflammation that characterises acne, like redness and raised bumps. In other words, it's an all-rounder when it comes to treating spots, whatever kind.
As a beauty editor, I'm very lucky to have access to lots of great skincare products (some eye-wateringly expensive). But not long ago, a top dermatologist recommended The Ordinary's Retinoid 2% In Emulsion, £8, AHA 30% BHA 2% Peeling Solution, £6.25, and Lactic Acid 10% + HA 2%, £5.80, and they soon became staples in my acne skincare routine. Sometimes, I need a bit of extra help when it comes to treating my pesky blackheads, though, so I jumped at the chance to try the new Salicylic Acid 2% Masque, £9.90, formulated for blemish-prone skin.
The masque isn't actually available yet (you can get your hands on it next month) but a tiny lab sample would do for this huge fan. When I whipped off the lid, I was surprised that the masque was jet black, as most salicylic acid treatments in my skincare routine are clear, gel formulas. Then I discovered that the masque has been souped up with other oil- and grime-busting ingredients, such as charcoal and clays. Unlike any other acne mask I've tried, the texture is jelly -like, but as soon as I smoothed it onto my face it dried down fast. I felt a slight tingle for a few seconds but the sensation disappeared quickly. It didn't crack or make my skin feel uncomfortably taut like other clay-infused masks.
As instructed, I left the formula on for 10 minutes before rinsing off. Immediately, my skin looked much brighter and even glowy in places. A red spot which had popped up on the end of my nose during the day looked considerably less angry and my forehead was slightly smoother. It's evident that this is both a quick fix, thanks to the inflammation-reducing properties, and a good regular exfoliating treatment, especially if you're wary of leave-on liquid acid toners.
Women in politics are continually subjected to threats of violence and rape – both online (Twitter and Facebook were this month lambasted for not doing enough to protect women) and off – and the issue is back in the spotlight ahead of this Thursday's EU elections thanks to Ukip.
Benjamin, who is also standing for the party in southwest England, tweeted to the Birmingham Yardley MP in 2016 saying "I wouldn’t even rape you" – a remark that appeared to equate sexual violence with a compliment. Benjamin reiterated the claim in a video on his YouTube channel in April, saying: "There’s been an awful lot of talk about whether I would or wouldn’t rape Jess Phillips. I suppose with enough pressure I might cave, but let’s be honest nobody’s got that much beer."
Phillips said she was confronted by a man in the street asking "why Carl Benjamin shouldn’t be able to joke about [her] rape. Shouting: 'I pay your wages,'" she wrote on Twitter. The MP revealed she broke down in tears in Birmingham city centre when she heard about his comments, "just because I felt the enormous weight of years and years and years of abuse". When asked about Benjamin's comments on Today, Webb's defence of his colleague was unfathomable.
Webb told the story of "a young woman" he had met on the high street in Plymouth who stepped out of the crowd "to thank Carl Benjamin". He elaborated: "This particular young woman had been brutally raped at the age of 15 – she'd had her jaw broken in that attack, she'd had her lung punctured – she stepped out of the crowd, this is in a public arena, to thank Carl Benjamin, because dark humour on the subject is actually what had helped her move on from her attack."
The language we use when discussing rape and sexual violence matters, and Today presenter Martha Kearney was quick to point out that while that may have been one woman's experience, the majority of women who have survived sexual violence will likely not appreciate others normalising, trivialising or attempting to garner laughs on the back of their experience.
Webb's response? That women like Phillips, who has long stood up for herself in the face of repeated threats of violence – last year she revealed she once received 600 rape threats in a single night – and even to her life (including from members of her own party), are fair game for rape threats. "You've only ever covered the point from Jess Phillips, who I say is no shrinking violet... you haven't covered any of the people that have come out and supported him [Benjamin], and many of those are rape victims themselves."
As the exchange continued, the audibly baffled Kearney pointed out that even Ukip's leader, Gerard Batten, had condemned Benjamin's comment. "[Batten] says 'I condemn all jokes about rape – they're not funny and ever appropriate, and I've told Carl to keep to the serious political issues in this campaign."
But Webb doesn't back down in his assertion that rape survivors may appreciate rape "jokes". "I agree with that point but you are extremely one-sided on this, because there are people who have been rape victims who've come out and thanked him." While listening to the interview, many people used Twitter to share their disbelief and dismay at his comments.
NO F***ING WAY IS LAWRENCE WEBB FROM UKIP TRYING TO ARGUE THAT CARL BENJAMIN'S RAPE COMMENT TO @jessphillips HAS HELPED TO HEAL WOMEN THAT HAVE BEEN RAPED THROUGH DARK HUMOUR. This is beyond absurd
UKIP Lawrence Webb’s response to the horrendous comments of Carl Benjamin is unacceptable - no-one who thinks rape jokes or inciting threats of #sexualviolence are appropriate is fit for elected office #r4today
On @jessphillips rape ‘joke’: “She’s no shrinking violet (!)... This is very one-sided. You’re not talking about the rape victims who say that jokes about rape help them get over their ordeal...”
Grotesque interview with a UKIP spokesman on #r4today, insisting that Carl Benjamin should be "thanked" for "helping" rape survivors with "dark humour" about raping Jess Phillips. What a sewer of a party UKIP has become.
Responding to Webb's claims, Katie Russell, spokesperson for Rape Crisis England & Wales, said that while some survivors of rape may not be offended by rape "jokes", it is nevertheless wholly inappropriate for someone who has not experienced sexual violence to make light of it. "Victims and survivors of rape and all forms of sexual violence and abuse are each unique and use a range of techniques and tools to support their recovery and wellbeing," she told Refinery29.
"Some victims and survivors find comfort and enjoyment in humour. This has little or nothing to do with whether it’s appropriate for those who haven’t been through sexual violence or abuse to use rape as a topic to intimidate and humiliate women and claim it is a 'joke'." The latter, she said, "normalises and trivialises the very real and traumatic experiences of many in our society and contributes to a culture in which victims and survivors find it hard to access the support and justice they need, want and deserve."
If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visit Rape Crisis or call 0808 802 9999.
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Swimming in the sea is one of my favourite things in the world but on occasion it requires some mettle, especially if we are talking about taking a dip along the wild Atlantic coast of Ireland in December. Other than a willing spirit and a swimsuit, you don't need any expensive gear to get into the water but I have learned the hard way (I have lost count of the times I've been hit by a wave and looked down two minutes later to discover that I am exposing myself to innocent onlookers) that finding a swimsuit that doesn't ride up/down or a sturdy bikini is harder than it looks. Finding a cute one is twice as tricky. Instagram is littered with sexy bikini shots but trust me, none of them will last kissing time in the ocean or even at your local pool or lido. Wild swimming with the wind and waves calls for a little pragmatism but that doesn't mean your summer cossie has to be ugly. Style and substance, that's what we need here.
So for women who don't want to lounge by the pool, here's a selection of cute swimsuits that can stand up to lengths in the lido and stay put in the sea...
This soft striped one-piece looks simple from the front but the deep back adds some sex appeal.
Quiksilver Quiksilver Womens - One-Piece Swimsuit, $70, available at Quiksilver
This simple Nike Swim number is top of my list. Sexy, sporty, fully lined and made from chlorine-resistant fabric, these swimsuits are built to last. (Other cities are available.)
NIKE SWIM Nike City Series U-Back One-Piece Swimsuit, $47.95, available at Nike
In my quest to find sensible swimwear that you can do backstroke in, I noticed A LOT of the options were black. This bright and super comfy Ellesse two-piece was a nice discovery.
Ellesse Pomum Bikini Top Multi, $20, available at Ellesse
Ellesse Malus Bikini Pant Multi, $12, available at Ellesse
Made from a mix of recycled materials, at £35 this zesty orange one-piece from Arket is practically a steal. With a low back and thick straps, the bold shade means you'll stand out.
If you are more of a pool person, this sporty two-piece is a good option – bright, with support and coverage for your fitness training. It's made of recycled chlorine-resistant fabric for long-lasting wear. The top is cut with a wide back opening for freedom of movement.
Adidas Fitness Solid Bikini, $42.95, available at Adidas
A print, hurrah! This high-end swimsuit is fully lined for support; if you're after a one-piece that will keep everything in place and has personality, this is it.
Missoni Mare Crochet-Knit Swimsuit, $380, available at Net-A-Porter
Just a bit more fancy than your average LBS (Little Black Swimsuit), stretchy technical fabrics are woven into the material alongside thick straps, which makes this Araks one-piece ideal for swimmers. You could wear this out of the pool, too, with a pair of denim cutoffs. A cut above the rest.
Araks Ursa V-Neck Cutout Swimsuit, $240, available at Browns
Packing a playful punch, this printed Ganni creation pays homage to the psychedelic trend while being sturdy enough to last as many laps as you can.
A little detail goes a long way. Staying true to this season's earthy neutrals, this rust bikini is elevated with keyhole detailing. Designed with a square-neck top, easy clasp and high-waist bottoms, it's got support and style.
Whistles Tort Ring Bikini Top, $35, available at Whistles
Whistles Textured Bikini Bottoms, $35, available at Whistles
If you want a one-piece that's simple and fun, problem solved. This magenta Prism creation screams business in the front, party in the back, with a double-strap crossover and flattering high cut.
This tank top-inspired piece is ticking all the boxes. Mimicking a high-cut '90s neckline and made from 80% recycled polyamide, this breathable, movable jade green swimsuit is a sporty dream.
This Patagonia bikini has a very cute wildlife print and removable side cups and is made of recycled nylon. Plus, Patagonia products are built to withstand wear and tear, so this will last for years.
Patagonia High Neckline Bikini Top, $65, available at Patagonia
Patagonia Low-Rise Bikini Bottoms, $55, available at Patagonia
Serving as multipurpose swimwear and workout gear, this adidas and Stella McCartney collaboration makes a brilliant case for chic/practical swimwear. We love the lightweight highlighter orange fabric and this one rates highly for comfort and has quick-drying technical fibres.
adidas by Stella McCartney Bikini Crop Top, $65, available at MatchesFashion.com
adidas by Stella McCartney Bikini Shorts, $50, available at MatchesFashion.com
Sometimes, simplicity is key. For those venturing to warmer climates during the summer, a white bikini is the perfect staple. Solid straps and crossover detail offer great support for those with larger busts and come complete with elasticated bottoms.
This tie-dye zip-up one-piece ticks every box: Sleeves for sun protection, incredibly comfortable, pretty but still practical. And the design is by Henry Holland who in case you haven't noticed, is fabulous.
House of Holland Tie-Dye Long Swimsuit, $100, available at Speedo
We can get on board with these rainbow stripes. Additional side boning and lightly padded cups are the real winning features on this one-piece.
Boden Multi Stripe Swimsuit, $42, available at Boden
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Much like the tropical shirt, the chunky sandal and the belt bag, the sun hat is no longer the preserve of tourist dads but rather fashion's coolest. Having made its way from the heads of middle-aged men taking photos of the Mona Lisa to, well, our heads this festival season, it's time to celebrate the hat in all its humble glory.
That said, don't save it for Glastonbury – 2019's iteration isn't a Gallagher-esque bucket hat but a sweet hybrid of Britpop's favourite headgear and the kind of hat your mum would force you to wear as a child on holiday. Floppy brimmed, but not in a full-on Jacquemus way, the best ones are cotton, tie-dye or floral, and shade your face without obscuring your view.
For tips on how to style it, look to Blanca Miró, whose own label La Veste has the cutest gingham offering, or to Ganni 's girls, who are touting the brand's rainproof patent hats (perfect for the unpredictable British summer) as well as their more optimistic pastel-hued pieces. If loud, sunny prints aren't your style, look to COS and Arket for the minimalist's take in navy and ecru.
As for us, we're teaming ours with an Aries tee, slip skirt, Teva sandals and stacks of colourful beaded jewellery. Sun protection never looked so good.
Click through to see the best sun hats of the summer.
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Even the Downtons have royal fever. Unfortunately, it's not Prince Harry and Meghan Markle visiting the family the first full-length trailer for the long-awaited movie adaptation of the TV series, but King George, grandfather of reigning Queen Elizabeth (if you want to know the drama that went down to get here, just give The Crown a watch). I'd say the Downton Abbey movie looks drama-free, except it's filled with exactly the kind of drama that kept us coming back to the television show for six seasons. There are maids puttering, ladies planning, and the Dowager Countess (Maggie Smith) making the dry remarks we've missed.
Speaking of people we've missed, Hugh Bonneville, Laura Carmichael, Jim Carter, Brendan Coyle, Michelle Dockery, Kevin Doyle, Joanne Froggatt, Matthew Goode, Harry Hadden-Paton, David Haig, Geraldine James, Robert James-Collier, Simon Jones, Allen Leech, Phyllis Logan, Elizabeth McGovern, Sophie McShera, Tuppence Middleton, Stephen Campbell Moore, Lesley Nicol, Kate Phillips, Maggie Smith, Imelda Staunton, and Penelope Wilton are all starring in the film. Still no Jessica Brown Findlay, AKA Lady Sybil Crawley, because unlike Game Of Thrones, Downton doesn't dabble in bringing characters back from the dead.
Yes, Downton Abbey is full of old faces, but they have a decidedly new problem: "The King and Queen are coming to Downton," the Earl of Grantham (Bonneville) remarks in the trailer.
"A royal luncheon, a parade, and a dinner?" a stunned Mrs. Patmore (Nicol) exclaims. "I'm going to have to sit down."
With the help of the trusty downstairs employees — and the return of Mr. Carson (Carter) — the family readies their already magnificent home for royal guests. We don't get to see who plays the King and Queen in the trailer, but if Olivia Colman doesn't somehow find her way into this, I'll be very disappointed.
Downton Abbey arrives in cinemas on 20th September.
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Madewell is all about sticking to its roots. Despite having over 100 stores around the world, the reinvented workwear and denim brand has never lost its hometown feel. Between collaborating with small town artists and launching pop ups (a program they call Madewell Commons), Madewell prioritises staying in touch when it comes to its customers. Case in point: Madewell in Residence.
On Tuesday, your go-to brand for sustainable denim, extended sizes and elevated basics launched a program dedicated to helping its customers discover new talent. For their first series, Madewell's Head of Design, Joyce Lee, handpicked three artists "based on their aesthetic, creativity and passion for their art," according to a press release. “At Madewell we’re committed to supporting local makers and creatives which is why we’re decided to launch our first artist series called Madewell in Residence," Lee says. "It was an amazing process to select these incredibly passionate and inspiring artists, I can’t wait to introduce them to our customers.” Among the lucky three are Claire Nereim of Plant Planet, Kit Agar and Angela Mckay of Ohkil Studio.
Using Madewell basics — tees, bandanas and towels — as a framework, these three artists are now able to offer their art to the masses like never before. Additionally, customers can purchase framed prints of Nereim, Agar and McKay's work through a partnership with custom framing startup, Framebridge.
Priced between £17.91 and £46.47, this collection of local artwork is available for purchase in the UK online at Madewell.com.
Known for her botanical screen-prints, Nereim prints her work by hand in a small studio space in Los Angeles. She works only with recycled paper and non-toxic inks to create affordable artwork with little environmental impact. Despite being sold at some of the country's most high-end indie boutiques, Madewell In Residence will be one of her first experiences selling to a major international audience.
Madewell in Residence x Plant Planet Beach Towel, $46.47, available at Madewell
Specialising in portraiture, Agar focuses mainly on drawing the female form using lines and natural colours to bring her art to life. According to a press release, "she thinks of the pieces complementing and completing each other like a group of best friends."
Madewell in Residence x Kit Agar Beach Towel, $46.47, available at MadewellPhoto Courtesy of Madewell.
Inspired by everything from the "natural world, overseas travel adventures, folk tales and old murder mystery novels," Angela McKay's illustrations and surface patterns embody the space around her.
Madewell in Residence x Ohkii Studio Beach Towel, $46.47, available at MadewellPhoto Courtesy of Madewell.
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New rule: Don't judge a book by its cover, but feel free to judge a date by their bedroom.
The latest addition to TV's ever expanding catalogue of millennial dating ventures is BBC Three's Hot Property – the show that invites you into someone's house to have a nose around before committing to an IRL date. Full disclosure, though. The fateful date takes place in the home of the person you've been snooping on. There's no Dinner Date -style excursion to the local Harvester for a two-course set menu. Hot Property keeps things very, very intimate.
Presented, guided and laughed at by internet star Yung Filly, young hopefuls from across the UK are first presented with four obscure photos from inside the bedrooms of anonymous potential dates. At this stage, Filly will show you a snapshot of everything from football boots and preserved debris from the Berlin Wall, to DJ decks and what I can only assume to be a confused-looking butt plug. Each suitor is then nicknamed for ease (Ms Kick About, Mr Historian, Mr DJ and Mrs Butt Plug, for example) and our eager contestant is tasked with ditching one of them before proceeding to the next stage: the bedroom invasion.
Now, how would you feel about a stranger, a familiar face from the internet and a camera operator going through your bedroom drawers? Because there's no time to be shy about it. There is nothing you can hide that won't be found. They will pull out your dusty dildo, your new and (ew) used condom collection, and the stash of other women's underwear you've apparently decided to hold on to (seriously).
If you like to store a little baggy of your own hair – pubic or otherwise – Filly will find it. If you've got a personalised photo book that was made by your ex, in which they proclaim their undying love for you, we're going to have a little read of it. If you have an adult-size leash and collar hanging in your wardrobe, my friend, it's going to be tried on for the camera. Audiences, don't be alarmed or confused, though. The series is not just about airing a stranger's literal dirty laundry to have a good laugh (and cringe) at their expense. The idea is to get an idea of what sort of person you might be letting into your life. Absentmindedly swiping left and right might fill your Sunday evenings, but there's no real comparison between what you can get from someone's curated Tinder profile and what you learn rummaging beneath their bed. Here, televised discoveries include a tin of sardines and a deep clean kit. Microfibre dusting glove and everything.
How else would a person look deep within the soul of someone they've never looked in the eye, you ask? By meeting their friends and family, obviously. After the bedroom snooping, the searching singleton is asked to sack off yet another suitor based on what they've unearthed behind closed doors, leaving them with a choice of two brave dates. It's here that Hot Property gets a bit Take Me Out. In comes someone's mum, best friend, cousin or ex-partner to fill you in on what their beloved person is really like before you decide who to meet IRL. Home truth bombs are dropped – Ayo from episode one is told point blank that she wouldn't be quite right for one of the anonymous contenders, while Liam comes face to face with the author of that romantic photo book we mentioned earlier – and difficult-ish decisions are made.
Next comes the meeting with whoever has been lucky enough to survive all three elimination rounds. Finally face to face with their blind date, our contestant has a moment to see if any sparks fly outside the bedroom. Needless to say, it isn't always love at first sight. Filly waits in the wings to burst in on their strangely intimate encounters, often in costume, to rescue (or jeopardise) the chat. And when the first date is about wrapped up, we're treated to the familiar end-credit format of finding out whether the matched couple's interaction went any further than the dry chicken dinner on their mum's sofa (this happens in episode one, too). Keep an eye out for the contestants who later opted to get in touch with one of the overlooked suitors from the bedroom round.
I'm sure you've gathered that you're not about to settle in for a series of matches made in heaven. But how often does that actually happen on TV? Hot Property is a little crude, raw enough for you to feel like you're rummaging through a stranger's wardrobe, too, and a very loud laugh. The big lols predominantly come from host Filly, whose reaction to some of the more, erm, unsavoury discoveries in people's bedrooms could serve as a separate mini-series in itself. It's abrupt. It's full of moments that'll leave you mouthing an elongated "noooooo" in disbelief. And it'll make you question how much you really want to know about what your partner gets up to in the privacy of their own bedroom.
Hot Property is on BBC iPlayer from 21st May and will air on BBC One at 10.35pm
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By sophomore year in high school, my best friend and I owned so many articles of clothing in common that we had to outfit plan so as to avoid a repeat of the unfortunate Triple Five Soul twinning moment of 2004. So it was with a cackle of gleeful recognition and a twinge of painful nostalgia that I watched protagonists Molly (Beanie Feldstein) and Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) come face-to-face in matching party-ready navy blue boiler suits in Booksmart.
Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut is an arresting piece of filmmaking. For one thing, it’s hilarious. Every scene is carefully crafted, honed for optimal impact. It’s been a while since I left a movie that exhilarated, feeling as high as Molly and Amy after having accidentally ingested strawberries dipped in hallucinogens. But there’s also something wholly original about her approach to the storied last night of high school. It doesn’t try to be the “female” version of anything, but nonetheless delivers a story that’s feminine, raunchy, silly, sweet, inclusive, and incredibly specific, all at once.
First and foremost, Booksmart is the story of high school best friends Molly and Amy. They’re as close as two girls who freely talk about their masturbation habits can be, but distinct in their personalities. Type-A Molly is valedictorian and student body president, the kind of person who corrects graffiti scrawled in a bathroom stall, and has a bedroom shrine to Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Michelle Obama. Amy is a social justice crusader, taking a summer abroad to help make tampons for women in Botswana. One is intensely confident and fending off shameful lust for popular party boy Nick (Mason Gooding), the other shy and pining for the class skater girl, Ryan (Victoria Ruesga). Both have spent high school buried in their books, doing the absolute most to get into the college of their choice. And it’s finally paid off: Molly’s headed to Yale, and Amy to Columbia. Finally, they can leave those other losers behind to whatever bleak future is in store for them. Right?
Except, as Molly soon realises, the kids who partied and drank while she and Amy made fake IDs to get into the 24-hour college library — including nemesis Triple A (Molly Gordon, Feldstein’s IRL best friend), so nicknamed because she “gave roadside assistance to three senior guys last year” — also got into their dream schools. Devastated that she might be remembered as the girl who didn’t do it all, Molly convinces Amy that they have to attend a blowout party before graduation, kicking off a wild night of full of future fond memories, and hard truths.
Feldstein and Dever are both phenomenal, breathing life and complexity into these two characters from the get go. Their chemistry, the result of Wilde’s idea that they should live together during filming, is palpable. Still, it’s undeniably Feldstein’s movie. She captures that very particular brand of high-achieving type-A smart girl — who’s not exactly nerdy, in touch with pop culture but alienating in her unshakeable sense of superiority — with impeccably timed delivery and inspired facial expressions.
The supporting cast is equally as charming. Billie Lourd in particular, who plays Gigi, an eccentric rich girl with a penchant for faux-fur, leans into the worst stereotypes about Hollywood children to scream-worthy effect. And then there’s Noah Galvin as theater kid George, whose karaoke rendition of Alannis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” literally made me spasm with laughter.
What’s special about Booksmart is that even as it takes place in a 24-hour period, it feels like a celebration of a history that goes back far beyond that. The script by Susanna Fogel, Emily Halpern, Sarah Haskins, and Katie Siberman (responsible for Netflix’s 2018 rom-com hit, Set It Up) drops passing mentions of shared experiences between the two girls and their peers, setting up a living, breathing high school organism that feels real, and relatable. The film accurately and emotionally portrays a bittersweet juncture that’s specific to the end of high school. Even as Molly and Amy are exhilarated about their future, they’re saying goodbye to their past, and in a way, to each other.
Wilde’s directorial choices are creative and refreshing: A scene told through the perspective of Molly and Amy as Barbies is subversive and funny without being obvious; in the film’s climax, which I won’t spoil, she lets the camera linger on reaction shots rather than focus on the person who’s speaking, enabling us to watch the words painfully sink in. Moreover, Amy’s sexuality is handled with the kind of care that still feels distinctive enough so as to deserve a shout-out. When we meet her, she’s been out as a lesbian for two years, and still hasn’t kissed a girl. It’s a coming-of-age arc as old as time — with a twist that feels all new.
It shouldn’t really come as a surprise that a film helmed by an-all woman writing team and director would manage to so effectively capture the rare intimacy of the friendship between teenage girls. And yet, maybe because it’s still so rare, it’s absolutely stunning when done this right. As Feldstein told Refinery29 in a recent profile, “Olivia Wilde is a Fucking. Director.”
Booksmart is released in UK cinemas on May 31
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With the Game of Thrones buzz quieting down, Netflix is taking its place back in the spotlight — and its making every second count. The content mogul dropped three new trailers for Black Mirror season 5 on Tuesday, featuring a slew of well-known cast members including Miley Cyrus, Andrew Scott, Madison Davenport, and Anthony Mackie. Additionally, Netflix announced some of the tantalising episodic details — and rest assured; despite this season boasting only three episodes, creator Charlie Booker and executive producer Annabel Jones are pulling out all of the stops to ensure this season is just as (if not more so) dark, twisted, and exhilarating as past seasons.
Ahead, we've gathered details and trailers for each of the all-new episodes from Black Mirror season 5, which drops on Netflix on June 5.
Black Mirror Season 5 Episode 1: "Smithereens"
Cast: Andrew Scott, Damson Idris, Topher Grace
The first episode, titled "Smithereens," centres around Andrew Scott (you probably know him as Jim Moriarty from BBC's Sherlock or, more recently, the Hot Priest in Fleabag season 2), an unstable ride-share driver who, despite listening to relaxation and self-help podcasts, can't seem to control his anger. Though his motives aren't clear in the trailer, we do know one thing: He's got an agenda, and no one, especially not his latest passenger, played by Damson Idris ( Snowfall), is going to get in his way.
The episode also features Topher Grace ( BlacKkKlansman), who appears to play a long-haired, meditating man. Netflix didn't release many details about his character, but if we had to guess, he's not as innocent as he seems.
Black Mirror Season 5 Episode 2: "Rachel, Jack and Ashley, Too"
Cast: Miley Cyrus, Angourie Rice, Madison Davenport
Second up, we have "Rachel, Jack and Ashley, Too," which dives into the world of pink-haired pop star Ashley (Miley Cyrus) and her adoring fans. On the surface, everything about Ashley's life seems perfect. She's beautiful, famous, and she just launched Ashley Too, a robotic doll which spews feel-good one-liners like "believe in yourself." But underneath the pink wig and behind the TV-show smiles, Ashley's life seems to be falling apart. She's taking medication, getting brain scans, and saying things like "It's getting so hard to keep doing this."
Black Mirror Season 5 Episode 3: "Striking Vipers"
Cast: Anthony Mackie, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Nicole Beharie, Pom Klementieff, Ludi Lin
Finally, there's "Striking Vipers," which attempts to answer the question: "Is it possible to tune out and get away from it all?" This episode features Anthony Mackie ( Avengers: Endgame), who plays a suburban family man. He has a good job, flips burgers at the BBQ, and is trying to grow his family with his wife (Nicole Beharie). Still, he's miserable and in desperate need of an escape. That's where his college pal (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) comes into play.
Abdul-Mateen II shows Mackie a way to experience a more fast-paced, exciting lifestyle. All he has to do is plug in, and his problems will temporarily disappear. However, in true Black Mirror fashion, temporary solutions seem to come with long-lasting problems.
"Striking Vipers" also stars Pom Klementieff and Ludi Lin.
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When I think sneakerhead, I think of a 16-year-old reseller and Hypebeast fanatic adorned in the latest Supreme drop. But that's just me.
Trainer hoarding, though by no means newly discovered, is a thrill-inducing pastime (particularly if you were lucky enough to grab the latest Sacai Nikes or Cactus Plant Flea Market’s colourful ode to the Vapormax...still reeling from that miss). But trainer collecting has always been seen as a man thing, with female sneaker devotees in the shadows. Good news: that's changing fast and the women who take great pleasure in collecting sneakers are getting theirs.
Sneakerness, a huge platform for collectors and resellers, pulled up to London's Printworks in Rotherhithe last weekend and opened its doors to much drooling. There were kicks galore and within the first five minutes I found myself wide-eyed, almost hysterical and asking how much a pair of Swarovski crystal-woven Vapormax cost (they were £550 so I very swiftly put them back down).
As well as the delight I got from poring over the shoes, I got a kick out of how many other overjoyed and downright cool women turned up. Mothers and daughters were uploading their latest purchases on social media, large groups of young women dripping in sports-luxe were enquiring about the latest drops with a subtle air of confidence Kanye could only wish for, and then there were the veterans – the women who had been collecting for over 15 years.
Sneaker culture and reselling will and has continued to draw fans in droves, but it's heartening to see women claiming their space. Whether it be an oversized Supreme T-shirt or a notoriously exclusive pair of retro Travis Scott backward swoosh Jordans, we want them too and we’re in it for the long haul. The sense of community and passion was infectious and one thing was crystal clear – female sneakerheads have stepped into the light.
Click through to meet some of them...
Chariza
How did you first get into trainers?
I think just being a '90s kid you’re exposed to sneaker culture and hip-hop. Also, back in secondary school in PE you always had to have nice trainers!
How many pairs do you own?
Around 30 pairs.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
Anything retro that’s been rereleased with cool materials.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
I think it can be. I think it’s got better as there’s been collaborations with women artists and influencers, but it definitely could be better because the shoes that we actually want don’t fit us because they’re massive! So I think they should think about us a little bit and introduce more sizes 4, 5, 6.
What are you most excited about today?
I like seeing people enjoying the community and seeing what I can learn from the talk.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Harley
How did you first get into trainers?
I had an uncle who used to sell stuff out the back of a van, and he used to sell trainers to people in our area. He used to give me trainers and that progressed into me collecting shoes.
How many pairs do you own?
30-40 pairs.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
Safari 95s – not re-release, the originals.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
I think now not as much because more women have come into it but it always seemed like if girls came with guys, then it was seen the girl only had an interest because of the guy, when it’s not really like that. All the girls that I know that collect shoes have a general interest in trainers. Also, at things like this most of them don’t have women’s sizes or sections so it’s quite frustrating. It’s still not as good as it could be.
What are you most excited about today?
Hopefully I can find something in my size!
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Niquella
How did you first get into trainers?
I’ve always loved trainers, but I haven’t always been able to afford them. Most of my childhood I was a Shoezone girl and then when I started working I went a bit mad.
How many pairs do you own?
About 15.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
Fila Disruptors, but I also love the velour Nikes.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
Yes. I think sometimes, like game culture, there’s this snobbery and guys think that you’re a fake fan and you’re here just to look at the pretty stuff, but we love trainers just as much as they do.
What are you most excited about today?
I like being around trainers, and I’m hoping to see something new and cool.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Mbali
How did you first get into trainers?
I think trainers define a person. I will always look at someone’s feet before I look at anything else, so I judge a person by their feet, and I think that feet say a lot about a person.
How many pairs do you own?
I went through a phase where buying trainers was addictive, so I haven’t bought a pair this whole year because I just needed to stop, but I think I have about 10 pairs.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
Something classic. The high top white Converse are so simplistic, go with everything and will always be in fashion, so they’re a really key pair. If I had to be stuck with a pair for an outfit I’d go with them.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
I think so. For example, I’ve got my shoes here which I’m trying to sell, but I’m way too intimidated to go and ask so I’m using my guy friend because they respect him more. I think that people take you a lot more seriously if you’re a guy.
What are you most excited about today?
Hopefully selling my trainers for a profit!
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Scarlett
How did you first get into trainers?
They’re really popular within my friendship group.
How many pairs do you own?
Maybe 10.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
My black Balenciaga Speed Socks.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
No, I don’t think it’s sexist. I think there’s a wide variety of different trainers for different people.
What are you most excited about today?
Buying some nice trainers – hopefully some Yeezys.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Jaeden
How did you first get into trainers?
At school in PE everyone’s got their own trainers, and when you get older you start getting more interested in clothing and it’s nice to match your outfit with your shoes.
How many pairs do you own?
Maybe around 15-20.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
Probably the Off-White x Converse high tops.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
It is quite male dominated but I think as time goes on it’s getting better. Everyone here is quite chill and here to enjoy fashion and the culture.
What are you most excited about today?
Spending time with my friend, looking at shoes.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Angel
How did you first get into trainers?
Probably through my boyfriend. I’ve always bought trainers but the bog standard Superstars and Vans Old Schools. My boyfriend gets Yeezys and stuff like that and it made me think about branching out and wearing different brands.
How many pairs do you own?
Over 15 I reckon.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
I’ve got a pair of white platform Converse that I love.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
I think guys are more likely to rave about sneakers, whereas not all of my friends are into trainers so I probably won’t speak about it that much. I haven’t noticed the culture to be sexist.
What are you most excited about today?
There are some Yeezys that I’m eyeing up. I’ve never been able to get them in my size so hopefully I’ll be able to get a pair today.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Coco
How did you first get into trainers?
I got into trainers through retail, and from there I became a freelance stylist and got into the streetwear industry and it came as a no-brainer that footwear followed suit.
How many pairs do you own?
I own around 150, and then I resell as well so maybe nearer 200. I have a lockup because I can’t fit them all in my house.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
Nike Air Plus 3s in any and all colourways.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
Yes it is sexist. I’ve experienced it in some form because people are shocked that I’ve got heat on my feet. I might have a rack but I also have sense.
What are you most excited about today?
Hanging with friends, meeting new people and having a laugh.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Laura
How did you first get into trainers?
I started working at Grenson Shoes, I had to wear dress shoes all day every day. The second I left I got the opportunity to wear sneakers and then it went downhill from there.
How many pairs do you own?
I have between 70-80 pairs.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
Jordan 1, I’m not sure which one, the Off-Whites are pretty good, or the Reds, if I could ever find them in a UK 4 that would be a dream.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
Yes, purely because it’s male dominated. It’s hard for a woman to crack into it and to be taken seriously. I think there was a long time where every single girl who had a pair of sneakers on their feet had to dress sexily to get away with it somehow, but now there’s new little collectives popping up so I think it’s changing slowly but steadily.
What are you most excited about today?
Hanging out, I’ve met a few people who I’ve spoken to for years but never actually met so that’s always fun.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Charnice
How did you first get into trainers?
Through grime music. I love grime and I think a lot of [the MCs] were into trainers at the time, so in my depths of following their journey I lurked into the sneaker life as well and that’s how I developed my love.
How many pairs do you own?
Not that many, I’d say about 50, which I think is reasonable.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
Air Force 1 all white, you can wear them on any occasion. I could wear them to my wedding. I could, it’s possible. They’re everything for me.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
I think anything can be sexist. I don’t think the sneaker culture is necessarily sexist, which might be quite shocking as I think a lot of people would say it is. I think that women may just not be as vocal at the moment in the sneaker industry, and I think that if women who are interested weren’t scared to say they were then I think they [the guys] would be pretty accepting. When I talk to guys and tell them I’m into sneakers they think it’s cool.
What are you most excited about today?
This is my first ever sneaker convention, so I’m excited for everything!
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Natalie
How did you first get into trainers?
When I was little I used to love Skechers, and then when I was a teenager I started loving Nikes and then it just grew from there really.
How many pairs do you own?
I know this because I actually got asked the other day, I’ve got 58 at the moment.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
I love my red Air Max 98s.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
I guess it is in a way because there’s loads of trainers we can’t get in our size and certain colours we can’t get, and they’ve only just started introducing some female designers.
What are you most excited about today?
I’m just excited to look around and see what it’s like.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Jess
How did you first get into trainers?
I worked at a trainer store when I was 17, I’ve always had a tomboy style which I think helped me get the job, and that’s how my interest grew.
How many pairs do you own?
I’ve passed some down to my little sisters, so I think about 20 now.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
It might be the ones I’m wearing right now, the Off-White x Converse collaboration.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
I think it’s changed a lot now compared to a few years ago, everyone has their own style now. I’ve always been a tomboy so I don’t care what anyone says. Clothes are becoming more unisex now, and the same with trainers. I do think they need to make sizes more available for women, I came today and I’m not sure if there’s going to be a lot for me here.
What are you most excited about today?
The vibe! It’s such a cool thing to get people together that love fashion, music and the culture.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Camille
How did you first get into trainers?
I met my boyfriend two years ago, he’s into fashion and really loves sneakers. Before we met I wasn’t into trainers as much, but I find them comfortable and cool.
How many pairs do you own?
I own about 30 pairs.
What’s your favourite pair of all time?
Cortez Nike in green velvet.
Do you think sneaker culture can be sexist?
I think maybe before but it’s getting better over time.
What are you most excited about today?
There are some very beautiful shoes here and I met some nice people who share the same passion as me.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Ree
How did you first getinto trainers?
When I was a teenager it meant you were cool if you wore trainers. I didn’t have uniform so that meant I could wear trainers to school.
How many pairs do youown?
Not that many, maybe six.
What’s your favouritepair of all time?
A pair I don’t yet own but I’ve imagined. They’d be leopard print Nikes.
Do you think sneakerculture can be sexist?
I think all cultures are sexist so how could it not be?
What are you most excitedabout today?
I was hoping I’d find some leopard print Nikes but I haven’t yet.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
Cindy
How did you first getinto trainers?
My big brother is a big sneakerhead so he sparked my interest, and now I have a shop called Daömey.
How many pairs do youown?
A lot, I started collecting when I was 15 and I’m 27 now. I must have over 100 pairs.
What’s your favouritepair of all time?
White Air Force 1s.
Do you think sneakerculture can be sexist?
It’s definitely sexist. It’s based on sport, and most sports are led by men so obviously when brands release a shoe they think of men first and that’s why people like me with small feet usually can’t find our size. They used to do what they call "pink it and shrink it" so the same version but pink and smaller, but it’s changing as more women have input in the design.
What are you most excitedabout today?
Buying new stuff, I’m hunting right now.
Photographed by Ellie Ramsden.
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Two years ago today, 22 people travelled to Manchester Arena to watch Ariana Grande perform, never to return. Another 250 were left injured, while others were psychologically scarred by the terror attack, the deadliest the UK had seen since 2005's 7/7 London bombings. The horrific incident was interpreted by many as an attack on women and girls in particular (who made up most of the 14,000 concertgoers), and on Britain's values and way of life.
Two years on, the 22 people who lost their lives – 17 women, 10 of whom were children and teenagers, and five men – will be mourned and celebrated at a private memorial service in Manchester for the families of those killed and injured, and the first responders at the scene. Members of the public have been asked to reflect when the clock strikes 10.30pm, the time just after the bomb exploded.
"We know anniversaries can be a very difficult time for people, so it’s important that anyone who needs some support knows there is still help available to them," says Rachel Almeida from the charity Victim Support, which provides assistance to survivors, witnesses and families affected by the incident. That includes emotional support and help with practical issues like navigating the benefits and compensation systems and personal safety planning.
"We’re still supporting survivors and witnesses who are struggling with flashbacks from the attack, anxiety and trouble sleeping," Almeida adds. The charity was instrumental in organising peer support groups where those affected could talk about their feelings and coping strategies in a safe space, while also educating parents and teachers on how to support young people through the trauma.
Courtesy of Becca Higginson.
One young person who was there that night is Becca Higginson, a 17-year-old college student from Stoke-on-Trent. She was standing in the arena with her mum near where the bomb went off. Had they stayed where they were for 30 seconds longer, their story could have been very different, she says. The teen, who will be taking time to reflect on the experience with her mum this evening, told us how it changed her life.
"Ariana had been off stage for about three minutes, and we were stood on the concourse that goes around the arena, when there was this massive sound, like a rumble. Everyone looked at each other for a couple of seconds in complete silence, and then we realised what had happened. Everyone started screaming and running towards the nearest exit, but we went backwards – we went back to where we had been sitting because my mum said they [the attacker] would want us to run, and there was every chance we could run into more danger.
Ten minutes later someone came on stage and said there had been no incident, everything was fine, leave as normal. But the staff were quite clearly shaken by what had gone on, so me and my mum decided to leave – we left through an exit and armed police chased us into the carpark shouting, 'This is a terrorist attack!' with their guns out. When we got into the car, we saw a lady holding a scarf to her neck that was covered with blood. We saw people lying on the street with T-shirts pressed onto them to soak up the blood. We listened to the radio all the way home and heard people telling their stories, which confirmed what we thought had happened.
While it was happening – and I don’t remember this – my mum clearly remembers me asking if we were going to die. In that moment I thought, I don’t know if we’re going to get out of this unscathed. That’s the only way I can describe it. In the weeks that followed, I had my GCSEs and I went to a festival. It was terrifying and the overall feeling I had was fear, but there was also a lot of strength in the way that people in Manchester rallied around the victims.
My mum clearly remembers me asking if we were going to die.
I’ve always noticed a lot of community spirit in Manchester but it's been heightened since that day. I was there a few weeks ago to watch Catfish and the Bottlemen at the same arena. I still think about it every single day. My mum will back this up – every day we think about what happened and how lucky we are, and the people who weren’t as lucky. There are signs up saying, 'We love Manchester'. You feel like you’re a part of something even if you’re not from Manchester. Saying that, going back was scary and standing in the foyer, even though it’s been done up, it still feels like something has happened there. There was a sense that everyone was very vigilant, but every time I’m there, the positives really outweigh the negatives.
I still think about it every single day – about what happened and how lucky we are, and the people who weren’t as lucky.
The strength of the victims' families is absolutely amazing. Saffie Roussos' mum [whose daughter was the youngest victim and who herself was badly injured] just ran a 10km in Manchester and I think she’s incredible. They are the strongest people. You just can’t imagine being in their situation. That will definitely be on my mind on the anniversary. Me and my mum are going to make sure we’re on our own when it hits 10.30, which we found quite triggering last year.
Overall, I’ve got my guard up a lot more since the attack. I'm more vigilant and I’m very aware of trying to make the most out of every situation. Every day I think, This might be your last day. You never know what’s going to happen. In a lot of situations I’ll be looking around me to see what’s going on. I struggled to not think about it intrusively for a while, but then the one-year anniversary brought me a lot of closure. I’m hoping the two-year anniversary is just going to bring that even more.
It’s changed my life – I’m so much more grateful for everything I’ve got, and I appreciate being alive so much more. Going forward, I want to finish college, go to university and then hopefully go into teaching. I’m hoping to get involved in as much charity work as possible and will try to pay tribute [to the victims] as often as I can."
Victim Support provides practical help and emotional support to victims and witnesses of crime and major incidents, no matter where or when the incident took place. Anyone seeking support can contact the charity’s free 24/7 support line on 0808 16 89 111 or via www.victimsupport.org.uk
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Welcome toMoney Diaries, where we're tackling what might be the last taboo facing modern working women: money. We're asking a cross-section of women how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period – and we're tracking every last penny.
This week: "I currently work in management in the speciality coffee industry, but I am trying to move into an administrative office-based role to reduce my working hours and to have a better work-life balance; my job is extremely demanding for a very small reward.
I have been with my partner for 6.5 years and we have lived together for just under 6 years. He lives and works in Surrey Mon-Fri and we live on the southeast coast. We have been living like this for nearly eight months now and are both struggling to cope with the distance. I am in the process of job applications to relocate to London, where we would be able to live together full time and both work.
We combine every penny of our outgoings and rather than split it in half, we pay a percentage each based on our salaries. My partner earns more than me so he pays more, and we are both left with the same amount of disposable income each month. We have no debt and are incredibly careful with our finances, but we also have no savings, which is terrifying. We are hoping once we move, and eventually get salary increases, we can start to save some money and think about our future goals – currently we are just existing month to month."
Industry: Hospitality Age: 26 Location: Southeast Salary: £22,500 Paycheque amount: £1,550 Number of housemates: Mon-Fri 0 / Weekend 1 (boyfriend)
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: £1,075 (split between boyfriend and me) Loan payments: £0. Student loan is deducted from my paycheque before I see it Utilities: Council tax £118, electricity and gas £60, internet £24 (split) Transportation: £480-£500 (split) Phone bill: £42.52 (split) Savings? £0 Other: Car insurance £43, car tax £24, Denplan £49, Netflix £5.99, Spotify £11.99, contact lenses £10, gym £22 (all split)
Day One
8am: Late start at work today so I slept in. Much needed after getting up at 5.45am for a few days. Marmite peanut butter on toast at home with a cuppa in front of Suits (the worst programme ever made, I am ashamed).
10.30am: Somehow ended up eating half a Galaxy bar. Breakfast dessert is a thing, right?
10.41am: I should probably leave for work yet I am still pottering around in my dressing gown. It’s so fluffy, I look like a mob wife.
11.15am: Finally make the drive to work. So close to my first cup of coffee for the day!
2.56pm: Just lost nearly four hours to work and have no idea how, hospitality can be full-on. Got a mini salad bowl and an iced black coffee for lunch, I’m at work so it’s FREE (the main perk in this industry). My stress levels are mega high at the moment and my appetite has taken a bit of a hit.
3.05pm: Not having a great day mentally so have booked a yoga class on the beach for 7.30am tomorrow with my best work pal. We have gotten really close over the last few months and we are neighbours, which is also amazing; we meet up and have cups of tea and chats like old ladies. We also go for walks on the beach with cups of tea. I will miss her very much when I move; she is moving too, which softens the blow a little.
3.30pm: Boyfriend sends me GIFs he’s made of my family dog to cheer me up. Office life for him is evidently very stressful and time-consuming!
4.13pm: Running work-related errands: banking, buying chalk pens, buying ice, returning an ASOS parcel (okay not entirely work-related). Somehow a large bag of Maltesers falls into my basket. £1
4.45pm: Receive an email and get offered a second interview for the job I’m applying for!
4.46pm: Feel sick from eating Maltesers and not enough actual food.
8.32pm: Finally escape work after doing some very fiddly baking. Decide that Ottolenghi must write recipes just for a laugh. Drive to borrow a yoga mat from another colleague, take cake and a raw treat for his wife to say thank you. Somehow find myself in a supermarket and end up buying cheese spread, tortilla chips, Oatly crème fraîche, spread and some of my favourite Alpro yoghurts as they are on offer. Will make some spelt pasta with cheesy spread, green beans, peas and spinach when I get in. Will definitely add nutritional yeast to my pasta for extra cheesiness. £9.55
9pm: FaceTime boyfriend who, with good intention, tries to solve my work issues of the day. All I wanted was a vent and a cuddle, I can only have the first half so we hang up feeling frustrated and sad about the distance.
11.30pm: Appetite still in a funk so ate a bowl of cereal and a yoghurt, no pasta for me. Do some yoga stretches in front of the TV to distract myself from my intensely busy mind and aching back.
11.31pm: The existential dread creeps in and I decide I have spent too much time alone this week. Try and look forward to tomorrow morning's class and boyfriend being at home for three days for the bank holiday.
12.23am: STILL. AWAKE.
Total: £10.55
Day Two
6am: MUST GET UP FOR YOGA.
6.25am: Text friend, we both agree we are exhausted and need a rest so decide on a beach walk with a cup of tea instead. Only had five hours sleep which is definitely not enough, so try and enjoy lying in bed for 45 minutes. My eczema has flared up recently, probably due to stress, so go and hunt for steroid cream and antihistamines. I’m currently on a waiting list to go through patch testing to find out what I’m allergic to exactly and what causes it, but the doctor who does it at my local hospital is off sick so I'm still waiting, nine months later. I went private once but it was £250 for one appointment so I won’t be doing that again! Since coming off the pill my scalp eczema has calmed down a little, so I can cope day to day.
7am: Realise lying in bed to look at my phone is not a good enough excuse to skip yoga so go and find my book. Reading the most recent continuation of Stieg Larsson’s Millennium series. I love a Scandi noir.
8.25am: My friend comes over and I make us tea and toast, we scoff the toast and take our tea to the beach. Meet the most beautiful golden retriever having the time of her life digging a hole in the sand. Life seems infinitely better after meeting this perfect creature. My main motivation for somehow saving for a house one day is so I can have a golden retriever. My family dog now lives four hours away, which breaks my heart. My mum made a WhatsApp group just for sharing photos and videos of my dog with myself, my boyfriend and my sister, which is nice.
10.45am: Stroll into work finally. Being a manager has its benefits, I mostly choose my hours around whatever I think is required. I’m also on salary rather than hourly wage, which means fewer proper shifts.
4.45pm: Skipped my lunch break because I had lots to do, so eat yoghurt, granola and rhubarb compote. I drink a few cups of filter and a flat white during the day but of course I don’t pay for these which is pretty great. We are hosting a 'cupping' (a tasting) this evening so I finish up what I’m doing and begin to prepare and set up for that.
5pm: PAYDAY! Immediately transfer boyfriend £500 because a lot of our outgoings go out of his account.
7.45pm: Cupping went well and we had some solid engagement. It was men only though, where’s my gals into speciality coffee at!
8pm: Mop the floor, drive home and pull into our road just as my boyfriend gets home! So relieved to see him after the week I’ve had. I make us last night's cheesy pasta that didn’t happen with green veg, he makes us an Aperol Spritz (we add gin obviously) and we sit on the sofa, catch up and have a cuddle.
Total: £0
Day Three
10.30am: Wake up after a really good sleep feeling fantastic. I have been anxious my entire life. I have an array of coping mechanisms, had intensive psychotherapy for years as a teenager (thank you NHS), and I challenge myself daily as a reminder of how not scary everything is. Unfortunately it is still completely exhausting battling with it every day and not allowing it to win and dictate my life. I will take this day of mental peace and ENJOY IT.
10.35am: Boyfriend gets up and brings me a glass of water, then brings me tea and toast in bed. We cuddle for a while and then he gets up to do a few chores, I lie in bed for a bit longer enjoying the peace.
12.52pm: Rush out the house to take boyfriend to the barber's for his haircut. I drop him off, park and walk to my favourite weekend spot for a flat white. It’s closing soon so making the most of it.
1.10pm: I know the owner of the shop reasonably well because of my job; somebody has stolen their card reader and we have a spare. In return for lending it to them, my flat white is free!
2.15pm: Boyfriend comes back from his haircut so we walk to get the card reader. On the way back, stop in a whole foods shop and buy fresh turmeric, a slice of sourdough focaccia and two bars of packaging-free soap (so wholesome). My boyfriend has decided he wants to drink fresh turmeric tea to reduce joint inflammation. £6.47, I pay.
2.30pm: Decide to do makeshift pizza with the focaccia so stop at a fancy greengrocer and buy fresh tomatoes, a lemon, white beans, salad, a Tunnock's caramel wafer, a pomegranate San Pellegrino and a ginger beer. £9.84, boyfriend pays.
2.40pm: Go back to the coffee shop and have an oat flat white each and some shortbread. Kindly gifted by the owner again.
6pm: Make our focaccia pizza and watch Netflix’s new series Street Food. We love Asian food so really enjoy this. I struggle to finish my dinner so give it to my boyfriend.
8.30pm: Have a shower and wash my hair. Boyfriend fiddles about with his laptop while I'm doing this and comes to keep me company in intervals.
10pm: Head straight to bed, shattered. Enjoy cuddling very much.
Total: £6.47
Day Four
10am: Rush out the house to go to the next town to have my hair cut. Stop at a cash machine and withdraw £40. If she wasn’t so brilliant I would cut it myself, plus she’s a lovely person and I genuinely enjoy talking to her for an hour or two so it's worth it. She has some stressful stuff going on in her life so we discuss this and have a bit of a laugh. Thankfully she doesn’t laugh at my styling tip, which is: "Tuck my hair behind my ears when it's damp."
11.30am: Walk down to the seafront to meet my boyfriend and we have a coffee. Annoyingly I can’t not spend that hour being slightly irritated by how badly run the coffee shop we’re in is. This is a terrible habit of mine! I have an iced oat latte and he has a ginger tea. £5.15, I pay.
12.30pm: Drive to Sainsbury's to get some shopping for the week and to get the bits we need for the bank holiday. We’re having a few friends over for my birthday and are doing an indoor BBQ. Cheers weather! Buy far too much to list here, but obviously stock up on the essential Marmite peanut butter. £80.57 spent and boyfriend pays; I transfer him £40, despite him telling me not to.
2pm: Unpack our shopping, do a bit of cleaning and I make beans on toast for myself and have a cup of tea. Decide to go to a slow yoga class because I have been verging on a panic attack today – I have a really important job interview next week and I am TERRIFIED. Of going, and also of not getting the job. If I get this job I will have to relocate but my partner and I will finally be able to live together again so there’s quite a lot of pressure, we are both struggling to cope with the distance. Book my yoga class online, £12.
4pm: Decide to download and watch Jurassic World for something lighthearted to do. It’s actually quite enjoyable, we had low expectations! Boyfriend cooks himself pasta with some vegan béchamel from the freezer with peppers, green beans and peas. He saves me half the sauce for after yoga.
5.45pm: Leave boyfriend at home, drive to yoga and park up. I go to hot yoga which means it gets a bit sweaty. I arrive armed with a bottle of water (reusable obvs) and my non-slip towel. I love the teacher who does this class and it is a little bit hard, but so relaxing.
7.05pm: Leave yoga feeling so much better and calmer for slowing my heart rate down. The sun has come out and the wind has dropped so I decide that we should go for a walk on the beach when I get home.
7.20pm: Boyfriend cooked my pasta for me while I was out! What an angel. I heat it up with the sauce, add some veggies and wolf it down. We go out for a walk on the beach, walk home via Co-op and buy chocolate buttons. He has the Bourneville ones and I have Dairy Milk ones. Also buy an oat milk, £5.20.
8.30pm: Finish watching Jurassic World, retire to bed and snuggle.
Total: £102.35
Day Five
9am: Have a bit of a lie-in, boyfriend brings me tea and toast in bed again. I laze about all morning in my dressing gown, watch TV and just generally try to ignore how stressed out I feel.
12.30pm: Pop out for a coffee to try and break my thought pattern a bit. We buy two filters. £4, boyfriend pays.
1.30pm: Head home and start preparing the food for later from stuff we bought yesterday. We make potato salad, slaw, roasted peppers and guacamole. These will be served with some Linda McCartney burgers and I will ice the cake a bit later. I usually make my own birthday cake because baking is my thing, absolutely fine with that!
4pm: Have a minor meltdown about how on earth we’re going to afford to move to London when we have no savings. Swiftly move on from meltdown and thankfully one of our friends arrives who is the most chipper and life-affirming man. We sit and eat most of the guac while catching up and waiting for the others.
5.20pm: A few more friends arrive and we somehow all squeeze into our tiny flat, my boyfriend gets the food on and makes me an Aperol Spritz so I can hang out. I get some very thoughtful cards and gifts.
11.40pm: Our friends who live across the street ended up staying and we exchanged stories about our youthful antics (not even that old yet). Somehow the flat is cleaner now than before people arrived and we flop into bed. So nice to have an extra night together.
Total: £0
Day Six
6am: It’s my birthday! Not feeling enthused despite the exclamation mark. Get a bit upset when my boyfriend leaves, which I don’t usually do. We stay very strong but with how stressed and anxious I am at the moment, I just wish he were around.
7.25am: Meet up with my neighbour who is also my best work pal, we drive to work together. We are short-staffed today of all days, we both have a feeling it’s going to be hard.
10am: Finally get time to scoff a piece of toast.
12.05pm: Manage to squeeze in a 15-minute break, I feel nauseous constantly but sweet things are bearable. Eat toasted banana bread with yoghurt as a birthday treat, also have an oat flat white.
5pm: I have been in a foul mood all day, we had such a rude customer too. Why today! We drive home and I have a quick shower to freshen up and vegetate on the sofa for 20 minutes. We have hot yoga, which is covered by my membership at the studio. I pre-booked so no payment today.
6.30pm: It’s dark and hot and I’m pretty sure I fell asleep for a few minutes. It’s a hard class but I feel so much better by the end. We have Thai food plans and decide takeaway on my sofa sounds more appealing.
6.45pm: Pick up our tofu pad Thai, £17.50 but friend pays as a birthday treat!
8.30pm: We watch First Dates and eat our food, I’m very glad to have company this evening.
9pm: I call back another friend and catch up with her, then I call my mum for a chat, then finally call my boyfriend before I go to sleep. End up being awake too late, considering my 6.30am start tomorrow.
Total: £0
Day Seven
6.30am: Get up and shower. I never eat until I get to work, often this gets pushed back to about 10am but I think my stomach settles better this way anyway.
7.25am: Meet up with work pal and we drive to work together.
4.20pm: Somehow the entire day passes, I didn’t stop for lunch because I still feel nauseous with stress. I nibbled on some bananas, dry pretzels and toast. Also had a batch brew and a cortado, which are free. There’s three of us closing so we dash about and get it done insanely fast. Have a meeting with our boss before we head home.
5pm: I’m the last to leave so I mop the floor. I’m finally starting to feel starving and end up stopping in M&S on my way home and leave with a pot of hummus, a big bag of crisps and a mini selection box of chocolates... £6.85
5.30pm: Eat lots of hummus, crisps and a few chocolates and feel subsequently sick. I have to go back out tonight for an event, I have zero energy to speak or even stand up but I have to go. Going alone is also not fun. I shower and wash my hair so I can have it down and feel more put together than I actually am.
6.45pm: Leave the house and drive to the event. A friend of mine is there because we work in the same industry; she has brought me a birthday present and card, which is so sweet. The event goes on for a bit and I muster the energy to chat. There’s lots of pizza and beer but I’m gluten intolerant and driving, so not a great deal of fun for me. Feel annoyed I couldn’t stomach real food all day because I am HUNGRY.
9.30pm: Finally get home, wolf down some very plain pasta and a piece of toast, then force myself to stay awake to let it go down. FaceTime my boyfriend for a while and eventually go to bed, probably too late again.
There’s a new eco-beauty movement in town and it isn’t merely lip service or bandwagon activism. Circular beauty is here to tackle food waste, an issue at crisis level.
According to Food AWARE, 18 million tonnes of food waste end up in UK landfill each year. That’s estimated to be worth a whopping £23 billion. This is significantly impacting climate change, with the UN Food and Agriculture Organization reporting that global food waste contributes 8% of total greenhouse gas emissions. The impact is twofold: decomposing food waste in landfill releases methane (a greenhouse gas 84 times more potent than carbon dioxide), and the emissions created in the production, packaging, storage, transportation and sale of food are wastefully impacting the planet.
As consumers, we can make a conscious effort to waste less (and dispose of unavoidable food waste correctly), but shopping from brands that implement circular practices is a step further. As opposed to the traditional model of 'make, use, dispose', circular businesses aim to keep resources in use for as long as possible via a regenerative approach.
Take UpCircle Beauty, a skincare brand inspired by coffee waste. "We create 500,000 tonnes of coffee waste each year in the UK alone," cofounder Anna Brightman points out. Brightman realised that if she was throwing away a full cafetière of grounds each morning, coffee shops must be wasting so much more. Aware of coffee’s skincare benefits, Anna joined forces with her brother and collected waste beans from local cafés to make coffee-infused face and body scrubs.
This is a step further than eco-friendly skincare and uses materials which can go through potentially infinite life cycles.
"Coffee is an amazing topical skincare ingredient and its antioxidant levels actually increase in brewed coffee," Brightman explains, with some experts arguing that caffeine has the ability to protect skin from environmental aggressors such as pollution. Research carried out by the Estée Lauder Companies found that topical caffeine also increased "naturally occurring electric fields on the surface of the skin," increasing water content and providing moisturisation, making it great for drier skin types.
After the success of its scrubs, UpCircle started extracting coffee oil from the waste beans to create its bestselling Hydrating Face Serum, £14.99, as well as using residual chai spices to make face cleansing soap bars. Brightman doesn’t plan to stop there, though, and has many upcycling ideas in the pipeline. "We’re currently looking at other 'waste' ingredients including byproducts from hemp manufacture, olive and avocado stones and used flower petals from weddings and florists."
Hackney-based sustainable beauty brand MontaMonta also uses waste coffee. Last year it collaborated with Ozone Coffee to create a Grapefruit + Lemongrass Scrub, £10, using spent coffee grounds collected from Ozone's Old Street café. Similarly, Beauty Kitchen, which prides itself on implementing innovative sustainable practices across the board, created a limited edition Berry British Sustainable Beauty Oil, £20, using oils from waste produce created by the juicing industry. "We have always used cradle-to-cradle principles (an element of circular business)," says Jo Chidley, founder of Beauty Kitchen. "This is a step further than eco-friendly skincare and uses materials which can go through potentially infinite life cycles. With food upcycling, we use industry waste that can make its way back into the nutrient cycle."
Beyond creating a sustainable product, these brands want to use beauty to challenge preconceptions about food waste and spread a wider message about the environment. "We have faced a long period of environmental disasters and it's clear we must find ways to minimise our footprint. Creating fun, effective and attention-grabbing beauty products is an ideal way," Chidley emphasises. But Beauty Kitchen doesn't want to add to eco-anxiety; it wants to relieve it. Monty Ashley-Craig, the founder of MontaMonta, echoes this view. "I think it's important to remember that 'waste' is a relatively new phenomenon that has only developed over the past 100-200 years. I’m hoping to spark a conversation about what 'waste' is, its inherent value and potential for another use," Ashley-Craig explains. "The messaging around sustainability can often be patronising or elitist but there is no commercial product on this planet that can claim to be 100% sustainable. It's about trying your hardest to play your part," she adds.
It's not just smaller and independent brands which are getting in on the action. The Body Shop has been sourcing its almond milk (used throughout its Almond Milk & Honey range) via a community trade initiative in Spain since 2016 – broken almond nuts that aren’t sold for food are salvaged and the unwanted husks turned into compost. More recently, the company has started sourcing thousands of 'wonky' carrots from a British farm to create the Carrot Energising Face Cleanser, £8.50, and the Carrot Cream Nature-Rich Daily Moisturiser, £14, and is also working with a farm in Ecuador to use bananas that wouldn’t be sold in supermarkets to create its limited edition banana range.
As many more big and small brands adopt circular practices, shopping consciously should become easier and more accessible. As Ashley-Craig highlights via a quote from Douglas McMaster, a zero waste pioneer and founder of the UK’s first zero waste restaurant: "Waste is a failure of the imagination." That's food for thought indeed.
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We found the answers to those questions and more — like when Big Little Lies series two premieres and what it’s actually about — and answered them all below. Keep reading for the biggest glimpse into Big Little Lies 2.0 you’ll get before its June 2019 debut.
When is the Big Little Lies season two premiere date?
Big Little Lies season two premieres on Sunday 9th June at 9 p.m. on HBO in the US. It will be taking over the Game of Thrones time slot which means the new series will be kicking off here in the UK at 2am on Monday 10th June on Sky Atlantic (but you can totally wait until the 9pm repeat at the end of the day).
Big Little Lies Cast: Who’s coming back for season two?
The entire major Big Little Lies cast will remain intact for the initially unplanned second season. Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, Laura Dern, Zoë Kravitz, and Shailene Woodley return as the “Monterey Five,” who were the only witnesses to the season one “accidental fatal stair fall” of Perry Wright (Alexander Skarsgård). Viewers know Kravitz’s Bonnie Carlson actually pushed Perry, an abuser and rapist, down a set of stairs before he could harm Kidman's Celeste Wright or any of the other Otter Bay moms.
Famously, Meryl Streep has also joined the Big Little Lies cast as Perry’s suspicious mom, Mary Louise Wright.
The rest of the supporting cast is also back, including Adam Scott, Iain Armitage, Darby Camp, and Kathryn Newton. During a May visit to Late Night With Seth Meyers, Newton, who plays Abigail Carlson, daughter to Witherspoon’s Madeline Martha Mackenzie, revealed her TV mum is the reason she could return to the show. The actress was offered both BLL season two and Detective Pikachu at the same time, and Witherspoon personally moved schedules around to allow Newton to fulfil both roles. “Reese is totally my queen,” Newton laughed.
Is Big Little Lies season two based on a book?
The answer to whether Big Little Lies season two is based on a book is technically both yes and no. After the first season was a success, the series’ producers and HBO executives had a general meeting about the future, network programming chief Casey Bloys told Vulture in December 2017.
While the group knew they “had” to do more of BLL — a ratings winner and awards show juggernaut — they were skeptical about whether the story could actually continue. So, they went to Australian author Liane Moriarty, who penned the initial 2014 novel that gave Big Little Lies its name and plot, to see if she saw any more “life” in her characters, according to Bloys.
“She came up with a novella, which was key. [Creator David E. Kelley] took it and thought, ‘Is there something I can do with it?’” Bloys explained. Eventually, Kelley, Witherspoon, and Kidman, who are all executive producers, agreed that there was more to do with the story.
So, yes, there is a Liane Moriarty book out there guiding the season. However, it’s not currently on the shelves for the world to read. It is unclear if the novella will be published once Big Little Lies wraps its second second.
What is Big Little Lies season two about?
The lies — Big Little Lies season two is all about the lies. Or, more specifically, a single huge lie: the actual events surrounding the death of Perry Wright. Not only is the detective from season one, Adrienne Quinlan (Merrin Dungey), trying to crack the Monterey Five — but they also have to contend with prying questions from Meryl Streep’s Mary Louise. As we hear the Wright matriarch tell Celeste in the trailer, “You don’t believe my son just slipped.”
Photo: Courtesy of HBO.
Besides watching these women try to keep up the bloodiest deception of their lives, there will also some be some smaller emotional moments at play in season two. It’s time for second grade at Otter Bay, so the usual mommy jockeying is back, with Madeline prepared to tear through her local rivals. It also seems likely everyone will be grappling with how Perry’s death, and all the secrets around it, affect the Big Little kids.
How many episodes of Big Little Lies are there?
There will be seven episodes of Big Little Lies season two. There were also seven episodes of BLL season one. The biggest change in production this time around is that Jean-Marc Vallée, who helmed all seven parts of BLL ’s first season, will no longer be directing its sophomore run. Instead, Andrea Arnold, who directed 2016’s American Honey, a handful of Transparent episodes, and half of Amazon Prime's canceled I Love Dick, will be directing all of Big Little Lies season two.
Is Big Little Lies on Netflix? Will Big Little Lies ever be on Netflix?
Sorry Netflix fans, Big Little Lies season two will not be on Netflix. BLL season 1, for that matter, will never be on Netflix either. Since the drama is an HBO product, it only lives on streaming through HBO Go or HBO Now. However, depending on what premium additions you have through Amazon Prime or Hulu, you may also be able to watch Big Little Lies via those services.
Big Little Lies season two airs in the UK on Monday 10th June on Sky Atlantic and Now TV
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